Growing up, us millennials have been labelled many things, reckless, fortunate, social media slaves and even avocado toast connoisseur, but I draw the line at phrases such as nonchalant, carefree and entitled. From worrying about the ever-rising cost of living to striving for a more #woke and inclusive society, we have a lot more on our plates than just romance related problems and Instagram-spawned rainbow food. Determined to dispute the reputation that millennials have ‘earned’, I’ve decided to ask 15 millennials what their greatest fear are. And no, FOMO isn’t on the list.

1. Not having enough money

My greatest fear is not having enough money to support myself. Without money, I wouldn’t be able to afford basic necessities like food and water. Even public transport will be inaccessible for me. Plus, I don’t like to rely on other people. If I have no money, I’ll have to go around borrowing money from others and I personally hate doing so. - Melissa, 27

2. Not living up to expectations

Since young, many people have told me that they see a lot of potential in me. Be it doctor, lawyer, or a successful businessman, they are convinced that I’m going to do great things. Because of that, I’m always fearful that I’m not going to reach that level of potential that they’ve set out for me. Thus, I always push myself to work hard everyday so that I’ll be able to match up to their expectations of me. - Daniel, 26

3. Settling for an unfulfilled life

In Singapore, a lot of emphasis is placed on financial success. My parents want me to have a corporate job so that I’ll be financially stable, but that’s not where my passion lies. So I made a promise to myself to ‘sell out’ and settle for something else instead of chasing after my passion. - Edirina, 20

4. Losing my loved ones

As a mother of two, family means a great deal to me. I had my first child when I was just 19 and it has taught me so much about love, patience, family and compromise. I’m really grateful for my parents, my husband, and my two little girls. I can’t imagine life without any of my loved ones. - Esther, 26

5. Getting kicked out of home for coming out

As with most asian families, my mom is conservative and fierce (aka tiger mom). As much as I love her and am thankful for her bringing me up all these years, I’m afraid of coming out to my family as I don’t want to risk getting kicked out. I’m not sure that their love for me will be able to overpower the disdain they have towards more liberal ideas. - Scott, 25

6. Self-imposed Inadequacy

My parents are super chill and they let me do whatever I deem fit. Because of that, I’ve always had really high expectations of myself as I feel that if I don’t take control of my own life, no one will. Further fueled by my own insecurities, the thought of being inadequate in any sense, be it at work or life in general, just doesn’t sit well with me. - Zul, 24

7. Being judged

Back in primary school, I was always afraid of getting called to answer a question in class as I was afraid that if I get the answer wrong, people would laugh at me and make nasty comments about me behind my back. I would get anxious easily and sometimes, that stops me from doing the things that I like. Because of my anxiety, I would always be afraid that people are judging me, even if they aren’t. - Anna, 25

8. Not going to heaven

Whether you’re religious or not, I’m pretty sure that you know what Hell is about: basically, a lifetime of torture. I wouldn’t want to end up going to Hell because I don’t want to suffer and be tortured for the rest of my life. I can’t even handle life, how am I supposed to handle Hell?! In my religion, we believe that Heaven is a really great place to be at. So I want to end up there when I die and just enjoy. - Matthew, 21

9. Losing my arms

I’m a designer and an avid gymmer so my physical body parts mean alot to me. Thus, I would say that my greatest fear is losing my arms as that will mean that I can’t do the things that I like anymore. I can’t imagine living life without designing, drawing, painting, and weightlifting. - Jan, 26

10. Death

I fear death as it means that the whole world will continue to go on without me after I’ve passed and I’ll be non-existent and slowly forgotten. I also fear the unknown. None of us truly knows what is going to happen after we’re dead, and that scares me. - Shi Ling, 27

11. Dying alone

I’m a romantic. I believe in ‘The One’ and I yearn to meet someone whom I’m able to connect with on all wavelengths. So I’d say my greatest fear is not being able to find someone that can stimulate me both intellectually and emotionally and I’ll die alone, with nobody to love and no one to love me back. - Mabel, 22

12. Never being able to love myself

As a child, I was overweight and ugly. I would get picked on by my peers and my parents would make insensitive comments about my appearance. I wasn’t taught how to love myself and I grew to be my own worst critic. Till now, I struggle with low self-love and I can’t seem to be comfortable in my own skin. I guess my greatest fear would be that I will never be able to learn to love myself for who I am till the day I die. - Alethea, 21

13. Losing control of myself

Not having control over my own life and decisions, be it consciously or physically. Maybe I’ve been watching too much ‘Black Mirror’ but I imagine not being able to control my own thoughts or actions and that’s so scary! - Alanna, 22

14. Being the same as everyone else

As I grew up in a family where sibling rivalry is ever present, I always pride myself in being different from my sister so that my parents wouldn’t compare us as much. I think that led me to always strive to be different from everyone else. - Melodie, 20

15. Not being able to make it

It’s very competitive in the Arts industry so I’m always pushing myself to learn more and create things that are fresh and unique. I really want to be an Artist and I can’t foresee myself doing anything else, so my greatest fear would be not succeeding in the field that I’m passionate about. - Karen, 20

Not Just Young And Nonchalent

After speaking with these millennials, I realised that many of us have very practical concerns. Most of us just tend to keep our concerns to ourselves as we’re afraid that our worries will be deemed insignificant because of our young age. But that shouldn’t matter. Be it age 18 or 35, we’ve all got our own set of worries and problems that we have to deal with. We might be young and throwing around phrases like YOLO and ‘live fast, die young’ but our worries don’t just consist the common irrational fears and superficial wants, many of them stemmed from our upbringing and culture. So here’s the age-old question I’m throwing back at you, what’s your greatest fear and how do you deal with it? Share with us in the comments below! Also read, 8 Singaporeans Shared Snapshots Of What Depression Was Like For Them.

