The ‘gay best friend’ has made an appearance in various chick flicks – Damian from Mean Girls and Christian from Clueless, heck there’s even a movie released in 2013 titled G.B.F. Although they stereotype the gay community as flamboyant gossip queens, we’re not here to shed light on the media’s lack of representation. Most of us know that not all gay men are effeminate and sassy. In fact, having an openly homosexual friend doesn't raise eyebrows anymore. It has even been proven that straight women find a greater sense of comfort and trust in their friendships with gay men than fellow gal pals.

It was my gay best friend's birthday a few weeks back and I was about to post a photo of us on Instagram with a sappy caption until I realised how much we looked like a couple. I was sitting on his lap, both of us looking flushed from the drinks, all ready for ZoukOut. Research shows that compared to men, women are touchier with people they are close to, so it's normal for them to hug their close friends, exchange the occasional cheek kisses or hold hands while hanging out. I am no exception. Before my friend asked for advice on the huge fight she had with her long time lover about going overseas alone with her gay friend, I never had a reason to question my own behaviour with my gay best friend. Turns out, all my friends have extremely differing views on whether the physical intimacy between gay men and straight women are an exception to the rules governing a monogamous relationship. We can't blame our boyfriends for being protective, but is this too much?

How It Looks

Back when we had more time for each other, my Instagram feed was filled with photos of my gay best friend and I, always with our hands wrapped around each other's waist. Since I wasn't attached and he wasn't completely out of the closet, people assumed he was my new hot date. As flamboyant and effeminate as they might be, a gay man doesn't have defining 'gay' features. If pictures are enough to make my friend and I a couple, an intimate hug or interlocking fingers in public will definitely look bad on my beau. I didn't post the photo in the end because I didn't want my relationship to be subjected to unnecessary judgement. It won't be fair for my boyfriend to defend my reputation and our relationship against his close friends and family, too.

Born This Way

When I asked a few other guys to comment on the matter, “What if he changes his mind about being gay?” is the most common concern they have. Don't be too quick to call them bigots, let’s not forget that YouTube star Gigi Gorgeous came out of the closet three times – first as gay, then as trans and after she broke up with her one-year boyfriend, she came out as lesbian.

Discovering gender and sexuality is a journey. We live in an era of non-binary gender identities and the freedom to love whoever we want. That makes, "Is he really gay?" a valid concern. Although I reassured my friends that a more likely possibility to worry about is the girlfriend developing a crush on her best friend instead. I cite the various forums and articles of girls fessing up on falling in love with a gay man as reference.

Same Same But Different

On these same forums, many talked about how boyfriends should think of gay friends as just another female. Is kissing your gay friend really the same as kissing one of your girlfriends though? Let's not strip a man of his masculinity just because he shares your preference for dicks – gender orientation and sexual orientation are different. Your gay friend deserves to be respected like the man he identifies to be, regardless of how "limp-wristed" he is. If your boyfriend objects to the physical aspects of your friendship with a gay man, it also means he respects your best friend as a man sans his sexual preference. That's why he may be upset to catch you sitting on someone else's lap – as innocent as the intention was.

Commitment

Then there's the "but we've been friends for so long already," and "it didn't mean anything." While tongue wrestling with a platonic friend and having one night stands have no emotional sentiments, it definitely meant something. Physical intimacy is a big factor in a relationship and it becomes void of its exclusivity if you get too touchy with anyone else. In the end, every relationship is defined only by the two people involved – where do you and your partner draw the line on skinship with other people? Also read, I Like Guys And Girls But My Religion Says It’s Unacceptable.

Alcohol makes people do the most ridiculous sh*t. Things that they will never, ever do when sober. Like make out with a dodgy person at the club. Or steal gummy bears at 7-11. Or waking up from your drunken slumber to find yourself in another country. We asked millennials to share the most ridiculous things they have done when they were drunk. Here are 9 of the funniest, most rabak drunk stories.

1. The Cook-Off

"I was casually drinking at a bar with two other friends on a Monday night. We had shared about 3 to 4 bottles of wine and wanted to play pool. There were people there at the pool table (one Caucasian and one Chinese dude) so we went up to them to ask if we could chope the table for the next round. We started chatting with them and ended up playing pool together. It turned out that they were all chefs. In our tipsy state, we decided to bluff them that I was the chef of Din Tai Fung, and I was the one who brought it to Singapore, from Taiwan. The chefs kind of bought that whole idea. We continued talking and ended up in a small debate. One of the chefs said “cool off” but we heard it as “cook off”, and because they lived quite near, we agreed to a cook-off at their place. So my two friends and I stayed to finish our drinks while the other three chefs went to the 24-hour supermarket to get mystery ingredients. We had a cook-off at their place and drank on till past midnight on a Monday night. Also, they knew we weren't chefs but went along with it anyway. Now we are all good friends." – Chels, 25

2. A Jolly Good Christmas

"I was out drinking at a bar with my boyfriend and some girl friends. It was December and the festive mood got us all merry. We had too much to drink and I remember my boyfriend trying to twirl me around as we walked down the stairs. Obviously a super bad idea. I ended up rolling down the stairs, dragging my boyfriend along with me. I remember feeling hurt and sore all over and that there was blood around my face. But what happened after was a blur. I woke up in the hospital the next day, in shock and confusion. After talking to the nurses, I learnt that some kind souls had brought us in to the hospital. Apparently, when I was sent in I was still laughing with blood all around my mouth because I broke my two front teeth, and my boyfriend had torn his ligament in his left leg and had to be warded. Needless to say, our parents weren't pleased at all. My friends were though, as they teased me with, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth," for the rest of December. – Ting, 23

3. Five-Star Experience

"One of my ex-students came up to me at the after party of a friend’s wedding. He proposed a toast and challenged that I won’t be able to finish my drink as fast as he can. My inner feminist and ultra competitive streak came out and… I can’t remember what happened next. My partner had to fill in the blanks. Apparently, I held an audition for the best stripper for my hen’s party (I was getting married) and had half-dressed men give me lap dances. Anyway, I woke up the next morning feeling confused and hung-over. I found a card slipped in from under the hotel room door but didn’t think much of it, just the hotel duty manager asking us to ring them when convenient. When my partner woke up, he told me about how he and his sister had to drag me back to this room because I was dead weight drunk. Apparently, I had also puked red wine all over the carpet. His sister said it literally looked like someone was murdered and dragged along the carpet back to our room. I freaked out at this point. In my mind, I was just panicking about how much the carpet replacement was going to cost. I eventually plucked up the courage to call the front office. Turned out they just wanted to know if we had a good stay and that they would appreciate a feedback on their survey form. I gave them a 5 star rating." – Sheryl, 30

