Tag: mother

I never knew it would hit me because I have never been the emotional type, but it did, and it has been a heck of a roller coaster ride.

Slightly more than a year ago, I gave birth to Kayla, and for the first three months after, I struggled with this constant ball of fear in my chest. I had no appetite for meals, I cried everyday, I lost weight, and my milk supply dipped so fast that I couldn’t breastfeed even if I wanted to.

As a first-time mother, I was overwhelmed by this new lifestyle that no amount of preparation could truly prepare me for.

Initially, we didn’t plan for Kayla to happen, as my husband and I were only married for six months at that point. And to be very honest, I felt fear the moment I knew I was pregnant. I knew motherhood was not going to be a walk in the park because of the stories I have heard from fellow moms. I was terrified of what's ahead.

Unlike in school where there are lessons and ten year series to walk you through each subject, there is no ‘manual’ for motherhood. Everyone's experience is different and the only way to know what motherhood really is, is when you become a mother yourself.

Nonetheless, I prepared myself for motherhood in the possible ways I could: by making sure we had all the physical stuff ready. Things like the baby’s room, the milk bottles, and the medications. It was an assurance that at least, whatever we need will be available at our disposal when Kayla is born.

Then, Kayla Came

Image Credit: Meiting’s Instagram

The first 28 days was a whirl, but at least I had a confinement nanny around. I was still recovering from the natural birth process and my stitches still hurt. I wasn’t very mobile. As I was breastfeeding, I couldn't get more than four hours of sleep each time. It was really tiring.

Deep down, it started to dawn on me how scary it was that I am now responsible for this little human being. However, I also wanted to give her the best I can, and I tried my best to learn as much as I could from my confinement nanny before she left. And when she left after the first month, I started to lose control.

I lived in constant fear and anxiety.

I'm a self-professed worrier. I think a lot and cannot help but imagine the worst scenarios that can happen. This made me feel anxious all the time.

As a first-time mother, you find yourself forming an idea of motherhood based on what you read on the internet and from other mommies. For me, what I read and hear became a set of expectations for myself. I started to follow these set of 'rules' religiously, and even if the most little of things go out of place, it'll mess me up.

For example, I would expect Kayla to take this number of naps a day, or to finish drinking this amount of milk, and I would get really worried when those 'quotas' are not hit. The pressure of living up to these expectations I placed on myself and the stress of feeling inadequate consumed me over time.

I didn’t know how to handle a child. I felt so lost and lonely. Motherhood was something so new to me and I was just so afraid that I wasn’t doing things right or wasn’t giving my best to my child. I wasn't even in the right state of mind. I was just this person following a schedule: always on stand-by to supply Kayla her next milk feed, change her diaper, burp her, and bathe her.

As a chirpy and outgoing person by nature, I knew something wasn’t right as I was crying every day. I lost all appetite for meals. Waking up every morning became a dreaded affair because I will be filled with anxiety the moment I opened my eyes, and that awful feeling would intensify through the day.

It was so mentally draining.

The Shame That Came With Having Postnatal Depression

I struggled with the thoughts of how it was possible for me to have depression. I was ashamed. A part of me felt like I had no right to feel this way since I had been looking forward to being a mother for the past 10 months. How could I be depressed now?

Fortunately, I saw what I was becoming, and I knew that this was not the kind of lifestyle I wish to continue with. It was so painful and stifling to be on the edge of a breakdown every single day.

I wanted the old Meiting back and with that realisation, I decided to open up. I sought help from my mom, whom gave me the chance to have a few hours off per week. I spoke to my husband as well, and I implored him to bring me to a doctor if I were to continue to cry for another week, as I knew I would need professional help.

When I did open up, things started to look better.

Learning To Let Go

In reality, when it comes to handling babies, things rarely goes according to plan.

My mother and husband played a big part in my recovery and it is their support that helped me come out of postnatal depression after two months. The subsequent six to eight months still saw me having moments of anxiety attacks, but it was manageable as I had learnt to talk about my depressive thoughts. And my family and friends became my wake up call.

My husband always tells me to let go and to just follow our daughter's cues. It is reminders like this that remind me of the pressure I had unwittingly placed on myself, and how I need to take it easy.

