Throughout the past couple of centuries and more, society has shifted from idolizing one group of people to another. In the late 19^th and early 20^th Century it was the scientist and inventor; in the Roaring Twenties it was the young and independent; in the 40s and 50s it was the soldier; in the 60s and 70s the businessman and stockbroker; in the 80s the rocker, and so on. Today, one can (and in my case, will) argue that the “in-crowd” of the moment is that of the introvert. Introverts might hate being in the spotlight, but like it or not, the spotlight is exactly where they’re in.

BOOKS, QUIET, SOLITUDE, RAINY DAY, ETC.

Unless your internet has been out for the past decade (maybe you use Singtel, or something), you must have realized that digital media abounds with respect for the archetype of the introvert. We have this image of what an introvert is, and spout volumes of rhetoric about their virtues. The introspective intellectual; the bookish loner; the quiet party-hater; the lone wolf in his fortress of solitude. Take a hike through the myriad introvert-centric articles of the elitedaily’s and thoughtcatalog’s of the net and you might find that our image of the stereotypical introvert has gotten so specific and extreme that it can only be described as caricature. While many of us identify in some way as introverts, many of us also identify in certain ways with characteristics of the extrovert. Regardless, whether you consider yourself an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, it is important to realise that introversion-extraversion is not a binary. The vast majority of people fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, exhibiting both introverted and extroverted traits to varying degrees. Not all introverts are smart or shy, and not all extroverts are boneheaded jocks or basic bitches who hate books and meaningful conversation. However, many an internet article waxing rhetoric on the shrine of the introvert seems subscribed to the notion that the traits commonly associated with introversion are exclusive to and inextricable from introverts. Come on, guys. You know it’s not that simple.

PRODUCT OF TECHNOLOGY

In her article titled The Introvert Fetish, Whitney Erin Boesel asserts that beyond internet articles and blogposts pandering to the sensibilities of the introvert, the introvert craze we are in might actually have begun as a response to the invention of the internet. With the advent of the world-wide web and the advancement of communication technology, we began to witness an unprecedented level of superficiality in our communications. We realized that in many ways, communicating on the internet resembles our typical ideas associated with extraversion. Messages are short and shallow. Articles are a fraction the length of their printed counterparts. Social media interactions are touch-and-go. Like our constantly ringing smartphones, extroverts never shut up. Like our Facebook accounts, extroverts have far too many fake friends. Like extroverts, online communication lacks depth and authenticity. Because of this, we have gravitated away from the innate superficiality of cyberspace, towards a pursuit of real-ness, hence driving us into an appreciation of the characteristics of introversion, to the point of “fetishism”. Ironically, while the internet may be a haven for introverts and their self-praising fans, the decidedly un-introverted characteristics of online communications may be exactly what birthed the introvert craze in the first place. Or, as Boesel puts it, “Actual introverts may have a particular affinity for the Internet, but the Internet itself becomes an extrovert.” As a way of pushing back against the perceived hollowness of digitally mediated experiences, Boesel believes that we as a society have invented the introvert fetish in an attempt to reconnect with a sense of offline authenticity and meaning, even while staying constantly connected to the internet. We want to call ourselves introverts, because we want to believe that we are genuine and "real", while we flood ourselves with all the fake, superficial nonsense of the internet and social media. What do you think, dear reader? Do you identify as an introvert? If you do, how do you feel about the constant barrage of media sucking up to the stereotypical introvert by portraying a caricaturized version of you? Do you think the introvert craze is a positive movement towards the acceptance of introverts in a traditionally extrovert-dominated world? Or is it simply a manifestation of conservative backlash against the artificiality of an internet-augmented society? <a href=" Image Credit

When I came inside my girlfriend, I shouted a loud, “Majulah Singapura!!” Limpeh Says, the ‘complete the sentence’-style card game that underwent crowdfunding on Kickstarter has already, within the short span of a week, garnered $75,000 in pledges -- far exceeding its $20,000 goal. Evidently, Singaporeans love the idea of a uniquely Singaporean twist on the fearlessly politically incorrect Cards Against Humanity. Instead of playing answers to subject matter we honestly have no clue about or are unable to relate to, in this version, we get to play cards with slang only we Singaporeans understand to topics including politics, sex, and race. It's the perfect recipe for hours of entertainment -- especially given the taboo nature of some of these topics in Singapore.