When you’re in a long-term relationship, it can feel like there’s nowhere to go in Singapore for dates anymore. You’ve done movies, dinner, picnics, touristy places like USS and the Zoo, and you’ve walked the Orchard to Dhoby Ghaut stretch so many times you can tell when a new shop pops up. Going out for dates even feels like a chore sometimes. We spoke to 8 Singaporean millennial couples to see how they deal with (the burden of) planning dates. Hopefully, their dating habits inspire you in keeping it fresh for your relationship!

1. Jacky & Li Ru, Together for 2 months

How often do you guys go on dates? Once a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We go on food hunts and movie dates. We signed up for GuavaPass so we’ll go on weekly exercise dates too. We also had a fun gaming outing where we played PS4 recently. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We’ll just meet, eat, and walk around where we eat at. Sometimes, you don’t have to have a "destination" in mind, it's the company. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? The company. - Jacky

2. Zafirah & Farhan, Together for 6 months

How often do you guys go on dates? We meet each other about 2 to 3 times a week, depending on our schedules. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We usually just eat. We like to explore new makan places that we saw on Facebook or if there's any good food deals. Besides eating, we like to walk around or find a spot to sit and talk. Or watch movies, go bowling, and most recently, sing karaoke! What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We’ll just park the car somewhere and talk while listening to music. I actually enjoy spending time like this. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Honestly it's not about where you go or what you do, but the person you're with. if you're with good company, you're guaranteed a good time. It’s also important for us to be 100% present on dates instead of fiddling with our phones. - Zafirah

3. Justinn & Danessa, Together for 8 months

How often do you guys go on dates? Almost everyday. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We go thrift shopping and movies or eat. Otherwise we just stay home and chill. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? Stay at home or spend time with each other’s family, or find our friends to hangout together. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Just being with each other. - Justinn

4. Alanna & Kar Liang, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? If you mean how often we meet up or go out, one or two times a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? When we meet on weekends we will plan our day around a place we want to eat at, or something we want to see or need to buy. If there are any good movies, we'll watch it. When we don't feel like doing much, we just go out for a relaxing cup of coffee. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We’ll list out as many ideas as we can and then narrow them down until we decide on something. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Taking turns to do things that your partner wants to do, and being comfortable to just do nothing together sometimes! - Alanna

5. Daniel & Natasha, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? Not as often as when we first started dating, but we do make an effort to go out once in awhile. Maybe once or twice a month. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? I like to plan surprise dates for her occasionally, just because I know she loves that. It’ll usually be a nice restaurant because we eat cheap normally, so it’s like a treat. On a more regular basis, we’ll either catch a movie or check out an exhibition at the gallery or museum. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? I’m quite a “cheapo” so sometimes when we have no idea what to do, I’ll check discount apps or find 1-for-1 deals to help pick out a restaurant. There are other apps or websites too that help recommend date ideas. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? I think the most important is that we both enjoy doing things that both of us can appreciate together. Of course, we enjoy each other’s company as well! - Daniel

6. Melissa & Andy, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? We date occasionally since both of us are really busy, but weekend hangouts are a must. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? Dates are always food-fuelled. Besides that, it’s movies and window shopping. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We do stay-home dates since it's all about spending time together. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Definitely the company. It can be a trip to some kopitiam but the experience will still be great for the both of us. - Melissa

7. Marie & Leslie, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? At least once a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We usually watch movies or bring my nephew out to places like the goat farm, frog farm or neighbourhood playgrounds. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We usually meet our friends to play board games, PS4, or workout together. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? FOOD!! - Marie

8. Anmol & Wayne, Together for 4 years

How often do you guys go on dates? Twice a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? It'll just be dinner on a weekday. On a weekend, we’ll usually catch a movie or window shop in town. We'll go for events or carnivals if there are but we won't spend, we just like to see stuff. We’ll also catch the free performances at Esplanade outdoor theatre sometimes. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We usually wait until the last minute and someone will end up suggesting something after Googling. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Spending quality time and catching up on things that happened in the week. It's a bonus if we get to do something or go somewhere new. - Anmol

9. Victoria & Beng Kiong, Together for 6.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? About once or twice a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? When we first started dating, we would go on 'running' dates at MacRitchie because we knew each other from Track & Field. These days, just having dinner at a nice restaurant is good enough for us. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We keep suggesting things until we can agree on something. Otherwise, we usually head to the nearest park for a walk like what your grandfather and grandmother would do on Sunday mornings. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? I think we're lucky to share many common interests despite our contrasting personalities. It does get boring after doing the same thing for so many years so trying new things is important. For example, I was introduced to bouldering by a friend and I thought it was fun, so I roped him in to try it with me. - Victoria

It’s Not The Place, It’s The Person

Instead of lamenting how there’s nothing to do in our tiny island, make it fun for yourself and your partner in your own ways! As these 3 other couples shared in our earlier video, there’s always new things and events that are happening around Singapore. https://www.facebook.com/millennialsofsingapore/videos/902216563273095/ And on days where you really have no idea what to do, just Google. There are a ton of suggestions online, like this listicle on 100 Best Things to do in Singapore. Step out of your comfort zone and try new stuff! Who knows, you might stumble upon a new favourite hangout or even a new hobby that both of you can enjoy together. Also read, 12 Things Singapore Couples Do That Singles Buay Tahan.

The only wild cats one should be patting are the strays roaming our HDB blocks in Singapore. Definitely not the big cats at wildlife parks. But one tourist decided it was a good idea to reach out of his safari vehicle to pat a lion, proving once again the stupidity of mankind.