It’s now my second year as a mother. Looking back at myself as a mother back then, I’m grateful for whatever I had gone through.

Image Credit: Meiting’s Instagram

I'm grateful for my child, Kayla. We did not plan for her to happen. But she is now, to me, the greatest gift from God. Kayla has completely changed my perspective as a person, and I have grown and learnt so much from being a mother.

This Mother’s Day, I'm also super thankful for my mom.

Without her, I will not be able to go back to work with a peace of mind. Without her, I don’t know how I would have been able to deal with my postnatal depression. Her unwavering love and support for Kayla and me have left a mark on me, and has shown me once again, what unconditional love is. And now that I've experienced it myself, I know how fortunate I am to be blessed with the role of a mother.

To all first-time mothers and mothers-to-be

No mothers talk about it, but postnatal depression is very real. It is common and 80% of my mommy friends have experienced it, be it in a mild or very serious form. Because nobody really talks about it, you will feel like postnatal depression isn’t ‘normal’ or ‘right’. I know this because those were emotions that I grappled with.

It sucked the life and joy out of me. It affected my husband and made him feel distanced from his once loving wife. It is important to acknowledge that these feelings of fear, doubt, anxiety, and sadness are very real, for this will help you get better.

The start of motherhood will seem scary and lonely, but it will get better. There will be bad days but the storm will pass and you will be fine.

Cherish the good times and learn from the rough ones. You’ll make it through eventually. There's nothing more rewarding and fulfilling than being a Mother. You'll love it. Maybe not now, but you will. We are made for this.

This story is written by Millennials of Singapore, as told to us by Lian Meiting.

Also read: These 14 Heartwarming Stories Show That A Mother's Love Is Like No Other.

(All images used in header image taken from Lian Meiting)

In her second trimester, the gynae pointed out that there was a white dot on her baby’s heart. That meant that the baby, her third child, could be born with some kind of birth defect, or a genetic defect like Down syndrome. There were a few possibilities, but there was no way to confirm any of it until after the baby was born.

Like any mother, Apple had worried about such a possibility but nothing could truly prepare a mother for the amount of changes and anguish she would go through when she gave birth to a child with special needs.

Four months later, she gave birth to her baby girl, Li-Ann.

The scan did not lie: Li-Ann was born with Trisomy 21, a genetic disorder otherwise known as Down syndrome.

Bearing A Child Who’s Different

“We didn’t have time to worry about [Li-Ann having Down syndrome at first] because she had a more critical problem. She was born with an imperforate anus.”

It is a birth defect that rendered Li-Ann’s body incapable of eliminating faeces through her anus, and it was imminent for them to first address this.

It is painful to even think about undergoing complicated medical procedures or surgeries as an adult, and for Apple, the most heartbreaking part of it all was having to see this happen to her newborn baby.

Baby Li-Ann
Image Credit: Apple

“It was heartbreaking to see her poked so many times to have her blood taken at such a young age. I would tell [the doctors and nurses] to wait for me to walk far away before they begin the procedure. I cannot [bear to see or hear her cry.]”

After three surgeries in ten months and many trips to the hospital, Li-Ann was finally able to pass motion just like anyone else.

However, this was only the beginning of a long journey for Apple, as the reality of having a child with Down syndrome started to dawn on her.

A Complete Change In Family Dynamics

At home, the setbacks came in waves and the stress resulted in inevitable conflicts between Apple and her husband.

“Back then, my husband’s concerns were: How are we going to help her (Li-Ann)? How are we going to teach her?”

People with Down syndrome experience <a href=" range of developmental difficulties which include delayed motor and cognitive skills. What this meant for Apple was a major shift in her perspectives on education and parenting. More than that, it was going to take conscientious effort from every family member to create a supportive environment for Li-Ann.

“The way to teach her would have to be very different. When you teach kids something, they may get the concepts after you explain five times but for Li-Ann, you may need to explain 20 times. Sometimes, 20 times may not work either because she processes things differently from others.”