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Prompted by a school assignment with the theme ‘Local Identity in a Global Context’, what started as a design project that sought to house all of Singapore’s traits—her good, her bad, and her ugly—in one piece of work gave rise to a game many of us Singaporeans are itching to have a go at with our friends. Tan Yong Heng, the man, the jokester, the straight-speaking 20-year-old, and co-creator, Gabriel Leow, created this game with different intentions in mind; Yong Heng wanted to prove to others that pursuing and creating art does not necessarily mean a bleak, unsuccessful future. Gabriel, on the other hand, hopes this will spark a movement towards pride in and support of locally made games.

"We should all be vocal about things that matter."

What are some things you aim to achieve with this game? We (Gabriel, my partner on this project, and I) have different reasons for wanting to make this project a success. I wanted to show that this was a project from a student studying art. There is still negative social stigma regarding the Arts and humanities, that it entails a bleak future. When people look at this product, I want them to think, ‘Hey, this was actually a project from an art student while he was still studying,’ and to show them that there are actually opportunities for everyone, everywhere. Gabriel, the co-owner of Play Nation and project manager of Limpeh Says, wants it to be a success because he feels that there is a lack of locally made games in Singapore. Oftentimes, Singaporeans tend to shun from anything local or ‘local adaptations’ from fear of it being a cringe-fest. But that isn’t always the case. He wants people to look at this product and start making their own things too, and hopefully, there will be more locally made games in the future. What are some fun/funny tidbits you have to share that went behind the creation of this game? One of the few names we had for the game was ‘Rojak 69’. Rojak because the game has everything about our culture in it, and 69 because it’s just stupid sexual humour. Evidently, I am very mature. We eventually settled for Limpeh Says because we wanted something that’s easy to hashtag, easy to use in a conversation, and something with a local slang. Also, we like the idea that the person who’s playing the Red Card every round is the ‘limpeh’ who commands and dictates who should be the one worthy of the win. How did you create a game that was so Singaporean? What additional research did you have to do and what are some things you learnt about Singapore culture during the process? Firstly, it helped that I was conceived and brought up in this country. From there on, a lot of the things that are in this game just came naturally from experiences of growing up here. So, if you ever want to create a uniquely Singaporean game, my advice is to be born here. I Googled opinions of Singapore and Singaporeans from locals and foreigners. Interestingly enough, outsiders had a better opinion of our country. Things we take for granted like our clean water, great transport system, 10 months of fresh air... What is your favourite part about Singapore culture? I think it’s great that we have such a socially cohesive culture; here, people of all races, religions, and gender live in peace and harmony. It’s also heart-warming to see that we don’t experience blood-baths every other day. I absolutely adore the fact that we might be one of the most unoriginal countries ever. Heck, even my game isn’t original. But that’s us, right? Our culture is basically a mash-up of all other cultures, although we are influenced largely by the Western side of the world. We’re great at taking an existing product and making it so much better, like education, healthcare, housing. Nothing is ever original here, but everything is better. And what is your least favourite part? We’re all too uptight and entitled. Things have to be done a certain way, and to our own expectations. Everything has to be fast and done ASAP, there’s no breathing space. We complain too much--way too much for our own good. Neighbours cooking curry, people playing Pokémon Go, Hello Kitty queues. Limpeh Says is "a satirical parody of our nation's culture and fear of taboo topics". What are some topics you’ve found that Singaporeans (including yourself) cannot talk openly about? Politics, sex, race, religion, government, money, government using our money, our ancestors. How did you learn that these topics were not to be spoken of? Once again, by being born in Singapore. Also, seeing news of people getting sued or jailed for saying way too much. What do you think about self-censorship? I think self-censorship is necessary. Humans are inherently very stupid creatures, and we need some sort of filter. Take Amos Yee for example, I think all he had to do was not use such aggressive words or such an aggressive tone and he wouldn’t be where he is today, wherever he is right now. That being said, we should all be vocal about things that matter. Do you think Singaporeans are becoming more open and willing to address taboo topics nowadays? For sure. While I do not think that being open is ‘necessary’ or ‘good’, it will definitely spark some social change within Singapore.