4. Shopping Cart

"I got so drunk from half a bottle of pure gin, my friends had to physically help me to the bus stop. Too intoxicated to give a damn about other commuters, I laid across the seats, taking up the entire last row of seats by myself when we got on the Night Rider bus. My friends had to half-carry, half-drag me off the bus when we reached our stop cause I refused to move. At that point, they were wondering how they were going to carry me all the way home as it was quite a distance away and I was dead weight. They then chanced upon an NTUC shopping cart, dumped me in it, and pushed me home and all the way into my room. I woke up the next morning in my room but still in the cart with my clothes and shoes on." – CJ, 29

5. Many Bad Decisions

"I remember getting smashed and exhausted during my cousin’s birthday party at a nightclub. Yet, I insisted on taking the Night Rider bus home alone. I stumbled into 7-11 to grab a bottle of water before catching the bus. Thank goodness because as expected, the ride was terrible and I threw up into the 7-11 plastic bag three times. In that inebriated state, I wasn’t entirely sure where the bus was headed besides the fact that it would get me somewhere near my home. I decided to get off at the first familiar sight. Then, thinking it would help me sober up, I decided to run home. Terrible decision. When I finally reached the lift lobby of my block after running for 10 minutes, I realised the bus that I was initially on stopped exactly at the bus stop beside my block. (FML) I headed up, opened the door, and placed my wallet, keys and plastic bag, which was untied and filled with my vomit, on my dining table. The vomit ‘erupted’ from the plastic bag and spilt all over the table and floor. I learnt never to bring my vomit home in a plastic bag anymore." – Harry, 29

6. The Very Unfortunate Tumble

"I was casually drinking with a friend of mine and he had a little too much that he could barely walk, let alone stand on his own feet. My cousin and I threw him into a cab and brought his drunken ass back to his house. We spent a good 25 minutes searching for his keys and opening his gate because of the multiple complicated locks. We struggled to carry him up to his room, and were relieved that we didn’t wake his super strict parents up – even after dragging his heavy drunken ass up two flights of stairs and knocking over some family photos. We made our way down the stairs after dumping him in his room. Then when we were just about to step out of the door, the drunkard miraculously appeared at the top of the stairs. He shouted, “I love you guys, you look after me… and I thank you. Come I’ll see ya’ll to my door!” Before we could react, he took a few steps and tumbled down the flight of stairs, pulling several ornaments along with him. Hello parents." – Harry, 29

7. 2 Jugs Of Long Island Tea

"I was at Zouk with a couple of friends and one of them brought his rich friend from Indonesia. This rich kid decided to be a baller that night and started buying everyone drinks. He bought me two jugs of long island tea and back then in my early twenties, getting one more drink on top of my cover charge was a dream. And there I was with TWO jugs of long island tea. Being the smartass I was, I downed the two jugs in 5 minutes. Didn't know what I was thinking back then and what gave me the blind courage to do so. The next 10 minutes or so felt awesome, and then everything began to spin fast, and colours started to chaaaaange. Then, a fight broke out next to me and a group of what seemed like 10 bouncers ran towards me. It might as well have been 10 elephants. It was so intense I fell, met the floor, and got acquainted with it for a while before crawling out the club without saying goodbye to anyone. I somehow managed to get a taxi, crawled into it and also got to know the floor of it on the way home. I could barely even stand straight and had to hold myself up against the wall as I stumbled my way up to my doorstep. Of all places, my hand landed on the freaking doorbell as I stumbled to my doorstep, at 3am. My dad was a no-nonsense kind of man and I can’t remember the last time I sobered up so fast. It was like I forgot I was drunk. And the moment he went back to his room, I ‘returned’ to being drunk, crashed in my bed and dieded." – Aaron, 33

8. Seeing Stars

"I just turned 18 and was celebrating my legal drinking age by, well, drinking. Can't remember exactly how much I drank but I know it was many, many mugs of Baron's strong brew. I felt completely fine but the moment I stood up, that was it. The ‘effect’ kicked in, I felt woozy, and I saw what I remember to be a very attractive lady in a red dress across the street. Something in me told me to chase after her, which I did. I ran across the street, not even checking for traffic, and slammed straight into the green railing that was separating the pavement and the road. I completely didn’t see it (at least not in my mind) and hit my waist against the railing while my head and torso swung over. Next thing I knew I was lying flat on the ground (lucky it was grass) facing the sky, wondering what had happened while admiring the night sky." – Jay, 29

9. Platform 9 ¾

"I was just introduced to sake at a chalet at East coast. Back then at 18, I didn’t know my limits and downed sake bombs like water. Couldn’t really feel the alcohol kicking in until it was too late. I spent the night running into the red brick walls hoping they were platform 9 ¾ (the chalet buildings were red bricks). I also enjoyed air swimming on the tables along East Coast Park." – Daniel, 24

Drink, Drank, Drunk

In all seriousness though, these millennials all agreed that it was a night to remember, not re-live – who wants to wipe their own vomit or face the fury of their parents at 3am right? We don't want to sound like our mothers and fathers, but as we countdown to 2018, remember to drink with caution! Or at least do it with someone you know will stop you from doing really stupid things like fall and break your front teeth, or drink-drive. But if the drunk you do end up doing something damn rabak, share your funny stories with us in the comments! Also read, Stupid Things 10 Singapore Millennials Did When They Were Young And Dumb.

One of the biggest milestones in a relationship is getting married. Leading up to the big day, we all worry about many different things from picking out the most auspicious wedding date to making sure you have the cutest wedding hashtag. And since you will be blowing your bank for that one special day, you will want everything to be perfect. For one, your pre-wedding photos. Instead of splurging to fly overseas for the shoot, why not make your pre-wedding photos extra special by doing something outrageous(ly fun)? Here, we have trawled the web and found some of the most epic, themed pre-wedding photos. Shot by local photographers, these pre-wedding photos may inspire you to up the ante when it comes to your own pre-wedding photo shoots.

1. Funeral – Joel Lim Studios

Image Credit: <a href=" Lim Studios

Morbid as it may seem to some, this couple went ahead to celebrate their love for each other with what they do for a living - funeral services. Their funeral-themed pre-wedding photos sure give a new meaning to the wedding vows “till death do us part”.

2. Police & Thief - One Eye Click

Image Credit: One Eye Click

According to One Eye Click, "the bride and groom are both police officers and met while in the police force. One thing they really loved doing is to poke fun at each other, which was fun to witness."

3. Chemistry - Back Alley Creations by Jootz See

Image Credit: Back Alley Creations by Jootz See

“(I)odine! (Lu)tetium! (V)anadium! and a little bit of (U)ranium! - The special mixture of elements to concoct the chemistry of love between” two Professors!