Looking back, Apple credited Li-Ann’s learning to their decision to homeschool their children even before Li-Ann was born. Their rationale was clear: they wanted to establish a home environment that would encourage the children to be curious and passionate about their learning. Through the time and interaction with her siblings from homeschooling together, Li-Ann had the benefit of observing the normative behaviour of her siblings and she modelled her behaviour and speech from them according to the best of her abilities

“Kids learn best from imitation, and because I have my kids at home with me, Li-Ann can learn from them as well. So my older kids have been instrumental in Li-Ann’s growth and development.”

Apple’s three children: Li-Ann, John, and Rebecca
Image Credit: Apple

The first couple of months were “really, really tough”, but Apple’s mental preparation and early acceptance helped a lot. And it was only a matter of time the family learnt to adapt to the changes at home.

Much later in our conversation, she shared, “when the parents are in denial [of their child’s condition], it’s very difficult,” referring to other parents of special needs children she has met.

Take for instance Mary Heng, who also has a daughter with Down syndrome and who is one of Apple’s friends—they had bonded over their similarities as mothers of children with Down syndrome

The Pain Of Denial

Acceptance didn’t come as easy for Mary, who struggled with her daughter’s diagnosis and broke down the moment she heard the news over the phone.

“I thought I was mentally ready for the diagnosis but the instant I put the phone down, I started crying inconsolably.”

“There was a feeling of emptiness in my heart, like I’ve lost someone.”

Nonetheless, abortion was not something Mary considered, as it was her flesh and blood after all. She started reading up to understand how to care for a baby with Down syndrome. The more knowledge she gained however, the more it broke her heart, as many of the websites she read only made her realise how many health issues her daughter could suffer from.

She blamed herself.

“I knew that the condition is a random occurrence, but I couldn’t help feeling that the random occurrence was due to some defect in my reproductive system. Each time I held this baby in my arms, she was so precious yet I just felt sad for the fact that she has Down syndrome.”

Even after her baby was born, she continued to struggle with the fact that her daughter has Down syndrome. She would cry every time she thought about it. There were also moments where she could not help but question why it had to be her.

It took a week of crying before Mary started to brace herself to take on whatever that comes—Down syndrome or not, her daughter is still her daughter.

Regardless of what a child is born with, it is how the parents look at it. As an active member in the local community of parents with special needs children, Apple stressed, “Sometimes the situation may not be as bad as it seems, but because of the parents’ denial, the children will have missed opportunities that are important for their growth.”

This isn’t to say that all was smooth-sailing for Apple and her husband. As the family settled in to their new phase of life with Li-Ann, Apple admitted that they did not always have the answers. There will always be problems and they will always find themselves facing new struggles along the way, but it all boils down to perseverance and lifelong commitment to the family.

The husband and wife’s will to make things work would later prove to be a major motivation to push on, because just one year after Li-Ann came along, Apple was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Still A Mother Despite Having Cancer

After her first surgery to remove the breast lumps, Apple had a few serious discussions with her husband as to whether they should continue homeschooling the kids.

“Among other things, my husband was also concerned whether Li-Ann would drag the other two down [if we continued homeschooling]. I told him they will not as they will continue to learn at their own pace.”

Her husband had wanted her to focus on her health and recovery, but she firmly believes that as parents, their primary responsibility is their children's growth and learning.

The down-to-earth manner in which she recounted the story to me painted a picture of her as a modest woman, or one who has long accepted that her sacrifices are just a part of being a mother.

Regardless, her unwavering determination in caring for her children was distinct.

“I can’t always be there. But I strongly believe in building strong relationships among [my children] now, so they can help each other when they grow up.”

“I believe that we can give them whatever resources they need for their individual growth. The vision of home schooling is to find out the gifts of the children and to nurture them.”

A note Apple’s second child, Rebecca wrote
Image Credit: Apple’s blog

However, just four months after her first surgery, she found a lump in her underarm. She had to go for another surgery and undergo various treatments - chemotherapy, radiotherapy and hormonal therapy, for the next one and a half years.

At that point, she was struggling to come to terms with her circumstances and pondered over the possibility of her never recovering.

“These are things that I have to struggle with, and it’s something that is not within my control. So I know that whatever years I have [left] is to be here for them. My kids.”

