Tag: breakup

You were once the world to me. We knew each other like the backs of our hands and spent nearly every waking moment together. There were days when being beside each other wasn’t enough, and there were days we got tired of each other—but the bottom line was always the same; we loved each other. At least, I hope we did.

You used to hold my hand every night and share with me all the ways you thought life was beautiful. You used to talk about how we would build a future together. We would stroll together, discuss the house we would live in, the children we would raise, the lifestyle we would lead, the home we would make. We would travel the world together and immerse ourselves in all the different cultures.

We were the couple everyone thought would stay together, forever.

And then one day it all vanished, leaving behind nothing but words left unsaid and the photos to prove that what we once shared was indeed real.

I was the one who let you go. I chose to give you up instead of work out our differences. You didn't want to walk away, but I made you. I cajoled and I begged and I was the one who pushed you away. I was the one who let you go, even as I doubted if there could ever be someone else who would love me the same.

When I watched you finally walk away, your back turned resolutely on me, I expected liberation; I expected relief to wash over me. At the very least, I expected guilt to come over me, guilt for not giving my all in fighting for us. But there was nothing of that sort. You simply crept away, into the dark of the night, and as quietly as you had entered. That day, you took something of mine with you. You took a part of me I knew only when I was with you.

With each day that passed since we agreed to go our separate ways, the void in me grew deeper. I wondered if it could ever be filled, and I asked myself time and again if I did the right thing. Can you ever truly let go of someone you still love?

Oftentimes, circumstances get the better of people and events play themselves out. We may have been lovers and best friends once who shared some of their best moments in life together, but all good things inevitably come to an end.

We started off as strangers, and we've come full circle—except now, we're strangers who know all of each other’s little secrets. There will come a day when we will look back on the times we shared together and be able to smile genuinely, but that day will not arrive quite so soon. It's a journey that only time can take care of.

In the meantime, it’s okay to dwell in the past every once in a while. It’s okay to reminisce the time you both burned that steak you tried to cook, the time you pieced together that impossibly huge jigsaw puzzle, the time you stayed up all night just revealing all your secrets to each other; the time you fell asleep on each others’ shoulders, how you tried to complete each others’ sentences, your miserable attempt at break dancing together.

With the passing of time, as with a million other inconsequential matters, the memories that were once vivid will gradually fade. The shared experiences will one day be relegated to the deep recesses of your mind, and you will be okay.

People tell you that healing is a long and arduous process, but one thing is for certain—it will happen. With the passage of time, even the most painful of memories fade away. When you’re finally able to sit yourself down and look at all your old photos without feeling that pang of regret or overwhelming sense of nostalgia, you know you’re getting there. I may have been the one who let you walk out of my life, but I think there are some people you love that you never really stop loving. You allow them to graduate from your life as a stranger, but you also remember how they have changed you and made you the person you are today.  So, this is how you let go of someone you love; you take them down from the pedestal and you allow yourself to forget, one shred of feeling at a time.   
Breakups are one of the most painful things in life to go through. You're plagued by the memory of them, the things you've done together, the places you've gone, and whether you're on the initiating or receiving end of the breakup, it hurts. Like hell. In the wake of a breakup, it can seem like the pain will never end, that you will always be broken, and that you will never be able to love again. All that couldn't be further from the truth. One day, you'll wake up and realize that you're okay, that you survived it, that they've been cleansed from your system. This is how 17 Singaporeans knew they were finally over their ex-es.

1. When the memory of them stops haunting you

"When I can look at the other person and laugh at the memories." "When I look at their post on Facebook and don't think of my time with them." "When you go back to places you've been to together and it doesn't upset you." "When I start forgetting simple things like which floor they live on or their middle names."

2. When you can be normal around them

"When I no longer feel awkward around them."

3. When it just stops hurting

"When I no longer cry when I sleep." "When I can listen to "Six degrees of separation" by The Script and not feel anything anymore." "When I no longer feel happy/sad/angry etc. over them. Just neutral. When I'm sort of apathetic towards them?"

4. When you no longer think about them

"When I no longer think of them as I wake up and as I go to sleep." "When I only think about them once in awhile." "When I can get on with my life as per usual and not think about or check on the person every other hour." "When I no longer think of the person when I'm having fun. When you're with someone, you think of them when you're having fun 'coz you want them to share your joy. When you stop thinking about them when you're happy, you're over them."

5. When they stop being a sensitive topic

"When I feel neutral when people mention their name/places we've been to/activities we've done together." "When I'm okay seeing them date someone else." "When I see them with someone else and I'm like heng ah, lucky I never end up with that person. " "When I simply don't feel anything when people talk about him or when I bump into him."

6. When you move on

"When I'm interested in someone else." How did you know when you were finally over your ex? Submit your story to [email protected].

Read Next: 16 Singaporeans Share What They Hate Most About Dating These Days

1. Break Up Via Mom

"Once had a girl break up via her mom. For 3 weeks, she wouldn't return my texts/calls so I drove to her place one night. Her mom answers the door and says, "She don't want nothing to do with you." As I'm getting back in my car, she appears. I just said, "Save it. If you're not adult enough to break up with me yourself, then I want nothing to do with you anyway." I drove off and never saw the b*tch again." - oopstoolate

2. Wait, What Just Happened?

"A girl dumped me while going down on me. ...I was confused." --the_neophyte

3. Post-coital Breakup

"My first boyfriend dumped me about an hour after I lost my virginity to him. We'd been together for a year. That kinda stung." - manders41411

4. Shitty Timing

"Friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend of 2.5 years while on a plane to a wedding, in which she only knew him. They shared the hotel room for 3 days and sat next to each other on the flight back." - elfa82

5. Not Doing It At All

"Came back from a girls' weekend with my sister and cousin to find the entire apartment empty. Everything was gone including most of my stuff. No note, no phone call, nothing. This was 8 months after getting married; turned out he wanted a divorce." - tashke

6. I Cheated And It's YOUR Fault

"A girl broke up with me over Facebook. She blamed me for her cheating on me while I was away for a week." - joeshmoe16

7. Leaving Without A Word

"He left me while I was in the shower. On New Year's Day. Never answered my calls, emails or texts. Just up and left. We were together over three years."

8. Break Up Via Facebook Relationship Status Change

"My brother's girlfriend changed her relationship status to 'in a relationship' with a different guy and I called him because I was shocked they had broken up and she had moved on so quickly. I asked why they broke up and he replied with 'we didn't break up?'" - shannonious

9. Double whammy

"My ex broke up with me over the phone right before asking my best friend out, while I was still on the phone. She said yes." - ashtonanne

Got a f-ed up breakup story? Add to the list! Submit your story to [email protected].