4. Good Deal - Moomedia

Image Credit: Moomedia

“A girl knows a good deal when she sees one!” Wrap your loved one up like this to make sure you bag that deal!

 5. Jurassic World – Moomedia

Image Credit: Moomedia

“You are safe with me!” Taken in Mongolia where the beauty of Mother Nature is in abundance, this playfully cute photo drew inspiration from our childhood favourite: Jurassic Park.

6. Yogascape – Multifolds Photography

Image Credit: Multifolds Photography

When you have a couple who wants to do something out of the norm and who (we’re assuming) are yogis, what better way to celebrate their union than to capture them in their element - Yoga?

7. Pokemon - Camistry Lab

Image Credit: Camistry Lab

When you find a rare one like her, you have got to catch'em no matter what! Taken during the PokemonGo craze, Camistry Lab thought it will be fun to infuse our childhood favourite in this couple’s pre-wedding photos.

8. Engineer – Renatus Photography | Cinematography

Image Credit: Renatus Photography | Cinematography

As a male engineer, finding your other half can be challenging due to, well, the sheer lack of women in the industry. If you do manage to find love with a female engineer, it only makes sense to immortalise that in your wedding photos. Just remember, safety first!

9. Maple Love Story – Coffee & Tea Dreamzcoffee

Image Credit: <a href=" & Tea Dreamzcoffee via Singapore Brides

He was a 'warrior' and she was a 'priest', and if you've played MapleStory (Maple), you'd know that it is the perfect pair. Having met in the game and partnered up to complement each other in training (for Maple), this couple's 'Maple Story' blossomed into a real-life love story.

10. Beer Company – Raymond Phang Photography

Image Credit: Raymond Phang Photography

Shot by one of the most esteemed photographers in Singapore, Raymond Phang is known for his outrageously creative, conceptualised pre-wedding photos. As is the case for this photo, where the couple went back to the place of their first date and also played on the bride's “interesting encounters” when she takes alcohol.

11. Batman & Catwoman – One Eye Click

Image Credit: <a href=" Eye Click via kaodim blog

Love superheroes and local culture? Why not capture both, like this unique fusion of Batman, Catwoman, and... our local hawker centre.

12. A Very Teochew Wedding – The Peeping Thom

Image Credit: The Peeping Thom

Who says it's not cool to go traditional? Go all out and pay tribute to your roots like this very Teochew couple!

13. Star Wars – The Art of Mezame

Image Credit: The Art Of Mezame via Geek Culture

This Singaporean photographer is known for his style of combining fantasy and reality, creating larger-than-life works of art that resemble movie scenes. Possibly one of the geekiest pre-wedding photos you can find, these photos are truly out-of-this-world. (get it?)

14. Diablo – The Art of Mezame

Image Credit: The Art Of Mezame

Being huge fans of Diablo, the couple engaged someone they knew could turn their vision of being the characters they loved into reality. The results are faultless – think full Crusader and Demon Hunter regalia, complete with shield, mace, and crossbow props, and smoke machines for effect. If you’re wondering how they accomplished this ambitious shoot, check out their behind-the-scenes video.

15. The Last Two Of Us – The Art Of Mezame

Image Credit: The Art Of Mezame

You wouldn’t normally put “zombies” and “wedding” together, but that's exactly what this couple did. In what was described by The Art of Mezame as one of their most fun and satisfying shoots, The Last Two Of Us includes pop culture references such as zombies to carry the theme "Survive till death do us part".

Share The Love!

Planning for a wedding is no walk in the park, but finding the right one to spend the rest of your life with is equally tricky. So when you do, you really should celebrate your love like the way these couples did above. What are some crazy ideas you have planned for your own wedding shoot? Let us know in the comments below. Also read, 12 Things Singapore Couples Do That Singles Buay Tahan. (Header Image Source: Back Alley Creations by Jootz See)

There’s a saying that you should never forget your roots. As millennials, we’re guilty of knowing more about pop culture than our own Singaporean heritage. But knowing our cultural heritage is important because it’s what makes Singapore distinctive in an increasingly globalised world. It also anchors us to our families, our communities and our shared values.

In our journey to go back to our roots, we caught up with 3 millennials who are pursuing their passion for traditional art forms. Here are their stories on disputing generation stereotypes, chasing their dreams, and preserving the invaluable cultural heritage passed down from our forefathers.

ISMAHAIRIE PUTRA ISHAK, 32 – VIOLINIST AND OUDIST

EMBRACING TRADITIONAL MALAY MUSIC

I was first exposed to traditional Malay music when I was a member of the Singapore Malay Orchestra in 1996. I picked up the Oud then. Never expected to fall in love with it, but I did. People are surprised to see me play the Oud because they relate it to traditional music and assume that it’s only played by the older folks. I create original compositions by combining traditional and contemporary elements. It gives me a great sense of satisfaction to show people that music is for everyone, regardless of age, genre, or style.

MAKING A TOUGH DECISION

It wasn’t an easy choice to pursue my passion in Malay music, especially in the early years after my national service. My mum wanted me to sign on to have a stable income with sufficient CPF. I had to assure her that I could do it and that there is a growing market for Malay music in Singapore. There were many sacrifices I had to make, and it’s really tough when I have to give up celebrating festive seasons or family gatherings because of rehearsals.

BELIEVING IN TRADITIONAL ARTS

But I’m glad that I didn’t give up on the dream. I chose to follow my passion for Malay music because I not only believe in my craft, I believe in doing what I love. To me, traditional arts is important because it teaches us important values. It keeps us grounded in our culture, which is rapidly losing its flavour among other influences. Being a traditional musician allows me to stand out.

Today, I am a violinist and an Oudist. In the day, I teach little kids the violin, and by night, I’m a performing musician, promoting my own craft as well as traditional music. I’m in the midst of producing my own instrumental album now and am planning to write a music syllabus for the Oud one day. I want more people to know that playing the Oud is as easy as playing the guitar, and I hope my syllabus will help more people pick up the Oud.

ELIZABETH CHAN, 27 – CHINESE DANCE PRACTITIONER

IT STARTED WHEN SHE WAS THREE

I was three when I saw my mum taking dance classes. I pestered her into letting me join my own Chinese dance classes, which I eventually attended weekly. In secondary school, I joined the Chinese dance club and it was there that I decided I wanted to do Chinese dance professionally. I went on to do a degree in dance at the Hong Kong Academy for Performing Arts (HKAPA), majoring in Chinese Dance.

THE PURSUIT

Just like everything else that matters, pursuing dance is difficult. For me, the hardest part is having to overcome the constant self-doubt and discouraging sentiments from people who don’t understand the practicality of pursuing such an art form. As a growing dancer, you’ll doubt yourself over and over again, especially when there are better dancers out there with better technique and better bodies.