The tourist was lucky enough to have left unharmed because the lion was – I presume from David Attenborough’s narration on the many wildlife documentaries I’ve watch – not in the mood to hunt. The lion "would have the power to pull that tourist straight out of that window and kill him instantly in front of his friends, " South African safari ranger Naas Smit said to British Newspaper The Sun. One would think that the many safari park incidents and deaths that have happened would deter anyone else from making the same mistake of leaving the safety of their vehicle, even if it's just sticking their hand out the window. Apparently, human evolution hasn’t progressed for the better. I’m not even going to get started on all those people who fell to their deaths from taking selfies or other freak accidents (like accidentally locking your children in a car for hours). At this point, I’ve gone from feeling sorry for the victims and the family to feeling exasperated at such illogical behaviour by my own species and being convinced that this is just natural selection in action. What’s worse is when people glamourise playing with danger, like parkour artists that scale tall buildings and pose precariously for the ‘gram. Or <a href=" man who teased an alligator with a fish while in a blow-up T-Rex costume.

He may be a park ranger and the alligator a well-trained reptile but that’s far from the point. It also doesn’t matter that the park ranger was “making (the alligator) 'work for his food' because he had gotten 'chunky'”. The stunt may have been well-intentioned but brushing it away as something that’s not a big deal sets a dangerous precedence of such behaviour as acceptable and entertaining. And the park ranger succeeding in the stunt without getting attacked may convince other untrained daredevils to attempt such risky acts themselves. What more, these creatures still have innate animal instincts. Even with experienced trainers and presumably well-trained animals familiar with human interaction, accidents could happen. How many victims must die before people learn to not 'play play' when dealing with animals? SeaWorld’s orca Tilikum and his trainer was one prominent case in 2017. Another horrific incident involved a Thai zookeeper who placed his head inside a crocodile’s mouth during a live crocodile show, only to have the crocodile snap its jaws shut on his head.

Are all these really worth it in the name of entertainment? Then, there are those who implicate others because of their own recklessness. Take a fairly recent incident at a Safari Park in Netherlands for example. A family of what looks like three adults and two children left their car to get a closer look at the cheetahs. Another visitor in a nearby car captured the footage of them running away from the coalition of cheetahs when the cheetahs started stalking them. Warning: Video contains content that some may find too disturbing. Watch at your own discretion.

My heart raced when I saw the cheetahs bounding towards the child – ‘that’s it, bye bye,’ I thought. What followed was anger. I was mad at the parents for letting curiosity get the better of them and for even considering putting their children’s lives on the line. One pounce and their baby could be gone, just like that. Then again, they probably hadn’t fathomed that grim possibility, considering that they had let their children walk around amidst the cheetahs like they were at a city park.

Let's not forget <a href=" incident, who was killed to ensure the safety of a boy, all because one mother got distracted. <a href=" family at an animal park in Beijing wasn’t as fortunate. In 2016, a woman was attacked by a tiger when she left the car after an argument with her husband. She survived with serious injuries, but her mum died trying to save her. Warning: Video contains content that some may find too disturbing. Watch at your own discretion.

As much as I sympathise with the victims and their family, such acts are stupid and incredibly selfish. At the core of it, many of the victims were risking everything just to experience the thrill of getting up close with such predatory animals. Not only do the victim or their family suffer, these acts affect the animals, the respective zoo or park and its staff. If there is one thing I learnt from Jurassic Park, it’s that you don’t want to mess with creatures that are faster, stronger, or which are naturally deadlier than you are, especially when you’re in a confined area with them. Some rules are designed to keep you safe, not to be broken. I have nothing against these safari parks of course. I love animals and am all for the conservation and education efforts. But if humans are not capable of following simple instructions or having basic survival instincts, maybe we shouldn’t have such potentially-fatal leisure activities. With common sense apparently not common enough in our kind, perhaps what we need are terrifying videos of all those past incidents to be played to visitors as part of the safety briefing. And if that still doesn’t work, maybe people need to be forcefully locked in their car, in some sort of advanced safari vehicle that has locks that can only be remotely controlled by park rangers. With technology and driverless cars today, why not, right? Or maybe, we should just let natural selection take its course. Also read, Just Because You’re A Millennial Doesn’t Mean You’re Immune To Fake News. (Header Image Credit: Out Of Africa Wildlife Park)