2016 was a weird year, to say the least. Dumpster fire, train wreck, and flaming hot mess are just some phrases one could use to describe the events of the year in the public sphere. But for many of us, 2016 might have been a shitty year on a much more personal level. If you’re nodding your head right now, this is for you. This is for those looking to dust themselves off and trudge on into a new year with hopes for better things. Maybe 2016 wasn’t a great year for your love life. Maybe you met that perfect someone only to realise he/she was attached. Maybe you lost someone you really cared about to silly differences or selfish actions. Maybe your dozenth one night stand had you realising that you should put your clothes back on and start looking for something real, or maybe a troubled relationship made you want to get back out there and have some fun. Let us remember that the most important love of all lies in accepting one’s self, because life is above all, a personal experience. In the moments when you’re alone in the shower, drifting into sleep or daydreaming on the train, you have only yourself and your thoughts to keep you company. If you can’t look in the mirror and love what you see, no one can look in your eyes and love you. Let us remember to practice self-love and strive to accept our own flaws while staying open-minded to change and self-improvement. Maybe 2016 took a dump on your career ambitions. Maybe obstacles like studies and financial difficulties started rearing their hideous little heads and throwing wrenches into your laid-out plans. Everyone’s got a plan until reality steps in and punches them in the face. Maybe you’re still searching for your “calling”; for that perfect job that will somehow grant you both fulfilment in life and a reasonable pay. Something that you enjoy, are good at, and can sustain you, all at the same time. And society expects you to find this magical trifecta-fulfilling job in less than a year. Screw that, am I right? I say take your damned time. If 2016 wouldn’t yield, maybe 2017 will. Maybe in 2016 you lost sight of the goals you had set for yourself. Maybe you gave up on going to the gym, eating healthy, or whatever it is you wanted to do to improve your quality of life or become a better person. Maybe you let your goals become chores. Maybe you left your motivation behind in April. Remember, going into 2017, that only you can set goals for yourself and decide what is good or bad for you. Don’t listen to others telling you what to do, and do what’s right for you. Ignore everything I’ve written, if that’s what you want. I don’t know you. You know you. As Earth hurtles into yet another revolution around the sun, let us remember to keep looking forward and leave the past where it belongs. Like a driver who keeps his eyes on the road and only occasionally glances in the rear-view mirror, let us remember that our journey lies ahead of us, not behind. Let us change what we can for the better, accept what we can’t change, and know how to tell the difference. And when we’re ready to step into 2018 this time next year, let’s hope we can look back and say, “Well, that was better.”

https://www.facebook.com/Urbanites.co/posts/1783009985281633

2016 is the year that keeps on giving, isn’t it? And when I say giving, I mean taking repeated dumps on our collective faces. On Tuesday morning, Carrie Fisher, best known for her iconic role as Princess and General Leia Organa in four Star Wars movies, died following a heart attack. She was 60. Today, we mourn the loss of a woman many of us came to know through her iconic work, and honour all the ways her actions helped to make the world a little bit better.

Princess, General, All-Round Badass

When honouring the legacy of Carrie Fisher, is there any other way to begin than with Star Wars? It is the reason we know of her, after all. First released in 1977, Star Wars wowed moviegoers everywhere and forever changed the landscape of the film industry. Who can forget Fisher’s first appearance in that movie, as a hologram message to Obi-Wan, and Luke’s fitting response? “Who is she? She’s beautiful!” She is indeed. In a time when actresses were usually relegated to roles as damsels and love interests, Carrie Fisher’s Leia provided audiences with a refreshingly out-of-the-box take on the female protagonist. A capable leader and fighter for the Rebellion, Leia gave us a compelling female character in a film trilogy that was essentially a big-budget teenage boy's fantasy. By portraying a strong woman in power, Fisher added positively to the growing feminist movement, and shone as an inspiration to girls everywhere. Leia may have been a fictional character, but her impact on the landscape of film and gender issues was very real. And don’t lie, you squealed at least a little bit when you saw Carrie Fisher in 2015’s The Force Awakens. To know that we will never again see General Leia Organa portrayed by Carrie Fisher is a depressing thought for every Star Wars fan. Following the onscreen death of her husband Han Solo, the inevitable departure of our favourite general-princess in the ongoing saga will undoubtedly be an emotional moment for many in the theatre, especially with the added weight of the actress’s real-world passing.

