They say your first love is the most romantic love story you'll live. That's because it will be the first time you get butterflies in your tummy, feel your heart racing, and have your breath taken away. And these intense feelings of romantic love are one of the best feelings in the world. As we tread on into 2018 and look back on the memories we’ve made and the old photos we've kept, some of us recall the nostalgic memories we had in our love lives. Like how we first fell in love, or had our first kiss. Curious, we asked some friends about how they ‘lost’ their first kiss. Here are their stories of youth and innocence.

1. Pushed Against The Wall

“I had a huge crush on this senior in secondary school. We would always be bantering during our Co-Curricular Activity (CCA) practices, and our peers would tease us about being ‘steads’ as well. I wasn’t sure if he liked me back but I was too shy to ask. One day when we were waiting for our CCA practice to start, we bumped into each other near the school toilet. There wasn’t anyone there at that time. We started chatting and teasing each other as usual, then he suddenly pushed me against the wall with both my hands up and his face right in front of mine. I was so nervous my heart was going to explode. Then he kissed me and it was such a glorious feeling.” – Emily, 26

2. Too Much Action

“I was dating my first girlfriend in secondary school and was sending her home after our third or fourth date. We were flirting and lingered at her void deck for a bit, then I decided to just go in for the kiss. I think she had been waiting for the kiss for really long because the moment our lips touch, I could feel her gasp as she pushed her tongue in, vigorously. I thought my first kiss would be a sweet and romantic one but it was so wet and sloppy, I avoided kissing her for a while." – Ken, 31

3. Centrifugal Force

“I was in secondary three and he was my senior in school. He was my first love and we had been dating for awhile. We were taking the bus back after school one day when it happened. Just when the bus was making a sharp turn, he pretended to lean over because of the centrifugal force and kissed me.  It may have been just a peck but it gave me tingles all over my body. It was even more thrilling because we were still in our school uniform. Luckily, we didn’t get caught.” – Brenda, 27

4. Naughty Prefects

“I was a prefect in Secondary school, but the ‘asshole’ kind who became one to escape from being punished for breaking rules myself. It was after school and there weren’t many people left. I was just chilling in the prefect's room with the girl I was dating, who was also a prefect. We happened to be alone and took advantage of that. I went in for the kiss and we ended up making out in the prefect's room. Best evening of my entire school life.” – Dan, 24

5. Kindergarten Lovers

“I was crying a lot at our kindergarten ballet rehearsal and wouldn’t stop no matter how my teachers tried to console me. Then this girl I liked and always played with, Sarah, came over to comfort me. She kissed my lips, hugged me and stroked my hair. She probably saw her parents do it or something, but can you imagine two toddlers doing this? Needless to say, the kiss and hug did stop me from crying.” – Eugene, 27

6. The Very Shy Girl

“I was dating this very shy girl in secondary 3. She was so shy that she would literally run away whenever she was awkward or when she didn’t know how to react. I remember asking her to be my girlfriend at Thomson Plaza and she just ran out of the mall because she didn’t know how to react. I gave her my first kiss on this very long escalator at Dhoby Ghaut. I couldn’t stand waiting anymore so I just took a step down below her, faced her, held her chin, and gave her a peck on the lips. She looked so stunned and because I did that at the beginning of the escalator, we rode down the escalator looking at each other in absolute silence. When we exited the gantry, she just walked away without saying anything and I went my way.” – Daniel, 26

7. Brace Face

“I was kind of seeing this girl back in poly. Nothing serious yet but we were going out on dates. One night, we were walking somewhere romantic and she leaned in to kiss me. We tried to continue kissing but our braces got in the way. Our teeth and braces kept ‘hitting’ each other so we gave up.” – Jordan, 30

8. Three Girls, Three Guys

"I was at a club in Taiwan with two girlfriends. In a club full of locals, guess who we danced with? Yep, Singaporeans. Not even sure how we managed to end up with Singaporeans. There were three of them too and I remember them saying it was their ORD trip. My friends and I (all at 18) lost our first kisses to those three guys, whom we don’t even remember their names of. And we didn't just kiss one guy. We were all so tipsy, I think we made out with 'each other's guy'. We took turns kissing each of them. It wasn't weird then but thinking back, on a sober mind: what the heck were we even doing?!” – Min, 21 Also read, Millennials Share Their Biggest Relationship Mistakes So You Wouldn’t Make The Same Ones.

If you're lucky, you'll meet the guy or girl of your dreams, fall in love with each other and settle down happily ever after without a hitch. But in reality, you will probably fall in love with a couple of ‘wrong people’ before you meet "The One" - at least for most of us. And the journey there will be a perilous one filled with heartbreak and regrets. Whether you're healing from a breakup, single and searching, or in a relationship, here are 8 advice on love and relationships. These millennials made these mistakes in their previous relationships, we hope you don't have to go through what they did. * Some names have been changed for privacy reasons.