Thankfully, Apple found support in her family, friends, and the doctors and nurses who attended to her. With a strong support system and her strong will, she soon bounced back to her role as the primary caregiver of her kids.

The Challenge Never Stops

As the family relationshipss got stronger, things became easier. Though for Apple, her responsibility as a mother remains an everyday challenge—any mother would attest to how exhausting it is to be a mother.

Knowing the journey she has gone through, I imagine it to be an extremely demanding one. Although, I have no idea how I will react if I knew my baby has Down syndrome. I cannot even envisage the kind of inner conflict I will struggle with, knowing that childbirth is supposed to be a celebratory event, yet I cannot be truly happy about it. And knowing the disadvantages my child will face for all his/her life, for s/he is born different.

Yet, even with all the feelings of turmoil and doubt that Apple would probably have had, I observed how all of her motivations seem to only revolve around her kids.

Apple's Family_Special Needs Child
Apple's family
Image Credit: Apple

She answered matter of factly whenever I probed about her struggles, but spoke with a smile, and a tinge of excitement and pride in her voice whenever she talked about her children’s achievements.

As a third party who spent over two hours chatting with Apple at Northpoint City’s Kopitiam, I could sense her love for her family. As cliche as it is, she embodies what all mothers aim to be:  imperfect, but brave, strong-willed, and self-sacrificing.

In fact, she frequently related to me her children’s abilities and their personality quirks. I learnt that Li-Ann’s favourite story is Little House on the Prairie, how John is into video production, and how Rebecca loves music and singing.  

After I left, I couldn’t help but also reflect on how well-behaved Rebecca and Li-Ann was throughout my chat with Apple. They had sat at a separate table beside ours the entire time, keeping themselves busy and never complaining once. Somehow, I had the (ignorant) impression that a child with Down syndrome would have made noise at the one hour mark or so. Or that a place full of jarring distractions would be a place too chaotic for them.

Perhaps this is largely due to my lack of understanding that an individual with Down syndrome is just like any other person. When given the right resources and opportunities, which they need, they are equally capable of achieving whatever typical kids can achieve.

This, is what mothers like Apple and Mary hope for their children.

For them, they are also well aware of how their years ahead are limited, but there is still a long way for their daughters. Like all caregivers of children with special needs, their only hope as mothers is that they have done enough to prepare their children for life.

Also read: Two Abortions Later, I Decided To Become A Mother.

(Header Image Credit: Apple)

I’m a lot closer to my friends than my family. There’s so much more that my friends see and know about me. It isn’t because I grew up being looked after by my grandparents, relatives, or helper. I was never sent to child care centres either. My parents brought my brother and me up all by themselves. It wasn’t that I grew up in a broken family either. My parents were always loving to each other and to us. Our middle-income family lifestyle also meant a high regard for simplicity, humility, and maintaining family ties. We appreciate what we have and we appreciate each other, yet I feel a disconnect with the very people I’m supposed to be closest to – and it’s not because we don’t spend time together. Occasionally, my father will drive us across the causeway for cheap eats, shopping, or a massage. My mother’s regular home cooking is also a reason for us to huddle together for dinner every day after work. We spend a lot of time together but there’s hardly any conversation aside from my mum’s gripe about the market prices of meat and vegetables. I don't share about my day and I don't ask them about theirs. It just feels weird, unnatural. When I see social media posts of my friends enjoying movie nights, ice skating, or trips to USS together with their family, I wished my family was like that too. It isn’t where they went that I am envious of, it is the laughter and light banter in the background. It is the quality time together that I long for. Was there something we could have done in the past that would have made us closer now? Why don’t we do fun family activities together? Is it because all of us grew up too quickly? I know, it’s already a privilege to have a family. An unexciting family of four, stable and boring, but safe. Some people don’t even have anyone to call ‘family’. I appreciate what I have but if only I could draw close to my supposed nearest and dearest without feeling so awkward.

My parents’ love for my sibling and I is undeniable, but so is the ever-growing gap between us.