Fighting Mental Illness and substance abuse

A side of Carrie Fisher many of us didn’t know about was her struggle with bipolar disorder and drug use. While those struggles themselves don’t in themselves make her special or worthy of notice, what does is the way she chose to approach them. Throughout her career and life as a public figure, Fisher had been completely open about her issues. She admitted openly to abusing cocaine and prescription drugs during the filming of Empire Strikes Back, saying in 2001, “Drugs made me feel normal.” She even starred in a solo play Wishful Drinking, chronicling her battle with addiction. Writing for The Guardian in a column titled advice from the dark side, Fisher provided candid and honest advice to readers suffering from mental illness, writing in a compassionate and self-deprecating fashion that alluded to her literary skill as an author of multiple novels. In a society where many suffer in silence from mental illness due to the stigma attached to it, the positive impact of a public figure like Fisher coming out as bipolar without shame cannot be overstated. Mental illnesses are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, and that's it. These people aren't broken or weak. Their disorders don't indicate problems with their character, but with their health. As with any sickness, sufferers of bipolar disorder, depression, or any other psychological disorder need to realize that it's okay to seek help and treatment. With her actions, Fisher embodies the courage and determination it takes to accept and tackle mental illness in a culture determined to discriminate. With her unabashed attitude towards mental illness, Fisher championed acceptance and brought us a little closer to a world where victims of mental health issues can seek help without fear of judgment or persecution. For that, she deserves our respect. Like Leia, Carrie Fisher was strong, bold, and unapologetic. She will be missed. <a href=" Image Credit

Her name is Nur Aida Sai’ad but most people know her by her alias “Yellow Mushmellow”. If you haven’t heard of her, maybe you’ve seen some of her work—those commissioned by the likes of Redbull and McDonald's, or even the personal projects she embarks on just for fun. The latter includes <a href=" drawn onto barf bags with mouths that open and close and <a href=" cakes she draws for everyone who wishes her a happy birthday, among others.

The story behind “Yellow Mushmellow” is… Well, there isn’t a badass story—she admits she wishes she had one. She just likes yellow and marshmallows. Beyond the name, she thinks of Yellow Mushmellow as her superhero alter-ego, “the brand behind which I mask my anti-social desire to draw all day and never leave home.”

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Art, for most of Aida’s life, was just a hobby. Even though she grew up in a fairly artistic family (both her parents are in creative fields), Aida never took classes for it, not even in school. It wasn’t until after her A-level exams that she realised her enjoyment in creating little doodles was something worth exploring, not just in University, but also as a profession.

“I tell people I’m a self-employed illustrator but that’s really a fancy term for fun-employed.”