One significant milestone in my journey was when I received the Singapore Hokkien Huay Kuan Arts and Cultural Scholarship in 2010 to pursue a Bachelor’s Degree in Chinese Dance at the HKAPA. I went into dance research and further discovered the beauty of Chinese Dance there. That experience really opened up a whole new world to me.

TRADITIONAL ARTS IS A PART OF US

The arts are about many things, but you can't take the human element out of it. And it’s the same for tradition. These are things that we create for ourselves and our fellow human beings to enjoy, experience, and appreciate life. In today's society where people are constantly scrambling to be the best and chasing after profits, the traditional arts promotes the warmth of our community, and the sensitivity that we need when trying to understand others.

SUSHMA SOMASEKHARAN, 30 – CARNATIC VOCALIST

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW

I started learning Carnatic Music at the age of four. My parents were very fond of it and it was their way of rooting me back to my Indian heritage and culture. Today, I’m a Carnatic Vocalist (South Indian Classical Vocalist). Carnatic music is one of the oldest forms of music from India and is associated with the Southern part of India.

FINDING JOY IN TRADITIONAL ARTS

 

 

People tend to see Carnatic music as a niche art form and I can understand why. Even as a traditional arts practitioner myself, I’m not an aficionado in every other traditional art form out there. But when I listen or watch other art forms, I do it with an open mind and I am prepared to be inspired and pick up something new. And that is what I hope for the public – to see traditional arts with an open mind. Even if the art forms are different from pop culture, there are many beautiful moments which can be experienced if you are open to it.

IMPORTANCE OF THE ARTS

Traditional arts play a huge role in any heritage and culture. I think it is important to acknowledge that what we have today stemmed from the traditional arts. It is the same reason why schools teach History as a subject. We wouldn’t be where we are today without the happenings of the past.

That said, I do wonder if it’s practical for me to pursue Carnatic music every now and then. The emphasis on material success is very apparent in Singapore and it can be daunting to an arts practitioner, especially if we are not getting enough concert opportunities to quantify the time and effort spent on it. Many times I have been asked: “Oh, you’re a singer but wait, what do you do for a full-time job?’’ Such questions can make us doubt ourselves in pursuing the art.

There are moments when I compare myself to my peers and wonder if a full-time corporate life would be better, but I realise that there is truly nothing more satisfying than music for me. It was an important process for me to understand that this is not a fundamental pursuit of money or fame. It is the pursuit of art itself.

SUPPORT TRADITIONAL ARTS!

It’s not common to see the younger generation appreciating something we think only our parents and grandparents would enjoy. But these millennials took a path less travelled and persevered. More than that, they are striving to give our traditional arts scene a new lease of life, so show them some love and support! Find out more about the traditional arts scene in Singapore and check out their upcoming activities and performances <a href=" This article is written in partnership with the National Arts Council.

If you're lucky, you'll meet the guy or girl of your dreams, fall in love with each other and settle down happily ever after without a hitch. But in reality, you will probably fall in love with a couple of ‘wrong people’ before you meet "The One" - at least for most of us. And the journey there will be a perilous one filled with heartbreak and regrets. Whether you're healing from a breakup, single and searching, or in a relationship, here are 8 advice on love and relationships. These millennials made these mistakes in their previous relationships, we hope you don't have to go through what they did. * Some names have been changed for privacy reasons.

“Love Someone For Who They Are”

In my first relationship, I had a whole fantasy of an ideal mate and a version of her in my mind that wasn't her. Because of that, there were expectations, which led to plenty of disappointments. I've learnt that who you envision her to be or what she is in your head isn’t necessarily who she really is in person. I've come to accept and love a person for who they really are. – Andrew, 25

“Don’t Force Yourself To Like What You Don’t Like”

Think for yourself and consider what’s best for you. You don’t have to like a certain thing just because your partner likes it. If your partner loves to game and spends a lot of time gaming but you don’t enjoy it, then don’t do it. Don’t waste time forcing yourself to grow an interest in something you obviously know you have none in. You do you and let him do his. – Mary, 26

“Keep Your Communication Between Each Other Strong”

I was in Poly Year 1 while she was in Sec 4. It was exams period and we assumed that we were both busy so we didn’t text each other as much. On hindsight, we actually had time to talk even if it’s just for awhile. From then on, we talked lesser and lesser and her feelings slowly faded away. I think that to keep a relationship alive, it’s important to keep the communication strong and make an effort to update each other on what's going on in our lives. – Neil, 20

“Don't Lose Yourself”

I always believed in giving my best or not giving at all. I wanted to make her the happiest person in the world so I gave her my all, even at my own expense. She didn't like my secondary school friends so I left them. I learnt that before you be with someone who makes you happy, you should be contented with yourself first. Remember to also love yourself. – Jun Shen, 24

“Fate plays a part”

I've learnt that soulmates are not meant to complete us but to complement us. These relationships are intended to teach lessons so that we evolve and be the catalyst for change in life. You may have met your soul mate or someone you feel a deep connection with but you have to accept that it doesn't necessarily mean you're meant to be together. Sometimes, it's who you meet that has their goals, dreams, and timings aligned with yours. – Chantel, 25

“Pay Attention To Their Actions, Not Their Words”

Someone can say they love you, but if they don't show it or if they physically, mentally or emotionally bully and harm you, that's not love. Also, how a guy talks about their mother is how they're going to treat you in their relationship. If all he has to say about his mother are negative things, you can bet that it's how he's going to talk about you to others. – Natasha, 24

“Forgive Yourself”

I have been cheated on before, cheated on someone before, and got played before. One thing I've learnt from it all is to forgive yourself because everyone makes mistakes. It's hard to say what's right or wrong in relationships, there's always a grey area. Only when you’ve forgiven yourself can you start to let go of any anger or hatred you have, and move on. Move on. There's no point replaying things in your mind wishing you had done this or that because you can't undo anything anymore. When things have already happened, move forward and learn from it. – Ling, 26

“Don’t Let Words Break You”

My ex played the blame game on me and would always guilt trip me into thinking that I was the one who hindered him in things like opportunities to study overseas or enjoying outdoor activities. On the contrary, I had never stopped him from doing what he wanted. His words really affected me, until I found out that he cheated on me and had used all these hurtful comments as excuses to break up with me. If your relationship ended badly, don’t let the words your ex said get to you. Don’t let your ex or other people guilt trip you, and don’t let your insecurities stop you from healing and moving on. – Lydia, 27

Be A Stronger You

Just like how you take away a learning point from a good book or movie, you take a piece of your experience with you as you close a chapter in your (romantic) life. A piece that forms who you are in time to come. Just like these millennials who shared the lessons they’ve learnt from their past relationships, you will grow wiser and stronger. From millennial to millennial, we hope this advice help. And when you’ve grown stronger as a person, you’ll be ready to meet your other half over here. Also read, 8 Confession Stories That Are Like RL Versions Of Taiwanese High School Dramas.