It’s hard not to think of music festivals without conjuring the image of Coachella-esque fashion, booze and hundreds of people dancing sultrily to the music. This year’s Ultra Music Festival is no exception. While guys flaunt their #ULTRAReady bods in their unbuttoned floral Zara shirts and Bermudas, the girls were rocking crop tops and rompers with their hair done up in Chun-Li inspired buns or two-sided braids. The EDM festival also saw ridiculous amounts of bandanas and body glitter, to the extent that they are probably sold out islandwide due to the excessive demand. Held at an extensive (and muddy) open field with last year’s Ultra gathering over 45,000 party-goers, it's understandable why most of us wouldn't show up in jeans, hoodies, or evening dresses to a music festival. Some, however, disagree and expressed their disdain towards the fashion choices made by the girls who attended Ultra. With over a thousand retweets, it seems that many shared the same sentiment as Twitter user A. Now, before any of you decide to call me out for it, let it be known that I’m guilty of wearing the aforementioned “Chinese girl uniform”. She’s not wrong, this formula seems to be copied and pasted onto the other thousands of people at Ultra, making my life a rerun of Fashion Police episodes where my friends would poke fun at me by constantly asking “who wore it better?” whenever they spotted other girls wearing the same outfit as me: a $15 black lace bralette top from TEMT. Weirdly enough, even after all my run-ins with my fashion clones, never once have I shared A’s stance on the girls’ fashion at Ultra. In fact, her statement brings to light an even greater issue that precedes poor fashion choices: an epidemic that is girl-on-girl hate. A manifestation of internalised misogyny, girl-on-girl hate is prevalent in most of our daily lives. Whether we're aware of it, it’s present in the way we dole out snarky remarks about other women’s behaviour or dressing and comment things like “I’m not like other girls”, or “girls are so dramatic, I prefer hanging out with guys,” mostly to receive validation from or fit in with men. A relevant example would be the fairly recent sex tapes leak of a few local influencers. A trending topic among Singaporeans, males and females alike, people were bursting at the seams with unfounded criticism. What shocked me the most was when a female friend of mine commented that the victim of the leaked private tapes is a “stupid slut” for filming a personal video with her long-time partner whom she’s in a committed relationship with. Not only that, she prides on coming up with countless derogatory comments aimed at influencers who are empowered by a more risqué dressing style.  Similarly, I can’t help but see A’s comments on the girls’ outfits at Ultra as seemingly laced with internalised misogyny. It’s important to note that us girls aren’t the only ones who had a template like dress code at the festival. The guys present had on a “uniform” too: beach shorts paired with muscle tanks and/or tropical button up shirts, although most would end up shirtless by the end of a set anyway. Yet us girls were the ones mainly subjected to the criticism, and therein lies the problem. Should Twitter user A’s main concern be based solely on the fashion choices made at Ultra, my reply to that is simple: it’s a music festival, chill out. First and foremost, It’s safe to say that everyone’s main objective for the 2-day event is to enjoy the music and have a good time. It doesn’t matter what we’re wearing as long as it’s comfortable and able to withstand the nine hours of heat, sweat, bustle, and the inescapable body contact with the crowd. For some, a comfortable party outfit could be a unicorn onesie (you do you!), but for others, lingerie and crop tops fit the bill. Unlike the usual happy hour and ladies night at Clarke Quay, Ultra or any other music festivals, for instance, is not an everyday occurrence. Undoubtedly, many of us revel in the hours spent prepping ourselves up for the occasion. As with all night outs, we want to look alluring and feel confident. Some do so with minimal clothing while some dress up to the nines. It’s a once in a year (or lifetime for some) event and we shouldn’t bash someone up for the outfits that they wear, or the lack of it. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to understand why people are being so uptight over one’s outfit of choice at Ultra. Personally, I’m of the viewpoint that the “Chinese girl uniform” I wore to Ultra can easily be worn at Good Vibes Festival or even ZoukOut. Simply because it’s something I feel comfortable and confident in. Even Ultra Singapore First Timer's Guide urges us to simply wear "comfortable clothing and shoes", so unless there’s a specific dress code for each music festival, I don’t get why we can’t dress however we want.  Bottom line is we’re here to party, not to be critiqued for what we decide to wear to a music festival. Sure, some of us might dress like your typical influencers in our bikini tops and summer shorts or even #doitforthegram but why are we nitpicking over such minute details? As long as our outfits aren’t culturally offensive (read: Native American headdress, bindi, cornrows etc), then it shouldn’t matter that we’re clones of one another in our glitter-coated bodies and double xiao long bao hair. Life’s too short to dwell on such inconsequential things. At the end of the day, music festivals are meant for us to rave and have a good time, so let’s do just that. Also read, This Is Why Wearing Heels Is Empowering And F*cking Sexy.

As a twenty-year-old who is still trying to figure out one’s self, personal identity is of great significance to me. So much so that if you were to offer me $10,000 to be stripped of my freedom to dress however I like and hold my own opinions, I would still opt to be broke and conferring with my friends over a drink or two. No doubt, growing up in an age when phrases like YOLO and Carpe Diem make up our life mantra, there is an immense pressure placed on us to be exceptional. As a result, throughout my formative years, I was exhausting tubs of Directions Hair Colour, frequenting gigs, writing Lang Leav-esque poetry and purchasing merchandise from my favourite bands to emphasise and showcase my individuality. I held the belief that if I don’t have an original identity that stands out from the rest, I’m just another one of many average beings who’s mediocre at best. However, as much as I strive to be a unique individual, I’ve realised that there have been aspects of me that were influenced by the things I consume. The tattoos that I have etched on my skin are inspired by a Roman à clef book and a song from one of my favourite bands. My then blue hair was a result of worshipping at the altar of emo vocalists such as Hayley Williams and Alex Gaskarth. My style, too, changes on a day-to-day basis depending on who’s my latest style inspiration. Whether we dare to admit it, we are all just a compilation of everything we’ve ever fixated on – it could be someone’s hair colour on Instagram, an opinionated piece from the deep web, a TV series or even a character from a book. Take my colleagues for instance. As fans of the police-centred sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine, I find that many of them adopt the main lead Jake Peralta’s way of dealing with awkward situations, which is the repetitive use of the word “cool” or “no doubt” while nodding with a plastered smile. They identify with the TV series so much that the character’s quirks get incorporated into their personal identity. The same goes for K-Pop fans, film geeks, fitness enthusiasts and so forth. After all, parts of our identity can be ascribed to our environment and the content we consume. No one’s identity is free from influence or cultivation. Our environment, upbringing, beliefs and experiences all play a part in creating our identity. Once upon a time, my friends and I taped up our webcams as a precautionary measure after watching an episode of Black Mirror where the lead character was blackmailed with footage that was obtained after his webcam got hacked. Turns out, almost everyone who watched that episode did the exact same thing. The fact is you’re not going to be the only one who feels, think or act a certain way. Even so, we try excruciatingly hard to be unique. We’d willingly trade our $1.60 Kopi bing for $6 Iced Coconut Latte (read: hipsters) and ditch our mama shop flip-flops for Gucci sliders (read: hypebeasts) because we’d much rather disappear off the face of the earth than to be seen as an average individual. Hell, we’d even force-feed ourselves the lovechild of McMuffin and Hotcakes just to ride on the McGriddles hype train and be seen as a #foodie. I once knew someone, let’s call him Ben, who embodied the average joe stereotype with his H&M clothes, Kopitiam card and his overplayed Top 30 radio hits playlist. Ben was fine with that, that is until the girl he’s interested in commented that he’s too “basic” for her liking. Hurt, he did a 180 and began to splurge on the latest clothes and sneakers and he replaced his mainstream playlist with hip-hop, trance, and underground R&B tunes. Now, his former average joe self-seems like a distant memory, but I can’t help but think that in a way, he fell victim to society’s idealistic belief of us having to be a special individual to make the most out of life.   As much as we’d want to be seen as an original, there’s a fine line between rebelling against the masses for what you stand for and deviating from the norm just because you want to be different from the rest. It’s important that we do not do the latter and end up like another Ben. It is also unrealistic for us to aspire to be known as the only Priscilla aka Pop Punk Girl With Unorthodox Views or the only Marc aka The Musically Inclined Athlete because there’s bound to be someone out there who’s an exact copy of you. Even our names, an integral part of our identity, are shared with strangers all over the world. To call yourself a 100% unique individual would be trying to convince yourself that the moon is really following you. So, don’t exhaust yourself in a bid to be known as an original. If you don’t feel the need to replace your entire wardrobe every new year or if you love your mainstream Top 30 songs because that’s just how you roll, then so be it. It’s your life and you should own it, regardless of what society expects of you. Also read, The Ugly Truth: Not Everyone Is Beautiful.