How did you get here? I didn’t actually take Art in school. I always just did it on the side. But I think what really made me go, “hey I can do this” was my A-level exams. I do this thing where I “draw my problems.” It was a difficult and stressful time, so I personified each A-level subject that I was taking and killed them off one by one in different scenarios in a series called “Death by Tests”. They were stick figure drawings but I am still very proud of them. Because I doodled them on the side of the pages or on rough paper, I caught the attention of my teachers. And after a few papers, they started looking forward to my drawings and would ask, “So what did you draw today,” when they came to collect my paper. Every one of your projects looks fun and has an interesting idea behind it. How do you come up with these ideas and where do you find your inspiration? I believe very strongly that creativity is seeing magic in the most mundane, everyday things. All you need is a little imagination, spontaneity and fun. If you’re navigating life after a painful loss, draw about your experience with grief and pretend you’re on an adventure in outer space, searching for meaning within the infinite unknown. If you’re angry about something, turn it into a monster and then make up heroic battles in your head — it makes it easier to laugh at your demons when you give them funny faces and silly personalities. When you’re bored on the plane, draw on the air sickness bags, make them into paper bag puppets, talk to them. Ideas are everywhere. Illustration, words, style and technique are just tools to express your ideas — these things change and grow over the years, but it’s these ideas that influence you that make you you, and you have to let them jump out at you from the most unassuming places. If I had to name my biggest source of inspiration though, it would be my two special-needs sisters. I think growing up with them and the unpredictability that comes with it forces me to make light of every situation life throws at me, whether good or bad. They also have a really brilliant, uninhibited way of looking at the world, which is very different from our conventional understandings and logic, and that, in my opinion, is the very definition of creativity. I learn a lot from them every day. I'm sure this is all a lot harder than it looks. What’s the hardest part about doing creative work? I think the playful nature of creative work makes it hard for people to take it seriously at first. Most of my favourite projects start out as silly ideas or just mindless hobbies that I do for no reason other than that I really, really wanted to do them. They are sometimes considered self-indulgent and a complete waste of time, money and effort. It is not peoples’ fault when they think that way because that’s the way the functional world works and things get done. I do believe that art, poetry, music, and all these ‘useless’ creative spheres can save the world just as a doctor can. It is the language through which we cope and make sense of our surroundings. It is the artist’s job to master communicating their ideas to the audience in an accessible manner, and I’m always trying to figure that bit out. Do you have any creative insecurities? How do you deal with them? As much as the social-recluse-working-from-his-basement-and-bubble-of-oblivion stereotype holds, it’s natural to always compare yourself to others in the field and feel like you’re never good enough. Good work that you aspire towards has the ability to both—in equal parts—make you feel like scum or feed you with enough delusions of invincibility to propel you to do good work of your own. I always tell myself to want it more than I fear it, even if that’s the harder road to take. Also, to keep doing it anyway. It doesn’t matter if you’re never happy with what you’ve done because dissatisfaction will always push you to do more. Your “impossible” pursuit of unattainable perfection has a higher chance of forcing you to get out, grow and create things than wading around in your comfort zone ever will. Would you say that you love what you do? How do you know? I love making things. It’s the greatest privilege and joy to be able to create. I think I know because I never get bored. There is always something exciting to do and think about.

Now, in case you let this piece of news slip under your Trump-filled radar over the past couple of weeks, let me get you up to speed. On November the 8^th (the day of the US Presidential Election, no less), PM Lee announced amendments to the Constitution that would reserve the next Presidential Election in 2017 for Malay candidates. “Wait, what???” Yeah, while you were busy Trumping about, our government slipped underneath the hairpiece of America’s racist President-Elect, and dropped a racist election on us. Can I hear a yay for democracy?

Equality of Opportunity, and Equality of Outcome

What does it mean to be fair? In a meritocratic society like Singapore is supposed to be, equality and fairness mean providing equal opportunity, regardless of the outcome. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman, Malay or Indian, everyone gets an equal chance, as long as those characteristics don’t impact one’s suitability for the position in question. That’s equality. Gaming the system to favour one race over others in an attempt to achieve some superficial semblance of equality through an underlying framework of inequality? That’s racism. That’s equality of outcome. Imagine if the Olympic Committee announced that the 100m Sprint finals at the 2020 Tokyo Summer Olympic Games would be reserved for Asian sprinters, because we haven’t had an Asian Gold medallist in that event in the longest time. Imagine the controversy, the PR nightmare. “But that’s different!” Oh yes, of course, that’s the Olympics! We’re only talking about a country’s president here. No need for the same standards of fairness. That was sarcasm.