When you have a crush on someone, you think about them 24/7. You'll catch yourself sneaking peeks at them and getting overly-excited whenever they like any of your Instagram photos. But as much as you like them and hope they feel the same way about you too, it can be nerve-racking to think about confessing – what if they reject you? Then again, the only way to go from social media stalker to potential love interest is to just do it – confess and pray for the best. We spoke to our friends on how they’ve confessed to someone they liked, or how they’ve been confessed to. Here’re 8 of the cutest confessions.

1. “He sent my photo back and said, ‘this girl’”

“Back then, we both already knew we liked each other. We were texting regularly and there were many small hints here and there but we just hadn’t confess. When I went to Taiwan for a holiday, I sent him some photos of me as I think he missed me. He replied, "omg I kept staring at the photo and walked into a lamp post". The second time I sent him photos, he said, "wah I keep looking at your photo and I went up to level 4 when I stay at level 3." After that, he tweeted something like ‘miss u’. When I asked him who he misses and who he likes, he sent my photo back and said, “This girl.”” – Jiaqian, 21

2. “Team Captains of the track team’”

“He was the team captain for the boy's track team and I was the team captain for the girl's track team so our peers always joked and tried to ‘stir shit’ about us being together. I liked him since poly year one but he was quite dense and couldn’t tell. We went out on a date once and texted occasionally but it didn’t go further than that. I still had a big crush on him so one night, I told myself that I was going to confess to him no matter. If he said yes, I'll go for ZoukOut to celebrate. And if he rejects me, I'll still go for ZoukOut – to party my woes away. I confessed over the phone and I was nervous AF. He said he appreciated my thoughts and my feelings and that’s it. Then I said, "Great! Thanks for acknowledging, I just wanted to get this off my chest,” then we hung up. Thankfully, he called me back and said that it was so sudden for him but he also likes me. That was 5 years ago. Today, we are married. ” – Vic, 25

3. “He sent me food via ‘homing pigeon’ service”

“We both stay in Yishun. There was once I was feeling a little under the weather and had also casually mentioned that I love ham and cheese sandwiches. He said that he will send a homing pigeon over to my place with ‘the cure’ and we laughed at it as it seemed like a joke. A while later, he told me that the homing pigeon had delivered something to me. I thought he was still joking, until I checked my doorstep and saw the Tupperware of ham and cheese sandwiches and a tube of Redoxen for my sore throat. He cycled to my house just to surprise me with the 'care package'. He didn’t exactly confess per se, but it was kind of a confirmation to me that he likes me.” – Jamie, 26

4. “You are 'my class monitress'”

“We were classmates in Secondary School. Every month, our form teacher would change the class monitor and monitress so more students could experience leading the class. She was my partner-in-crime when we were elected the monitor and monitress for that month. Subconsciously, I started to fall for her when we worked together, but it was only nearing the end of our month when I realise I was going to miss her as more than just friends. We were texting on a friendly basis then, so I texted her that I was going to miss being the class monitor. Then I added that more importantly, that I was so happy she was 'my class monitress'. She said she was very happy that she got to be the monitress with me too, and asked which monitress I thought was the best so far. I said her, and that I wished we could be the moniter and monitress permanently so I could see her and spend more time with her. Good times." - Chong, 28

5. “He baked 'extra' cookies and gave it to me”

“We met through a school camp and have been texting for a while. One day, he told me that he had baked extra cookies and packed some for me. I dropped by an MRT station to pick it up from him on the way home. I thanked him for the free cookies and he patted my head before I walked away – that made me suspect something already. I opened up the package after I left and sure enough, there was a card inside and on it was his confession. I thought it was really sweet, but I only saw him as a friend and nothing more.” – Zhen Ni, 26

6. “He tricked me into giving him my locker combination”

“We were in JC. He asked for my locker combination to borrow a textbook and when I checked my locker afterwards, there was a box of chocolates inside. My first thought was: cool, chocolates. Then I took it and went home, only to realise it was a confession when my friends reminded me that it was Valentine’s Day. I thanked him the next day and gave him a small gift back just to be nice. I made the gift for like 10 people and just decided to make one more for him.” – Sammie, 25

7. “April’s Fool!”

“There was this guy in church who I had a crush on for a long time. I think he liked me too but there was never any proof. We talk once in a while but nothing more. One day, he called me at midnight. When I picked it up, he said, “Esther, I really need to tell you something. I like you.” For a moment, my heart skipped a beat and I was so nervous. Then I heard his friend’s laughter on the line, “April’s Fool!” I texted him later on that day and playfully asked if he was serious and that if he was, I liked him too. The banter went on for a bit before we realised that we liked each other for real.” – Esther, 25

8. “I love you… as a friend”

“We had been best friends for awhile and would even have long conversations on the phone. After a long conversation one night, I texted him, "I love you." Then I added, "as a friend," to save myself from potential embarrassment. I was so nervous the whole night because I didn't know how he would react. In the morning, he replied, “I love you too. You’re like a special friend to me.” That was 8 years ago. We are getting married next year.” – Sally, 25

Tell Them You Like Them!

If you think about it in another way, there’s a 50% chance that they may like you as well. You’ve got nothing to lose anyway because you’re not going to get anywhere if s/he doesn’t know how you feel either. But of course, don’t be a creep. Talk to them and get to know one another a little better before you go on telling them they are The One for you. And if you need some help in meeting or getting to know a potential love interest better, try here! Also read, Then & Now: Photos Of 9 Longtime Singapore Couples That Prove True Love Still Exists.

Being single’s great. You have the freedom to do anything you want, whenever you want.

When all your friends start to get attached and you’re the only one left on the shelf, you tend to notice the ‘coupley things’ they do. More so than ever, these lovey-dovey exchanges between the lovebirds bother you.

As much as you’re sincerely happy for them, there are times you wish you could deck them in the face for behaving as such.

You try not to react to their cheesy banter, but that doesn’t mean you’re comfortable with them cooing at each other in your presence.

It can be hard to tell a friend that they’re being super gross though. So we reached out to our single friends and put together a list of typical things Singapore couples do that annoys them. A list you can use to drop subtle hints on your (cringey) couple friends.