A romantic notion that's ingrained in us by romance movies and Nicholas Sparks novels, we were taught that love is synonymous with butterflies in the tummy, grand romantic gestures, and feeling ‘complete’, all of which only The One can grant us. It came as no surprise that we devoured it like unsuspecting fishes drawn to the bait. Heck, we’re the generation that spends our Wednesday nights living it up, downing shots in clubs, all the while maintaining a GPA that’s no less than three. When we’re presented with the idea of Happily Ever After with The One, trust me, we’re hell-bent on fulfilling it.  Most, if not all, of us are so fixated on the idea of The One that our lives revolve around this notion. I remember the first time I told my dad that I was dating someone. As a naive seventeen-year-old, I described my date to him as someone who is cute, rich, and The One I want to be with forever. Shallow, I know. As a man who has been married for more than 17 years with three kids, he found my sappy proclamation of love laughable, “enjoy it while it lasts. You should get him to bring you out on a date at a five-star restaurant while you’re at it.” Back then, I didn’t get why my dad would always scoff at my romantic views toward love. In my mind, I’ve simply labelled him as someone who’s pragmatic. To him, The One is just a bullshit fairytale that’s fabricated and fed to women to make the lives of men hard. He’s a firm believer that there is no one singular person, soulmate or The One who’s magically made for us. A relationship doesn’t flourish on feelings, it requires hard work and effort to make things work. We ourselves create The One from the partner we choose to enter and stay in a relationship with. I, on the other hand, believe that there are many The Ones out there for us. My friend Kayla* serves as a prime example. An avid consumer of bubblegum love songs and 90s romance films, she had spent her whole life anticipating for The One who will grant her a lifetime of happiness. When she met Dave*,  she was convinced that he is the one she's going to spend the rest of her life with. One fine day, she finally decided to lose her virginity to him. He broke up with her a few days later, claiming that his feelings have faded. As bystanders of the relationship, we were quick to call him out on his bullshit but she was convinced that she had lost The One. As a result, her attitude towards love is akin to that of an atheist towards God. She turned to clubbing and one-night stands because to her, since she had lost her one and only shot at true love, why bother anymore? Fast forward a year and countless swipes later, she’s now in a relationship with a decent guy she met from Tinder who she’s certain is also The One. For many of us, Kayla’s story is all-too-familiar. At some point in our life, we would have been so sure that the person we’re dating is The One. So much so that we would apply for a BTO flat with them, no hesitation. However, if things don’t work out, our take on love will be pessimistic until the next The One comes along, and the whole cycle repeats until we settle on someone who eventually becomes our husband. There is no one specific person who you’ll instantly fall in love with and want to marry. At 18, we might be attracted to the f-boys who gave us the thrill and excitement of young love that we craved for - "The One we had fun with". But at 25, most of us would be looking to settle down, so we’ll search for a partner who is mature and shares the same goals and values as us. They’ll end up being “The One we’ll marry”. As our phase in life changes, so does our values, beliefs, and interests. Needless to say, our definition of The One will evolve with us as well. There is no pre-made singular The One whose entire existence on this earth is to fall in love with us and complete us. In life, it’s guaranteed that we’ll meet a series of potential partners. It is all up to us to discern who The One is for us right now. The notion of The One could also just serve as a reminder of the relationship that we deserve. On the other end of the spectrum however, there are the toxic behaviour that stem from the notion of The One. And it's imperative for us to tackle such behaviour as well. Tom Hansen, the title character from (500) Days of Summer, meets a girl named Summer who he believes is The One. From the get-go, she sets the record straight that she isn’t looking for anything serious and she doesn’t believe in love. Even so, he is still convinced that she is The One and he went on to project all his romantic fantasies onto her instead of getting to know her for who she is. Some of us could have been Tom in our relationship; so blinded by the whole concept of The One that we are determined that this one person is the only one meant for us. While the rest of us could have been in Summer’s shoes, no stranger to the toxic and stifling relationship where your partner is obsessed with their idea of you being The One and projecting their unrealistic expectations of love on you. The film ends with a newly-wedded Summer confiding in Tom her new found belief in soulmates and destiny, how he was right about it, it just wasn’t her that he was right about. A few days later, Tom meets a girl named Autumn (literally) and his eyes light up once more while Mumm-ra’s She's Got You High plays in the background.  It's pretty tongue-in-cheek but it echoes my sentiment of how there is a series of The Ones that we will meet in our journey instead of just one predetermined The One. Despite all these, I do think that it’s completely okay to hold on to the belief that there is someone out there who is meant for you, as long as you’re being realistic about it. At the end of the day, our trust in the notion of The One is comparable to people’s faith in birthday wishes and four-leaf clovers. Deep down, all of us know that it’s just a tale, but some will still choose to believe in it as it provides a sense of comfort in the bleak and lonely world that we live in, and there’s no wrong in that. *Names have been changed for privacy purposes. Also read, Is Marrying Young Only For The Rash And Reckless?.