Social Progress and Race Neutrality

Malays do not need tokenistic hand-outs and special assistance from the government to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with their countrymen. Malays are every bit as capable of being president as any other race, because race shouldn’t factor into political discourse at all. A Chinese president should represent ALL races, not just the Chinese, and so should a Malay president. While the move to ensure a Malay president will help to present an image of racial harmony to the country and to the world, it will also sow the seeds of racial discord among the non-ignorant in Singapore. You can be president, if your skin colour is correct. Message received, loud and clear. If we don’t pursue our country’s race-neutral ideals of equality and meritocracy, how will we ever achieve true social progress? You don’t move forward by moving backwards in the name of “pragmatism”. Sure, expecting absolute racial equality might be idealistic for now, but fair and race-neutral elections shouldn’t be that much to ask for, even in our current political climate. <a href=" Image Credit

Many of us consider Singapore to be a relatively safe place. We don’t hear many stories about people getting sexually harassed, and rarely do we hear them told from the victims themselves. Yesterday, a question posted to Reddit Singapore asking “Women of /r/singapore, have you ever experienced sexual harassment?” sparked a flurry of responses from women detailing their experiences with sexual harassment, revealing that this may be more common in Singapore than we realize. 1. Many times. The one incident that happened on public transport when I was 16. Gotten on the MRT and noticed this guy who kept staring at me. I walked to the other side of the train and he followed. When the seat beside me cleared up, he sat down. He wasn't local, probably around late 20s - early 30s. After a few stops, he turns to me and asked in mandarin, "You want to come to my house and watch porn?". I noticed he was holding his phone and it was a naked girl on his display. Replied him loud enough for everyone to hear that if he asks me to watch porn with him again, I will report him for sexual harassment. He noped out of the MRT pretty quick. - saltides 2. Yes, plenty of times, but one particular incident stands out to me. A few years ago I was riding on a bus and some old hamsup ticko sat next to me. He struck up a conversation by asking me for the time and we continued making small talk about general things. The longer we talked, the more personal his questions got. He eventually started asking me where I lived, what school I went to, why I was going home this late at night (it was only 10pm, wtf). I deflected most of his questions by giving fake or really vague answers. I was getting super SKETCHED OUT and was planning to switch seats until he dropped this bomb on me: [Appraises me up and down] "For a small girl like you, you have really big boobs" I noped the fuck out of there at the next stop. - wandxrlust 3. (1) Not me, but my friends. Sec 1, they were just walking around those neighborhood shops when they notice a man following them around. They run into a toilet and hide in cubicle hoping to evade him. Several minutes pass and they don't hear anything so they go out. As they stood in front of the mirror and do as all 13 year old girls do (i.e selfies with Motorola razr), a cubicle door opens. Lo and behold, it's the creep. He approaches them while they stare into the reflection in the mirror. They were too scared to scream or run. He holds out his hand asking for some soap. One of myblonde friends (not making fun of blonde angmoh girls but my friend was like the stereotypical blonde air headed bimbo type) told him "You can press the soap machine and take yourself." He smiles at her and asks her to pass him some. Her, being dumb af, pumped some soap into her palm and pours it into his hands. That's when she notices that he has his dick in his other hand and was wanking off. They all notices it at the same time, scream and takes off running into a nearby LAN shop where a few ah bengs decide to help them out and hunt for the guy. Never found him. (2) I worked in a kitchen as part of my internship and had some ungodly hours to clock. One night, I took the last 857 bus home. If you know 857, you'd know the passengers. They're mostly Bangladeshi construction workers. It was a Sunday night and the entire bus was packed with construction workers. Not to be mean or anything, I am pretty tight with some construction workers around my housing area and regularly talk to them. Most of them are hardworking and nice, but then there's the 5% that just ruins everything. Pretty sure all 5% of the bad apples were in that bus that night. I had no seat and was squashed up in a corner. I felt a hand grazing my butt every time the bus jerked. Decided to give the guy the benefit of the doubt; maybe it was an accident. But when the bus hit a stop light and I found a hand on my ass... Oh boy. That ain't no accident. I turned around and glared into his eyes. Pretty sure I shot lasers that night. He got the message and left me alone. But I had another thing to survive - getting out of the bus. My stop was coming up next after a hellish hour on that bus. I was really far from the exit and had to squeeze through everyone. I was like… the only girl on that bus. And I could not count how many hands were on my body as I tried to exit. It was the scariest and