Dear couples, stop:

1. Calling Each Other Cringey Pet Names

It makes us mildly uncomfortable to hear one friend call the other friend ‘dear’, ‘darling’, or even ‘baby’, but we’re still cool with it - we probably just need time to get used to it.

But when you start calling each other “princess”, “dear dear”, or “bii bii” from across the room, it’s tough for us to not cringe.

2. Talking To Your Partner In THAT Voice

We’re just amazed at how someone can talk (and behave) like a dominant leader with us, yet go all soft and talk with the voice of a ‘super kawaii’ anime girl in front of her boyfriend. It's even worse when it's the guy who goes soft in front of his girlfriend.

Don’t act cute leh.

3. The Extreme PDA

Control your hormones, can? Stop. Touching. Each. Other.

It’s super awkward for us when you keep touching, hugging, and playing tongue wrestle while you’re on the train. Or anywhere really, when you’re hanging out with us.

4. Talking About Bae And Relationships ALL The Time

When you bring up your Bae or relationship in every single topic, it makes us feel like you’re subtly showing off your ‘in-love status’ at every opportunity.

We’re not jealous of you, but we wonder if your relationship is all that defines you.

5. Asking Bae For Permission Before Doing ANYTHING

You do not belong to your Bae.

It’s understandable if you’re heading out with people of the opposite sex, but do you really have to ask Bae if you can go for dinner and shopping with your girlfriends - or for the guys, drinks with your buddies? There’s a line between letting Bae know what’s going on in your life and being a puppet y'know.

6. Last Minute Pangseh Us For Bae

It’s annoying enough to have someone fly aeroplane on gatherings that have been planned weeks ago. But it’s even more irritating when you’re ditching us to have dinner with your Bae because s/he's having a bad day.

Priorities.

7. Being Inseparable (And Insufferable)

It’s called a girls/boys night out for a reason. It’s not for us to see you guys flirt with each other at one corner while we have girls/boys talk. 

8. Arguing In Front Of Everyone

We’re all for healthy ‘arguments’ in a relationship, but not when we're supposed to be out having a good time with the group.   

You wouldn’t want to see your parents argue in front of you. Likewise, we don’t want to see you guys screaming at each other over ridiculous disputes while we try to cajole the both of you.

9. Airing Your Dirty Laundry On Social Media

The world has so many things to worry about, and your emo selfies and rants aren’t one.

You’re just making yourself look pitiful by telling everyone that s/he broke your heart, and not in a good way. Your Bae won't be happy to see you air your grievances about her/him online either. 

10. Flaunting Your Love On Social Media

Similarly, please stop flooding your Instagram or Facebook with all your couple selfies. We get that these photos are sweet memories, but it gets annoying when every single post on your feed is of the two of you in embrace.

What’s worse is when they come with captions like how sweet your boyfriend is or how in love you are.

And these cheesy comments: “Baby I love you so much.” “Aww baby, I love you more.”

Guys, can y’all just text each other privately?

11. Planning Couples-Only Activities

Yes, we are a little sad for being the only single one left in the clique. But please stop feeling bad for us because that’s only going to annoy us even further.

Like you guys talking about couple dates, only to go, “oh no, but you’re single, shit I’m so sorry, but it’s okay, you can come too if you want.”

We know that you feel bad. We appreciate that you still consider our feelings. And we really don’t mind being the odd one out in the group. But after the guilt-induced invitation, we also know that we’d be a burden if we do join in.

12. Acting Annoyed When Your Partner Surprises You

This one's mainly for the ladies:

When your boyfriend sends you flowers for no particular reason, don’t go around saying things like, “why he so boliao, waste money on this kind of things,” only to post a photo of it up on Instagram an hour later captioned, “So touched that Baby sent me this.”

Don't Be So Cheesy

There’re still plenty more, but this list pretty much sums up the main bulk of our annoyance. We get that you’re smitten. We love the strong chemistry and bond you guys have, but we'd prefer if you keep’em between the both of you. Spare us.

But if you’re looking for someone to do all these grossly sweet things with you, you can try looking for love here.

How about you? What are some things couples do that annoys you?

Also read, Then & Now: Photos Of 9 Longtime Singapore Couples That Prove True Love Still Exists.

Many of us love coffee. Like the plethora of delicious grub you can find in Singapore, coffee variations are aplenty. With so many cafés and coffee specialty shops around, it comes down to the knowledge and skills of a barista to ensure we get a good cup of java in hand. Regardless of how crazy or ridiculous our requests are, baristas usually rise up to the challenge and do their best to fulfill them. Take for example the Singapore Unicorn Frappe, where a barista re-created a version of its US counterpart as requested by a tourist, and it turned out surprisingly tasty (according to them). While such challenges are fun for baristas, you can be sure that there are also some requests and questions from the other end of the spectrum: the weird ones. We spoke to baristas from 6 popular cafes in Singapore. Here are some of the strangest questions they’ve been asked as a barista.

“Mix Beer With Coffee, And Serve It Hot”

A customer once told us to mix beer with our Oriole coffee and serve it hot. He mentioned it would taste good and recommended for us to try it. Another odd request was to blend butter with our batch brew. Butter is a pretty strong flavour itself so blending it with a brew would change the taste and texture of the drink substantially. One of the trickiest things that we have to handle as a barista is when we have to settle a bill in the midst of calibrating coffee. The coffee calibration process is complex and it’s critical in creating the flavour profile or the perfect shot based on the beans that we have. When we settle a bill in the midst of calibration, we have to restart the whole coffee calibration process to ensure that we retain the exact precision required for maintaining the quality of our coffee. – Siti, Assistant Restaurant Manager of Oriole Coffee + Bar

 “Do You Grow Your Own Beans?”

I once got an order that went like this: “Can I get a latte with teddy bear?” We thought coffee just got more complicated – where were we going to find a teddy bear? But all she wanted was teddy bear latte art. We’ve also gotten requests for Civet poo even though we don’t sell Kopi Luwak. Otherwise, no question is too awkward to ask a barista when you’re buzzed on coffee! The one exception would be to not ask a barista in Singapore whether they grow their own coffee beans. I’ve been asked that before and no, nobody in Singapore grows their own beans. – Abby, Barista at Symmetry

“Can You Mix Half Of This Blend With Half Of That Blend?”

I’ve got a couple of strange requests before. First one would be, “You guys serve 2 espresso blends right? Can you make my latte with half of this blend and half of that blend?” There’re two kinds of espressos: single origins (SO) and blends. Blends (made up of multiple SO coffees) are blended to achieve a specific flavour profile that the café or barista is going for. When you ask for a mix of blends, it defeats the purpose of having those blends that the barista and café want you to try. Essentially, an analogy would be going to Subway and asking to mix Chicken Teriyaki with Meatball Marinara sandwich – which will be a very weird request. Other questions include “can you crack some sea salt into my long black?”, “Is your coffee acidic or alkaline?”, and “Is your coffee good?” – Would a barista or a specialty café say that their coffee isn’t good? – Avin, Chief Caffeine Dealer at Percolate Coffee

“Can I Have Cappuccino With No Foam?”