When I had trouble catching up on my studies, I hid it from my parents. When it came to matters of the heart and having my heart broken by the guys I dated, I turned to friends instead. When I was lost and confused about life after graduation, I turned to Google for advice. My parents didn’t deserve to be disappointed, and I never felt comfortable to share. Call it pride, call it fear but it was never a natural way of my life to talk about my feelings and emotions with my parents so openly. And now that I’m a working adult with my own social circles and partner, there are more distractions and lesser reasons for me to talk with my parents. Perhaps we were just that stereotypical Asian family who avoided complicated topics and shunned from anything related to sex. When I asked why I was growing hair at my nether regions, my mother would tell me that it is because I didn’t wash my vagina clean enough. When I had my first period and asked why we (girls) had periods, my dad said it’s just something that makes you an ‘official woman’. They never elaborated more than that and I never probed. Sometimes I wonder if this is why I’m so gullible today. However, the ‘Asian culture’ was stronger during my parents’ days and yet they still remain close to their siblings. Even though we all live separate lives, every family gathering filled our home with warmth and energy, there was always laughter and chatter. Perhaps this is the legendary kampong spirit that everyone talks about. What happened with my generation then? Perhaps it’s because life was much simpler then. In place of movies or video games, entertainment was playing marbles or fives stones with siblings or the neighbours’ kids. Social gatherings meant you had to interact with people instead of being on your phone.

Stevecutts GIF by Moby

As much as it feels distant, the thought of losing my parents still scares me. Besides the pain of never seeing them again, I worry that losing them would also mean losing the only thing that holds my brother and I together. We were raised by the same parents and only two years apart, but we couldn’t be more different. We have led two very separate lives and we barely look alike – we were never close, not when we were young and not now. I knew a girl in my secondary school who had a brother I wished I had. He was a senior in our school and he’d always walk her home. Even when my friend stayed back for CCAs or simply to hang out with her friends, her brother would wait in school until she was done. I wanted that protective and cool brother who would not only be my guardian angel if someone shoots rubber bands at me but would also teach me how to fire these rubber bands back with twice the power. Instead, most of the interactions I had with my brother involved us fighting between ourselves. Now that we’re older, my brother makes an effort to communicate and connect with me despite working and living in another country most of the year, but it never feels right. We speak in different languages and our conversations lack depth but I still hope that eventually my brother and I will find a connection we never had. I just hope my brother believes it, too. After all, blood is always thicker than water. Also read, 12 S’poreans Reveal The Most Endearingly Embarrassing Habits Of Their Mums.
Many of us are guilty of taking the best things we have for granted--like the love of our mothers. The ones who cleaned up our poop-laden diapers; the ones who were more worried about our PSLEs than we ourselves were; the ones who nag at us tirelessly because of love. If you think about it, the sheer number of sacrifices our mums have made for us is incredible. There are so many things our mums have done for us that perhaps, no one else ever will. This Mother's Day, we called for Singaporean millennials to share what they appreciate most about their mums. Of the hundreds of heartfelt entries, here are 14 deeply heartwarming stories that truly epitomize the deep, unconditional love of our mothers. * Stories have been edited for brevity and clarity.

1. “She held on till she knew I was in good hands, before she passed on”

I lost my mum in January. She is the strongest woman I've ever known. She spent her last 18 years on kidney dialysis, went through several surgeries and I can't even count the number of times I almost lost her at the hospital. She gave my siblings and I the best she could, despite the fact that we were very poor since young--giving her best not in terms of material riches but in her love and care. She is my mentor and my lighthouse. The doctor said she would pass away in January this year, but she held on to life just so she could come back home in an ambulance to witness my boyfriend's proposal to me. She passed peacefully the day after and I know she had been waiting for that moment, to know that I will have my other half to take care of me. My mom will always be in my heart. – Lim Edna

2. “She splurged on an apple for me when she managed to earn a little more”

She was a strict mum who brought up 10 children. The most memorable incident was the day she managed to make a little bit more cash from her sewing jobs and bought me an apple. She said to me, “Tin, make sure you finish the whole apple, don't waste." She even polished off the balance when I couldn’t finish the whole apple, saying to me that we “must treasure every single food we have.” My mum passed away three years ago at the age of 92. Till today, I still miss her a lot. – Susan Chua