most disgusting thing I’ve ever felt in my life. I went home to scrub myself after that. None of them were accidents. I looked into their faces as I exited and as I said "excuse me" and they were LAUGHING and smiling at me as they groped me. #FYOU - lunaelly 4. When I was in Sec 4, this senior of mine asked me to come down to his house so that I could collect some guidebooks from him. Slightly sketchy but his dog was super cute and I trusted him to not be a dick. Never was I so wrong. He threatened to rape me. I put on a false bravado and basically told him that I would fuck him over if he tried. Scarred for life afterwards, and still have a slight fear of all men to this day. - kat-xuan 5. (1) Man on the train kept brushing against my butt in a rocking motion while we were standing, it was morning rush but it wasn't that bad. Other people could stand behind each other with a good amount of space. I walked off whenever I could, but this has happened more than once. Men also like to use the crowded train as an excuse to brush against my boobs. (2) I was resting my arms on the armrests in a hair salon and the guy hairdresser who was meant to be a family friend kept pressing/moving his crotch against my arm and would stand necessarily close to cut my hair. I was about 16 or 17 at the time. I moved my arms, didn't say anything and waited for the nightmare to be over. Never let him cut my hair ever again. (3) I worked as a beer promoter when I was about 15-16? Can't name the brand, but it's a fairly popular brand here. Old men would constantly ask 'Little girl, come serve us ah' when I was only meant to promote it at a store. Constant wolf whistling. I was scared and soft spoken back then, so I didn't say anything. (4) Surrounded by guys who think it's okay to make rape jokes. One dude said to me, when we were alone, "I wish the purge would happen in Singapore. Then rape can be legal." I was horrified and I told him off but I'm pretty sure he still wants it to happen. (5) I was walking and this old man was walking in my direction. As he got nearer, he (looked to be about 60-70+ years old by the way) and and said "WOW!" really loud while ogling my tits while I speed walked. I was already about five steps before my brain processed what he had done. I was wearing a normal, fitted star wars shirt and this happened yesterday outside a MRT station. - moleskines 6. Friend says he needs to pee after drinking at Clarke quay. On his way home on the cab. Calls and asks if I can let him go up and pee cuz it's urgent and the cab ride is far away. I say ok. Comes up. Pees. Leaves bathroom. Starts getting touchy. Drag me to my bedroom. Mouth covered. Dunno why parents don't wake up. Starts forcibly kissing. I say no. But he was so drunk like, I think he wasn't responding. Drunk people are actually really strong. Vagina bleeds for the next few days. Dropped all the friends from that circle immediately. - hieveemonster 7. Working in F&B for a while now. My male colleagues kinda see me as a bro and they joke about sexual stuff. But sometimes they get a little too… Eh… Idk the exact words for what I am describing but these are what my male coworkers have said to me: "How big are your boobs?" "Do you like big dicks?" "You must be damn tight." "Wanna go out to drink? Let's get drunk and have a one night stand. I promise to make you scream." I usually shut them up with some sarcastic reply but it only works for a while. - lunaelly 8. Dude stalked me on the way home. When I got into the lift, he stopped the doors from closing and started to jerk off. I vividly remember that he has a very small member... I was 19 then, and a late bloomer, I panicked and screamed. He booked it. Then I threw my bag at him but missed. Some people came around because of the commotion and told me to go to the police. They weren't really kind, they made some sarcastic remarks too. Then I went to the police station nearby and waited for my mum and sis to come pick me up. - PrimAndProper69 9. My best friend once had a guy sit next to her on the bus, and just started to jerk off right next to her. Fuck, just last week some guy pretended to be a buyer on Carousell and kept sending her dick pics. - samleecx 10. Yes a couple of times. The scariest would have to be when I was 12. I was on the way home from school in my PE uniform (tee and shorts) and had fallen asleep on the bus. I was sitting on the inner seat closest to the window. I woke up to an old uncle stroking my thighs. I was too scared to make a big fuss, so after I tried getting him to stop once, I just got off a stop earlier. - strangerrocks 11. Fell asleep once on the bus, woke up to find the guy behind me had slid his hand between the seat and the bus wall and was stroking my waist. Another time on the MRT, this guy started easing his hand under the schoolbag on my lap and started stroking my thigh. - halfbakery 12. (1) A guy once stuck a piece of paper with his phone number in my bra when I bent over to pick something up. (2) When making a police report, the IO asked about the color of my bra/asked if I want to see ‘his gun’/told me to feel free to send him ‘photos’. - elmachosierra 13. When I was working, I had a particularly cheeko co-worker framing his lewd requests as jokes and asking me to let him "touch (my) boobs, just once" (should I mention, while pointing a knife at me, we work in a kitchen) or openly checking me out and intentionally making it known to me. - saydoubleokay <a href=" Image Credit

Nothing.