I’ve been asked for a cappuccino with no foam, and coffee with butter. But the silliest one so far is “why isn’t your coffee as good as Starbucks?” I’ve also been asked to reheat half-drank coffee, which is not advisable mainly because of hygiene purposes. We can’t use the steam wand (which we use for steaming milk) to reheat any coffee. Even if we do, we will literally create another chemical reaction that will make your coffee taste burnt. It’s not advisable to use the microwave as well, as there could be accidents. On another incident, we had a customer who sent the coffee back a few times because it tasted too sweet for her. However, no sugar was added to the coffee at all. The sweetness came naturally from the beans. So that was something we had to manage in terms of customers’ expectation. Like many misinformed customers, she had the impression that coffee only tastes bitter. She didn’t expect that coffee can also be naturally sweet, acidic, or fruity. After a one-to-one ‘coffee education’ session with her, she was really happy to get the same cup of coffee she returned. – Lucky Salvador, Head Barista Trainer at Common Man Coffee Roasters

“Hi, Do You Serve Non-Coffee Coffee?”

It took me awhile to realise the customer meant decaf. I’ve not gotten too crazy a request so far. I’ve been asked if savoury, flavoured lattes exist but that’s about it. Thinking back, an unforgettable experience I had was with this particular customer who thought our coffee was a gimmick. He had ordered a single shot latte, and then later came up to talk to me about how he thought our coffee is a gimmick because he couldn’t taste or smell the coffee at all. He later went on to pee all over our toilet – literally all over the walls, sinks, everything. Personally, I don’t really think there are questions that you should never ask a barista. I like to share and talk to customers about coffee. However, you will be hard pressed to find specialty coffee stores that will serve coffee with butter. – Kenneth, Chief Alchemist at Compound Coffee

"Is Pour Over Coffee A Coffee?"

I’ve received a couple of weird requests over my course as a Barista. There was the 10 shot Venti Caramel Machiatto order (which is a lot of caffeine within that serving of machiatto), and another one where the customer handed me a container of freshly minced ginger to add into her latte. While I welcome customers to ask me anything, there were questions like “is pour over coffee a coffee?” And yes, it is coffee. – Shaun, Head Trainer at Bettr Barista Coffee Academy

Catch Them At Singapore Coffee Festival 2017

Now that you’ve heard from the baristas, catch them in action at the Singapore Coffee Festival 2017! They’ll be part of over 100 different exhibitors ranging from Singapore’s most loved cafes to pioneering coffee players around the world. We guarantee that you’ll be spoilt for choice!

You could also take the chance to pick up some goodies like socially conscious coffee, organic snacks, and all natural skincare products from The Good Market. One of the highlights of SCF 2017, The Good Market, brought to you by DBS, features seven social enterprises that will be showcasing and selling their wares. Do good for our planet and communities in need as you delve into the café culture and shop there!

Make your SCF experience an even more memorable (and meaningful) one and take on the “Live Kind” Passport challenge! Collect stamps when you complete easy and fun tasks in this sustainable living challenge brought to you by DBS, and earn yourself a free cup of coffee. Register here: https://www.asiaforgood.com/webform/live-kind-dbs.

Singapore Coffee Festival 2017 Date: 3 August – 6 August 2017 (Thurs – Sun) Venue: Marina Bay Cruise Centre Tickets: $18 to $22 Tickets are available at the Singapore Coffee Festival website <a href=" This article is written in collaboration with DBS Bank.

We used to think that once you pass a certain mark, like 2 or 3 years into a relationship, it will last forever. But in a time where things like work (or DOTA) can take precedence over replying a text message from our other half, it can be tough to maintain a relationship. We realised how common it is for relationships to fail despite the years. Just within our social circles, we've friends who had to abruptly close a major chapter of their love life – just like that, 6, 8, and even 9 year’s worth of time can become nothing more than just bittersweet memories. It made us wonder: can a relationship really last in this era? We sought out to find the answers, and we found them in photos of our longtime couple friends. Here are the photos that captured the essence of love and growth, of when they first started dating compared to them today.

"We Treasure The Smallest Things"

Nicholas & Jasmine – 9 Years Together The biggest "challenge" has to be keeping the relationship and romance going and constantly nurturing it, as it is easy to get so used to each other that we take things for granted. The smallest and simplest things in relationships that get overlooked are often the main reasons for deteriorating relationships. We both do our best to make sure we are aware of this and we treasure one another. Communication is something we both hold dearly as our foundation. We're able to be honest with our feelings and come to an understanding to resolve problems together. The smallest actions like kisses and hugs count too. Or showing appreciation by making each other our favourite drinks, or watching our favourite movie when either of us feels down make a difference.

"He's Always The Bigger Person, And She's Appreciative"

Samantha & Jeremy – 7 Years Together To Samantha, a big part of keeping the relationship going is because of him: “He's so gracious, patient and accepting of my shortcomings; especially my possessiveness and temper. If I dated myself, I would have dumped my ass a long time ago.” When there are unhappiness and quarrels, it's very difficult to come to a compromise. It’s difficult to find a solution and makeup when both of us are upset. We both know it and he’s usually the bigger person who puts emotions aside and initiate for us to make up.

"We Trust Each Other, And Never Carry An Argument Overnight"

Cherie & Shao Yong – 6 Years Together If we can wrap up the essence of our relationship, it is trust and communication. On trust: we don’t give each other any reason to doubt. We are completely transparent with each other and this builds up the robust level of trust we have in each other. We are comfortable enough to not interfere or restrict each other's own social life too. On communication: whenever don’t meet, we make it a point to still call each other every night to talk about our day or even just to say goodnight. Whenever we argue, we make sure that we only move on after we have accepted each other’s feelings and made peace with it. We never carry an argument overnight.

"It's Normal For Us To Fight, But We Forgive And Move On"

Matthew & Li Ying – 4.5 Years Together Throughout the years, we've learnt to deal with each other's annoying habits. For example, I have learnt to deal with Li Ying being a grammar Nazi and correcting mistakes mid-sentence, while she has learnt to wait for me to take the perfect photo of food before we can eat. So there’s a lot of acceptance, patience, and understanding. It’s normal for us to fight a lot, but at the same time, there is a lot of forgiveness in our relationship.