3. “She surprised me in hall just to have dinner with me”

During my finals period, I stayed in hall for 3 weeks straight just to prepare for my examinations. I was feeling super stressed out not because I didn't study, but because I had anxiety. My mum surprised me when she came down all the way to Boon Lay on a weekend night just to visit and eat dinner with me because she missed me! I felt super touched because I missed her as much as she missed me. I was so glad to be able to catch up with her over dinner. She reminded me not to over-stress my mind and body, and also to drink lots of water to stay hydrated and healthy. I felt like I was the luckiest daughter on earth because that meet up definitely made me feel so much better. – XinYun Peh

4. “When I was heartbroken, my mum was equally sad”

I was really heartbroken for several days over stupid things back then. Seeing me so heartbroken affected my mum's mood also. My mum is not someone who is good at expressing her feelings towards us, so she dropped me a text telling me how much she loves me and that she wouldn't want to see me sad. It made me realise I should do my part as a daughter and give my parents the best of everything. I really appreciate all the support my mum secretly gave me without me realising. – Jocelynn Lee

5. “Her nagging saved my life--twice”

I really appreciate my mom's nagging. Being the scatter-brain that I am, her constant "reminders" are just what I need. In fact, there are times when her nagging turned out to be my life-savers. Once, when I was cooking, I almost dropped the knife and cut my foot because I mindlessly placed the knife at the edge of the basin after using it. Another time, I almost lost my iPhone after buying food. It was only when I remembered my mum's nagging that I managed to avoid both scenarios. Now that I am living alone, I miss her nagging even more. Every child thinks it's annoying when your mum nags at you but especially in an Asian society, where we seldom say "I love you" to express our love to each other openly, it’s our mums’ way of showing their love. – Xiao Ling

6. “She gave up her beauty and youth for her 3 kids”

My mummy is selfless. Even when she’s only left with $20 in her pocket, she will not mind sparing some for her kids. After looking at photos from when she was a teenager, I asked her why her skin wasn’t as good and why her teeth wasn’t as white now, and her answer just broke my heart. She said, “I’m too busy taking care of the three of you." She was so beautiful in her youth, and definitely still is, inside and out. I'm so afraid to see her grow old. Even though I don’t really express it to her, I love her so much. – Chendol Chun Li

7. “She wakes up at 5am to make us breakfast everyday”

One thing I really appreciate is how my mummy always goes the extra mile to prepare breakfast for us before school every morning at 5am. As a housewife, she could always wake up any time later but she makes a conscious effort to choose our happiness over her sleep everyday. After JC, when I spent the weekdays at home, I would see her waking up to prepare breakfast and going to sleep only after my brother leaves for school. It was only then that I realised that she would wake up early just to make breakfast for us. I was so touched and it made me realise that I should truly appreciate the small things she does for us. – Rennie Lee

8. “She carried me from the east to the west to see a doctor”

When I was young, I had a weak constitution. Even after going to several clinics, I didn’t recover. A neighbor recommended this doctor, and we had to travel from the east to the west to see him. She carried me on the bus and had to walk quite a bit. Through it all, she wasn’t in good health herself. Every night, she had to apply plasters all over her body to help her with her bodily ailments from working at rubber plantations. She suffered worry-filled, sleepless nights. I am so grateful to her. If it wasn’t for my mother’s persistence and patience, I may not be able to grow up healthily. – Tan Keith

9. “She rejects allowance money because she wants our kids to have the best instead"

My mum worked day and night just to make sure my brother and sisters have a good education. After reaching home from work, she had to do all the household chores. She also tries her best to tutor us even though she is not highly educated. Now, she has 10 grandkids from 3 of us and she has taken care of all of them. She has never wanted allowance from me for taking care of my 4 kids because she is always afraid that we do not have enough. She wants our kids to have the best instead. Besides ensuring their stomachs are filled, she even helps to ensure they do their homework and study for their exams. I really can’t thank her enough. – Grace Lim

10. “She never gave up on us despite her own pain”