Breakups are one of the most painful things in life to go through. You're plagued by the memory of them, the things you've done together, the places you've gone, and whether you're on the initiating or receiving end of the breakup, it hurts. Like hell. In the wake of a breakup, it can seem like the pain will never end, that you will always be broken, and that you will never be able to love again. All that couldn't be further from the truth. One day, you'll wake up and realize that you're okay, that you survived it, that they've been cleansed from your system. This is how 17 Singaporeans knew they were finally over their ex-es.

1. When the memory of them stops haunting you

"When I can look at the other person and laugh at the memories." "When I look at their post on Facebook and don't think of my time with them." "When you go back to places you've been to together and it doesn't upset you." "When I start forgetting simple things like which floor they live on or their middle names."

2. When you can be normal around them

"When I no longer feel awkward around them."

3. When it just stops hurting

"When I no longer cry when I sleep." "When I can listen to "Six degrees of separation" by The Script and not feel anything anymore." "When I no longer feel happy/sad/angry etc. over them. Just neutral. When I'm sort of apathetic towards them?"

4. When you no longer think about them

"When I no longer think of them as I wake up and as I go to sleep." "When I only think about them once in awhile." "When I can get on with my life as per usual and not think about or check on the person every other hour." "When I no longer think of the person when I'm having fun. When you're with someone, you think of them when you're having fun 'coz you want them to share your joy. When you stop thinking about them when you're happy, you're over them."

5. When they stop being a sensitive topic

"When I feel neutral when people mention their name/places we've been to/activities we've done together." "When I'm okay seeing them date someone else." "When I see them with someone else and I'm like heng ah, lucky I never end up with that person. " "When I simply don't feel anything when people talk about him or when I bump into him."

6. When you move on

"When I'm interested in someone else." How did you know when you were finally over your ex? Submit your story to [email protected].

Read Next: 16 Singaporeans Share What They Hate Most About Dating These Days

Dating in this day and age is a tricky thing to navigate. There are new relationship labels, new relationship dynamics, new dating habits, and let's just say not all of these changes are for the better. These are some things Singaporeans Hate--with a capital'H'--about the dating scene today.

1. You're probably not the only one

"Too many avenues of distraction, especially during the early dating phase i.e. high possibility of concurrent dating." "Trust issues. That one guy/girl you're dating may be dating 10 other people. HEARTS ARE AT STAKE HERE PEOPLE!"

2. A generation of commitment-phobes

"How casual everything is." "People are not as willing to put in effort and are always looking for the easy way out."

3. Life gets in the way

"Too many commitments."

4. It's all about sex

"Hookup culture." "Assuming everything is somehow physical-related."

5. A difference in expectations

"When guys just want casual sex."

6. Having to play the damn game

"The GAME. Of waiting and coy flirting." "The fact that you can't be entirely honest with the person you're chasing/dating. One has to pretend to be interested yet not overly interested. You have to play it cool and not reply/text early. Somehow, dating has evolved into a mind game. I personally prefer how things were done in the past where it was a little more direct."

7. What happened to good ol' face to face? Or phone calls?

"Everything seems to be done over the online medium. I think the tradition of calling someone on the phone and asking them out is so sweet! And you can actually genuinely feel the interest level of the other party from their voice over the phone." "Texting, because you can't communicate ~real~ feelings."

8. Blurred lines

"Not knowing when to close the deal."

9. "It's complicated."

"Too many labels: dating/seeing so-and-so/friends with benefits. What happened to good, old fashioned romance?"

10. Oversensitive people

"If one is too frank, one is likely to be perceived as out of line."

11. Um... It's awesome?

"Nothing." What do you hate most about dating these days? Submit your story to [email protected].

Read Next: 17 Singaporeans Share How They Knew They Were Finally Over Their Ex-es