Dear Minister Ng, Thank you for your <a href=" letter to all working Singaporeans. I am glad to hear that you’ve been going around to visit Singaporeans at their workplaces. You are right to point out that we are living in a fast-changing world and we have to constantly learn on the job. I have a friend who kept encouraging us to second-skill in case robots take over our jobs one day. We laughed and didn’t think much of it but hey, in all seriousness, she actually made a good point. Technology is already replacing some mundane jobs today. Redmart for example, used to have quality assurance managers who would manually record temperature readings in the warehouse and input the data in an Excel spreadsheet. Today, that entire process has been cleverly automated by a forecasting tool. Unless the quality assurance managers had equipped themselves with other skills or found other ways to provide value to their company, they would have been made obsolete. I see many of our generation expecting ideal working conditions from employers. We value finding a job that we are passionate about and at the same time, pays well enough for us to enjoy the occasional luxuries of travel and have leftovers to give back to our parents and fund our savings. As a millennial myself, I admit that many of us need to understand that nobody owes us a living. We have to be versatile and adaptable in venturing into roles that aren’t our main strengths. We have to be more prepared to take on higher-value jobs to make ourselves indispensable. This is the future of work. But what if the pioneers of Singapore have no place in this future? It cannot be the future of a select few. It has to be a future for all Singaporeans. While our millennial generation embrace digital disruptions, we know that the middle-aged and seniors will be hit the hardest. Thank you for remembering our pioneers because in time to come, we will become pioneers ourselves and we definitely don’t want a precedence where seniors are forgotten.

The middle-aged group will already be earning a comfortable sum every month, enough to support their growing children and aging parents. If they lose their jobs, they have more to lose than the people of our generation who adopt the “YOLO” mantra of living. Furthermore, they have to once again contend for a new job with the pool of younger generation workers. So you are right to point out the imperative need for everyone to never stop learning, upgrade our skills and train. If people are willing to second-skill, it will help them stay nimble in the face of disruptions. I’m glad that you are also emphasising the need for employers to play their part in embracing the “plug, train and play” mindset. If employers are only hiring workers who have the relevant skills of today, they are ignoring workers who have the potential and possibilities of tomorrow. Senior workers who want to work face a different kind of challenge. How do we nudge them along and not leave them behind as the society progresses? I mean, have you seen that 70-year-old granny who has been delivering food on foot? She is a great example of why we should rethink and redesign jobs for elderly. If they find learning a chore - how can we change the way they view learning? How can we help them take on less mundane jobs yet more value-adding jobs? It’s certainly not easy looking after all segments of working people – the young, the not so young, the middle-aged and seniors. As our labour workforce evolves and matures, the needs of each working group will differ as well. It is heartening to know that you are looking into all these concerns that Singaporeans have been lamenting for years. I commend your promise on being more progressive to improve our livelihoods, and I do hope that you continue to commit on making this real with us. We look forward to seeing you around! - From a hopeful millennial This article is contributed by a guest writer, Ling. (Header Image Credit: Minister Ng Chee Meng's Facebook page) Also read, A Letter To The Singapore Government, From A Young Singaporean.

Men across the world have always been branded as the more superficial of the sexes. While there isn’t one study to prove this once and for all, it’s evident in our daily conversations and media representation. When men are around better looking women, they tend to be more gentlemanly and attentive, sometimes even flirtatious. I was also told that for a guy to be attracted to a girl, she has to be a strong 8; whereas most girls are willing to settle for a 5 in terms of looks. Of course this is just a blanket statement with no numbers to support it, but we can’t deny that pretty doesn’t come with privilege. A more provocative or sensual lady definitely has an advantage over the Plain Janes. This concept isn’t lost on the economy. Many businesses will only hire pleasant looking people for their front-line roles. Somehow, I have always thought that men are easily attracted to sexy women too. Perhaps it’s because of all the jokes people make of men only thinking with their dicks. Perhaps it’s a prejudiced mindset that as a women myself, I’d like to think that we are less shallow than the other gender. But then again, women play the rating game too. Take for example the simple game of Shoot, Shag, Marry. We also subconsciously treat men differently based on how attractive they are. Imagine receiving a bouquet from a chubby old man compared to a chiseled young man; one comes across as creepy and the other, charming. It’s also common to hear Singaporean females lament about how unfair it is that there are more good looking women than men in the country, and how lucky it is that guys have a better selection of the opposite sex. So ultimately the question is, do women put more importance on looks than guys do? Many of women’s favourite hobbies or activities we like are based on superficiality as well. Shopping for clothes and accessories, going for manicures and pedicures, and the love of camera filters for making us look so flawlessly cute. Not that it’s a bad thing but at the base of it all, aren’t those all for satisfying our superficial needs or wants? Some will even say things like "no make up guys also wont like." As for men, there aren't a lot to compare against. In a sense, men can beautify themselves in fashion and style and in recent years, more local men have started splurging on hair care too. But as vain as men can be, you have to admit than women do have a lot more options.