An affair resulted in an ugly divorce between my parents, and my mum got custody of us. However, things went downhill from there as they sold the house and she rented a small room to stay in with my brother, while I had to find accommodation on my own. She could have chosen to just throw in the towel because of such a deep betrayal and hurt but she didn't. Instead, she held the family together the best she could through all her anger and pain. Even when she was going through the divorce, she never failed to go to the wet market weekly to cook for us and ensure we got fresh and healthy food. We've had terrible moments and emotional times but nothing will take away the fact that I have seen her steadfast, and I’ve received the unconditional love only a Mother can have for her children. – Kristyn Chan Siang

11. “She was so freaked out she carried me to the clinic for the second time”

Once, during my O-levels period, I had a severe gastric problem. I came home crying and my mum was concerned about what had happened to me. I had a paper the next day, so I wanted to study but I couldn't. The pain was intolerable. After several attempts at convincing me to see the doctor, I finally gave in. My mum carried me because I could barely walk. She then went around pleading the people in the clinic to let me go first. After I got an injection, my mum carried me back home. On the lift, I fainted. The next moment, I woke up to hear her crying and telling me to wake up. She was so freaked out that she carried me to the clinic again and asked for a referral to the hospital. But I didn't want to go, and rested at home. She slept beside me the entire night to take care of me, despite having had just 3 to 4 hours of sleep that day. The very next day, she brought me to school for my paper and even told the teacher to take good care of me. – Sherzy Tan

12. "She let me chart my own path”

Since I was old enough to start having memories, my mum would allow me to make my own choices in life. She listens and gives me advice but won't impose her views on me. Instead, she brings a new perspective to issues when I confide in her and she gives me the freedom to chart my path even though from her own experience, I was expected to fail. It would have been easier for her to cushion me than bear the heartache of me failing but she believes that failing is part and parcel of learning. When I have problems with difficult people, she encourages me to show empathy and compassion. I am often impressed by her magnanimity. I am most appreciative to have a wise mother who has shaped me into the independent woman I am today. – Hazel Seng

13. “My step-mum loved me like her own”

I grew up in a household where I had two mums living under one roof. My mum is my father’s second wife, and my step-mum was the one who looked after the house. She loved me like her own daughter. After I delivered two cute monsters, she loved them unconditionally too, as if they were her own grandsons. I’m so proud to tell people that I have a wonderful mother like her in my life. – Jas Li

14. “I am not a ‘model daughter’, but she still sings praises of me to others”

I was once an obedient and bright child. Then, I transitioned into a young delinquent. But even when I had dashed all her hopes of raising her "dream daughter", she never once gave up on me. I frequently got into trouble with authorities, slacked off on the books, and spent my time idling around with bad influence. From attending prize award ceremonies where she could be proud of my academic achievements to being called down by the school for my truancy, and waking up one day to find that I had run away from home... It was a lot of tears and heartache. Since then, I have learned from my ways and am still trying to make it up to her up till today. I am still a girl that does not fit her standards of a "model daughter". She would definitely not want me to have my tattoos and ostentatiously coloured hair if she had a choice. Still, she continues to shower me with her love everyday and sings praises of her kids in front of others. – Charmaine Wong

Appreciate Your Parents

Our mothers sacrifice their whole world for us, but don't forget our dads too. With Father's Day just round the corner, spend some time thinking about how you can show Dad some appreciation too! Also read, 12 S’poreans Reveal The Most Endearingly Embarrassing Habits Of Their Mums.
Have you ever felt paiseh from the way your mom shows her love to you? We have. When we were kids, we may not have realised the significance of the things our moms did for us. Now that we're older, we realise their love comes in many forms, from the biggest of sacrifices to the simplest of actions--even those that make us feel super paiseh.  From embarrassing us on Facebook to pronouncing things their own unique way, here are some heartwarming (and slightly embarrassing) moments these Singaporeans shared with their moms. *Some names have been changed for privacy reasons.