"We Choose To Love Each Other Even When We 'Hate' Each Other"

Mieko & CJ – 8 Years Together The fact that we have been together since he was 20 and I, 16, we've gone through so many milestones together: studies, NS, work, and eventually the unexpected appearance of baby Dayna. We definitely have had many arguments and major fights, and it resulted in a lot of heartbreak. We can’t specifically pinpoint any particular reason or factor that kept us going through it all. However, it truly boils down to loving each other the 'right' way – being able to love each other even when you ‘hate’ each other. Love is a choice, and choosing to love someone is not easy. It's a choice we make every day, through thick and thin.

"Two Headstrong Personalities, But We Compromise"

Ryan & Jia Yi – 8 Years Together Honesty and compromise play a big part in our relationship. We are both very headstrong personalities and if we hadn't made conscious efforts to compromise with each other, we honestly wouldn't have made it this far. Also, one of the major hurdles we had (and I'm sure many couples have) was the assumption that the other party would automatically understand our needs and desires. We're not mind-readers and we’ve learnt to make efforts to tell each other why we're upset instead of just begrudging each other for not "getting it".

"We Stay Cheesy With Verbal Compliments"

Pat & John – 9 Years Together Just like other couples, we've been through many milestones together. Completing NS, buying a house, proposal, and wedding planning are just some. But one of the biggest challenges for us was riding the waves of my (Pat's) anxiety issues together. Throughout my darkest times, John stuck by me. He fought along with me, and for me. One of our common love languages is words of affirmation. Verbal compliments and appreciation can go a long way, and after dating for 9 years, we're still cheesy as ever.

"We Laugh At Each Other, And We Laugh Together"

Celine & Ivan – 4 Years Together There's a lot of love and patience between us. We understand each other’s personalities and accommodate not just to each other but also our families. We do silly things together, laugh at each other and laugh together. We learn together and grow together as individuals and also as a couple.

"We Address Our Problems As Best Friends And Lovers"

Shane and Nikki – 18 Years Together We’ve gone through so much together from secondary school and university to surviving army days. We’ve gotten married and built up our first home, and now, celebrating the birth of our first child. We've always been best friends so our friendship laid a strong foundation for the relationship, and we are able to communicate really well with one another on so many grounds. It’s important and helps us address our problems together instead of running away from them.

Keep The Faith Alive

Granted, love isn’t just rainbows and butterflies. While it takes a large amount of effort and work to sustain a relationship, these couples have proven that it still is possible. And the benefits you reap from a happy, lasting relationship is worth every fight for. On the other hand, if you’re searching for someone to fight alongside you on your life journey, you can try your luck <a href=" Also read, These 15 Married Couples’ Wedding Hashtags Are 1000X Better Than Yours.

As we edge into our twenties, we begin to accept the fact that we are really no longer kids. Most of us would be either completing our studies or building up a career. It’s scary to even think of having a baby ourselves. Being a parent is no easy feat. It's even tougher when you're young and hadn't planned to be one yet. We often hear about the trials and tribulations from girls who went through teenage pregnancy, or from being a young mother. However, rarely do we get to hear from the dads who’ve stuck by the ladies through such situations. This Father’s Day, we reached out to 29-year-old Charles John (CJ). This is his story of being a young father to a child out of wedlock.

Getting 'Caught In A Situation'

Back then, I had been dating my girlfriend, Mieko, for 2 years. We both used to smoke and drink a lot, but one day she just couldn’t stand the smell of smoke anymore. That was when we suspected that she could be pregnant. Furthermore, she had missed her period for one and a half months. It was only after a pregnancy test kit from 7-11 and a visit to polyclinic later that our suspicions were confirmed. Mieko was pregnant. I was going to be a father.

Her Parents Gave An Ultimatum

I was shocked, of course. A part of me was in panic mode because we were young and not married. But at the same time, I was happy and excited that we were going to have our own flesh and blood. We didn't have big doubts on keeping the baby because we felt it was only right to, but our parents didn’t take it very well. When Mieko told her parents, they gave her an ultimatum to abort the baby or be thrown out of the house. We both struggled with the decision to abort after that. But after seeing the first ultrasound at the hospital – we just couldn’t bear to abort. Even after Mieko told her parents, I struggled to break the news to mine. Mieko eventually texted my mother about it and my mother was shocked. She reasoned that life would be difficult as we were financially very unstable. To add on to the stress we were facing, she is also a practicing Catholic so she wanted Mieko and I to get married before our baby was born. However, Mieko was only 18 and considered a minor so she needed consent from her parents for marriage. Her parents did not approve since Mieko was still very young. We eventually waited till she was 21 and got married.

Harsh Realities

Mieko was only 18 then and working part-time while doing her diploma. I was 22 and just started my first full-time job at Keppel shipyard. Reality hit that we weren’t financially stable to support ourselves, much less bring a child up. My worries were mainly the financial aspects, but this can be worked on. On the negative thoughts people may have of me, I think nobody dared to say negative things to me directly. But I can’t deny that there were sentiments that bothered me slightly. I just ignored it and concentrated on our happiness.

Making The Decision

Despite everything, Mieko and I decided to keep the baby. We are Roman Catholics and it is against our religion to abort a baby because we believe that every child is a gift from God. We also felt that this would be a new and interesting chapter of our lives together that will better us in our lifestyles, making us more responsible adults.

No Longer Young And Wild

There were definitely many things that we had to change. Before, we would spend freely without thinking. I’d spend a lot on things like cigarettes and alcohol, and go clubbing every week. When Dayna happened, I stayed home more often so I could save more money. I told myself that I’d never allow myself to go ‘bankrupt’ ever again. We've been thriftier. We don’t go clubbing often anymore. Even when we do, it’s probably once in a few months. Our entire paycheck now goes towards daily necessities, bills, and our kids. Compared to our younger, wilder days, we now meet up with friends over meals or they would come over to our place. We’d just chill at night after the girls have gone to sleep and maybe have a few drinks to relax. As a person, I became much more patient. Instead of letting my temper get the better of me, I’ve learnt to take a breath and keep my cool.

Being A Father Is Rewarding

Becoming a father in an unplanned pregnancy and before marriage has its challenges. There were many things that I had to change – it’s no longer a care-free lifestyle where I can do whatever I wanted. If my baby girls cried for food in the middle of the night, I'd wake up to feed them. My priority is now my girls. And it’s all worth it when I see them smiling and laughing back at me. As a father, that’s also the most rewarding part – to see your children happy.

Don’t Regret Your Decisions

If there are friends who find themselves in the same position as I was, I’d say, “Whatever it is, if you have a strong feeling on a decision and feel that it’s right, just go for it. Don’t follow people’s decisions and regret on it later.” Also read These 14 Heartwarming Stories Show That A Mother’s Love Is Like No Other.