Chicks Vs Dudes

I saw this infographic recently that also tells of women being more shallow than men. The infographic showed the behaviour of Tinder users based on a comprehensive study. Of all the statistics, one stood out for me: Women were most likely to swipe right on men in bathing suits compared to any other attire. Contrarily, men were least likely to swipe on women in bathing suits.

Similarly, women were more likely to send a message to men whose photos were of them in a bathing suit. What this means is that in three categories of formal clothes, casual clothes, and bathing suits, women are most attracted to men in bathing suits whereas men were least attracted to women in bathing suits. Does that mean that women are more superficial? I decided to do a simple experiment with my colleagues, who are all Singaporeans and PRs in their twenties. I picked out 15 photos of men and women and asked 8 male and 8 females to tell me who they would swipe on for a prospective romantic partner and why. What they didn’t know is that out of the 15 photos, some of the photos are of the same people, but dressed differently. Are our Singaporean women really that superficial? And do we really have a misconception of our men being lustful? Here are my findings: *Photos are taken for the purpose of this experiment only. We have censored the photos out of respect to the subjects and our readers.  

The biggest similarity between both groups is their emphasis on facial appearance. When it comes to physical looks and making the best first impression, a person’s face is what attracts about 80% of them (13 out of 16) first. The other 3 were all girls and they gave a men’s dressing, overall presentation and vibe, and for one of them, the men’s arms as the first physical trait they look at. There is a slight difference between the two groups when it comes to a person’s body or figure. Most of the guys didn't seem to prioritise the women’s figure or ‘sexual assets’ and didn’t see it as a deal breaker, they can still accept a plus size women as long as she looks healthy and radiates confidence. However, the girls were pickier on a men’s body. While 2 of them admitted that they would prefer a beach body (though it’s not a necessity), the other 6 would steer away from such men. Some of them felt that showing off his body in photos gives an impression that he’s overcompensating or even narcissistic – a trait that most Singaporean women doesn’t like. Some were quite specific such that they preferred men whose body is just the right size - he can’t be too bulky and he can’t be too scrawny either.

We Are Superficial Beings

Let’s face it: we are superficial. The experiment showed that men are the ones who are more accepting of a women’s size, and women are the ones who are more likely to see a men's body as a deal breaker. Then again, one could argue that there is also a societal expectation for women to live up to this superficiality - the ‘there’s no ugly women, only lazy ones’ notion. Society expects women to do what they ‘need’ to do to look beautiful. And over time, women take in this expectation as their own and expect the same in the opposite gender. Regardless, it's obvious that we are superficial and do form impressions on people just on their looks alone because out of the 16 colleagues I polled, only about 5 of them found it hard to make a decision to swipe yes or not based on just one photo. Although that was the nature of the experiment, only those 5 mulled over it and double-checked if they could have more information. Admittedly, my experiment is but a tiny representation of the local millennials, but it's an insight into what our fellow Singaporeans look for in a romantic partner. And at least it gave me a sense of comfort that not all of us are that lustful or shallow. Also read, The Ugly Truth: Not Everyone Is Beautiful.

I thought chain messages were passé until my friends told me they are still receiving them on WhatsApp. Except this time, the consequence of not forwarding the message is not being cursed or dying horribly. These days, chain messages are the best means to spread fake news. Our relatives are usually the ones to forward these messages in good faith. They genuinely believe that they are doing a public service by warning those close to them about some non-existent emergency. These relatives become the butt of our jokes. We talk about how typical the ridiculously illegitimate message sound – “Do they actually think this is real?” Most of these older relatives are already worried about the bad things that could happen to their children on a daily basis. So when there's an announcement about tainted food or some safety breach, it triggers those underlying concerns and sparks a reaction (forwarding the message) easily.

Are Millennials Really Better?

We all like to think that as the internet savvy generation, we are immune to fake news. Armed with the ability to cross reference and question sources, I assumed younger Singaporeans would be less susceptible to fall prey. But I’ve been proven wrong and I even fall for it myself sometimes. When it comes to fake news, we say the older generation is too gullible. However, we, the supposedly more informed generation, are no exception.

This post, for instance, shows data about our national debt being at a whopping 12 digits. At first glance, it's easy to jump on this data and declare that Singapore is doomed. But 'national debt' actually refers to what the government owes its people through channels like CPF or bonds - something completely normal. I wanted to give the Facebook user a benefit of doubt, that he was simply confused between the definition of national debt and external debt. But scrolling through his older posts, his anti-government sentiments were conspicuous. He also included the same 'national debt image' in the comments section of his newer posts – presumably for a second chance at fame. It’s hard not to assume he harboured an ulterior motive. Although several people had corrected him in the comments section, the damage had already been done. The shocking numbers tied well with the disgruntled, (debatably) overworked and underpaid Singaporeans. Many had shared the image together with angry captions; the post had successfully gone viral. While this is just one example, it goes to show how easily it is to sow discord by leveraging on existing societal issues or any negative feelings.