1. She’ll pout if I don’t hug her

She makes me hug her every day before I leave for work. If I don’t, she’ll pout and say: “Come back, never hug.” – Tyler Kor, 27

2. She calls me ‘bao bei’ in public

I’m already 30 this year, but my mom still calls me “bao bei” (Mandarin for ‘precious’) in front of people. It’s quite embarrassing but I know she means it as an endearment. – Roger, 30

3. She is very thick-skinned when it comes to discounts and freebies

My mother always asks for discounts and freebies because she wants to give us good food and freebies to try. Sometimes, even when the shop staff already said there’s no discount or freebies, she will still ask. Very malu! Also, when ordering food outside, she will ask for less oil, less sweet, and less salt over and over again. I know she does this for our health though. – Daphnie, 25

4. She likes to ‘expose’ the un-demure side of me

My room is always super messy and it’ll leave you wondering if I’m a guy living in a girl’s body. My mom always complains to my friends about my messy room. She even teases me about how she’ll reveal my un-demure side to my future boyfriend. I don’t have the guts to show anybody how bad the state of my wardrobe is but whenever there are guests in our house, my mom will ‘expose’ me and show it to them. So embarrassing! But I guess that’s her way of caring, since my messy room worsens my bad sinus. – Shi Shyan, 26

5. Her pronunciation of words is really cute

My mom pronounces ‘GB’ (gigabytes) as ‘Gib’, which isn’t wrong, but it’s wrong! She also says things like “later I apps you where we are” in reference to texting on Whatsapp, which I find really cute. – Mel, 27

6. She will ‘chope’ MRT seats for me

My mom will rush into trains and head straight for the seats and if it so happens that there’s an empty seat beside hers, she will put her hand on that seat to ‘chope’ it. Then, she will pat the seat as she waves at me and calls me to sit down. In front of staring eyes in the cabin, it’s actually very malu but I know she just wants me to rest, because I get tired easily from standing. – Bling, 26

7. She always tries to matchmake me with my friends

She will always try to matchmake me with friends I bring over. For example, there was once when I invited some close friends over for my birthday. One of whom is this girl who is very fair - a trait I think my mom likes. She started helping my mom to clean up after we ate. Obviously, my mom took a liking to that and in front of both that girl and me, my mom said that she will make a good girlfriend. Facepalm! – Li Wen, 21

8. She yells for my attention when I’m on the line

Whenever I'm on a phone call with my boyfriend, my mom will keep yelling for my attention, complaining about the untidily placed shoes, unwashed clothes and how dishes were left for to her wash, etc. Very embarrassing! – Xiang Ying, 29

9. She will walk around with a half-eaten chicken thigh

Having grown up in a time where having meat to eat was a luxury, my mom doesn't like wasting food--especially meat. If she cannot finish her food, she will tabao it home. One time, she couldn't finish her nasi padang, so she asked to tabao the chicken drumstick. We went shopping after that, so she walked around with this clear plastic bag with a chicken drumstick inside the whole time. – Yi Yang, 26

10. She’ll think that my girlfriend and I often ‘do things’ behind closed doors

Whenever my girlfriend is around, my mom will always knock on my room door and wait for a long time before opening it, or she’ll wait till we open it for her even though we shout that it’s ‘safe’ to come in. She does this 'cause she wants to give us privacy and doesn’t want to walk in on us ‘doing anything’. Little does she know that her doing that kind of makes it even more awkward sometimes. – Jay, 26

11. She likes to forward photos of me to her friends on Whatsapp

She likes to show me off in front of her friends and on Facebook. She always asks me to send her pictures of myself. She will then forward these pictures to her multiple Whatsapp groups. And she always tells me that her friends want to matchmake me with their sons. I feel so paiseh sometimes! – Zaf, 27

12. She calls me ‘sweetie’ and ‘cutie pie’ on Facebook

She likes to call me pet names on Facebook, like 'princess', 'daddy's girl', 'sweetie', and 'cutie pie’. I don’t know if she knows people can see her comments but she never stops. Also, when I was younger, my mom would get jealous when I talked to my dad. Even now, she’s a bit sensitive but it's a lot better already. – Natasha, 26

Share Your Love!

What are some of the silly things your mom does that you find quite endearing? Share them with us in the comments! Also read, S’poreans Confess The Dumbest Things They Believed As Kids – Thank God We Know Better Now.