Heart Over Mind

Many of those who shared the post were swayed by their emotions and preconceived beliefs. It supported their opinion about how 'Singapore sucks' and how 'our government sucks'. As long as the post is in line with our internal narrative, many of us will hit that like or share button faster than we can ask ourselves, “is this legit?” Often, when fake news goes viral, it taps on our dissatisfaction and our desire to make a change. Just like when we heard about the BMW owner allegedly bullying the petrol kiosk uncle into paying for his petrol, the country flipped out. We formed an online mob and the petrol company responded, reassuring us that there is an investigation ongoing. Meanwhile, online vigilantes took justice into their own hands. Our collective likes and shares eventually rallied enough people to our cause and we hunted the 'bad guy' down. Only, the bad guy wasn’t that bad. It was just a one-sided story that went wrong. More recently, former national striker Noh Alam Shah had to deal with the confusion of his fans and family when he was mistakenly reported dead. As minor as it may sound, such inaccurate news can be very distressing for the individuals and the people around them. If you think about it, the sharing of chain messages or fake news is akin to the "1 like 1 prayer" notion. People who like and share the post feel like they played a part in creating change. If only it was so easy. We are motivated by the power a share, a like, and a comment can hold. And as stereotypical as it sounds, the internet community has time and again shown that we can make a bigger impact when we rally as one. Our voices become louder and together, we form a mob strong enough that could possibly get us what we want. Sometimes, we get the attention of big companies and sometimes, political leaders notice us. This behaviour works in our favour when done right, but at other times, it simply looks bad on us.

Then how?

Our relatives could easily be excused for being gullible or simply unaware, but what is our excuse? As the millennial generation that is associated with being tech-savvy, we should be more discerning when it comes to fake news. It is not as as simple as avoiding non-credible news sources; because even the more reputable newspapers make mistakes. The only solution is to do our due diligence and research before we pick a side. Otherwise, we might just be deemed as ill-informed and hot headed. If not, it might be just better to stick to sharing lifestyle content. Also read, Political Correctness In Singapore And The Problem With PC Culture.

Whenever we reminisce our growing up days, flip phones, MSN, and Game Boys come to mind. Our coming of age was marked with tapered pants, folded skirts, and questionable hairstyles (long fringe and weird shades of blonde). We had all sorts of ways to entertaining ourselves and trying to be more 'adult' than we really were. One of the ways is through class chalets. It's funny how chalets were such an iconic part of our growing up years but we rarely talk about it today. Perhaps it's the staycation culture or maybe we just outgrew chalets, Regardless, chalets were once a big part in many millennials' teen life. Those colonial homes or little abodes at Downtown East were so quintessentially part of the “Singapore teenager” starter pack. It's where we would all gather and show off how close the class was by wearing class tees; that in hindsight were really ugly. It’s as if we actually liked being in uniform. After checking in, we'd flock to Escape Theme Park or Wild Wild Wet – always going on the same few rides again and again. In the evening, we would huddle around the BBQ pit and play games. The scouts or girl guides were normally tasked to start the fire and everyone else who volunteers to cook will be happily struggling not to burn the food.

Chalets were the best place for a big group of 40 that wanted nothing more than unadulterated fun; we didn't had to worry about curfews or how much noise we made in public. Above all, the biggest reason why chalets became such an integral part of my teenage years is because of what happens in the wee hours of the night.

You want beer?

I had my first beer at 14 years old, with classmates of the same age. Yes, we were absolutely too young. How then did this group of underage kids get beer? Like how all delinquents get their alcohol or nicotine at chalets: through an ah lian’s older boyfriend. No one at 14 appreciated the bitter taste of alcohol, but we each downed half a can anyway; probably from peer pressure and the desire to feel more mature than we really were. In fact, another class was also having their first taste of alcohol next door. They didn’t think anyone would find out since they disposed of the evidence discretely. Unbeknown to the class, one of their classmates went home wasted. When he vomited in his mother’s car, the cat was out of the bag and the principal found out.

It could have been the beer or the first taste of freedom but chalets were always a little wild; they were the unsupervised highlight of our growing up days. As oppressed students on most days of the week, we relished in being our own bosses for 2D1N. With no one to tell us how to dress, behave, or speak, we were at liberty to experiment with life and do as we pleased. It is where we popped our cherries on many things – first beer, first wasted night, first cigarette. For some, this is also where they first made love. Even when staycations outshone chalets, the latter somehow remained relevant in our lives.

Chalets Are The Perfect Excuse

When I turned 18 and went to my first club, I left the party at 2am because my parents insisted on picking me up. I wasn’t embarrassed but rather, upset for missing out. From then on, I would tell my parents I was staying over at a chalet if I ever wanted to spend the whole night out. And I'd get their approval - no questions asked. For some of my friends who are in forbidden relationships because of race, religion, or strict parents, chalets have proven to be the perfect cover for staying out late. Many staycations were only possible because of that excuse too. Could our teenage years be as exciting and thrilling as it’s supposed to be without chalets? I doubt so. Since they are considered safer and more acceptable than a club, a hotel room, or someone’s home even, chalets were and still is the perfect white lie. I’m sure teenagers these days have found their own way to dapple in these same vices, but I still can’t help but feel sad that the chalet culture is dying out. It’s almost like seeing a part of my childhood slowly disappearing. I’m aware that in chalets, <a href=" scandals and drug orgies thrived. But for me, it was simply a place where I had significant moments of prepubescent growth and new adventures. Unlike Tamagotchis and MSN, chalets were more than just a way to connect and have fun. It was where we learnt to define our own moral grounds and really grew up. (Header image credit: mkvlln voto) Also read, Glo-Up Or Fade-Out: 8 Millennials Share Their Life Experiences In The Past 10 Years