“Love Someone For Who They Are”

In my first relationship, I had a whole fantasy of an ideal mate and a version of her in my mind that wasn't her. Because of that, there were expectations, which led to plenty of disappointments. I've learnt that who you envision her to be or what she is in your head isn’t necessarily who she really is in person. I've come to accept and love a person for who they really are. – Andrew, 25

“Don’t Force Yourself To Like What You Don’t Like”

Think for yourself and consider what’s best for you. You don’t have to like a certain thing just because your partner likes it. If your partner loves to game and spends a lot of time gaming but you don’t enjoy it, then don’t do it. Don’t waste time forcing yourself to grow an interest in something you obviously know you have none in. You do you and let him do his. – Mary, 26

“Keep Your Communication Between Each Other Strong”

I was in Poly Year 1 while she was in Sec 4. It was exams period and we assumed that we were both busy so we didn’t text each other as much. On hindsight, we actually had time to talk even if it’s just for awhile. From then on, we talked lesser and lesser and her feelings slowly faded away. I think that to keep a relationship alive, it’s important to keep the communication strong and make an effort to update each other on what's going on in our lives. – Neil, 20

“Don't Lose Yourself”

I always believed in giving my best or not giving at all. I wanted to make her the happiest person in the world so I gave her my all, even at my own expense. She didn't like my secondary school friends so I left them. I learnt that before you be with someone who makes you happy, you should be contented with yourself first. Remember to also love yourself. – Jun Shen, 24

“Fate plays a part”

I've learnt that soulmates are not meant to complete us but to complement us. These relationships are intended to teach lessons so that we evolve and be the catalyst for change in life. You may have met your soul mate or someone you feel a deep connection with but you have to accept that it doesn't necessarily mean you're meant to be together. Sometimes, it's who you meet that has their goals, dreams, and timings aligned with yours. – Chantel, 25

“Pay Attention To Their Actions, Not Their Words”

Someone can say they love you, but if they don't show it or if they physically, mentally or emotionally bully and harm you, that's not love. Also, how a guy talks about their mother is how they're going to treat you in their relationship. If all he has to say about his mother are negative things, you can bet that it's how he's going to talk about you to others. – Natasha, 24

“Forgive Yourself”

I have been cheated on before, cheated on someone before, and got played before. One thing I've learnt from it all is to forgive yourself because everyone makes mistakes. It's hard to say what's right or wrong in relationships, there's always a grey area. Only when you’ve forgiven yourself can you start to let go of any anger or hatred you have, and move on. Move on. There's no point replaying things in your mind wishing you had done this or that because you can't undo anything anymore. When things have already happened, move forward and learn from it. – Ling, 26

“Don’t Let Words Break You”

My ex played the blame game on me and would always guilt trip me into thinking that I was the one who hindered him in things like opportunities to study overseas or enjoying outdoor activities. On the contrary, I had never stopped him from doing what he wanted. His words really affected me, until I found out that he cheated on me and had used all these hurtful comments as excuses to break up with me. If your relationship ended badly, don’t let the words your ex said get to you. Don’t let your ex or other people guilt trip you, and don’t let your insecurities stop you from healing and moving on. – Lydia, 27

Be A Stronger You

Just like how you take away a learning point from a good book or movie, you take a piece of your experience with you as you close a chapter in your (romantic) life. A piece that forms who you are in time to come. Just like these millennials who shared the lessons they’ve learnt from their past relationships, you will grow wiser and stronger. From millennial to millennial, we hope this advice help. And when you’ve grown stronger as a person, you’ll be ready to meet your other half over here. Also read, 8 Confession Stories That Are Like RL Versions Of Taiwanese High School Dramas.

When you have a crush on someone, you think about them 24/7. You'll catch yourself sneaking peeks at them and getting overly-excited whenever they like any of your Instagram photos. But as much as you like them and hope they feel the same way about you too, it can be nerve-racking to think about confessing – what if they reject you? Then again, the only way to go from social media stalker to potential love interest is to just do it – confess and pray for the best. We spoke to our friends on how they’ve confessed to someone they liked, or how they’ve been confessed to. Here’re 8 of the cutest confessions.

1. “He sent my photo back and said, ‘this girl’”

“Back then, we both already knew we liked each other. We were texting regularly and there were many small hints here and there but we just hadn’t confess. When I went to Taiwan for a holiday, I sent him some photos of me as I think he missed me. He replied, "omg I kept staring at the photo and walked into a lamp post". The second time I sent him photos, he said, "wah I keep looking at your photo and I went up to level 4 when I stay at level 3." After that, he tweeted something like ‘miss u’. When I asked him who he misses and who he likes, he sent my photo back and said, “This girl.”” – Jiaqian, 21

2. “Team Captains of the track team’”

“He was the team captain for the boy's track team and I was the team captain for the girl's track team so our peers always joked and tried to ‘stir shit’ about us being together. I liked him since poly year one but he was quite dense and couldn’t tell. We went out on a date once and texted occasionally but it didn’t go further than that. I still had a big crush on him so one night, I told myself that I was going to confess to him no matter. If he said yes, I'll go for ZoukOut to celebrate. And if he rejects me, I'll still go for ZoukOut – to party my woes away. I confessed over the phone and I was nervous AF. He said he appreciated my thoughts and my feelings and that’s it. Then I said, "Great! Thanks for acknowledging, I just wanted to get this off my chest,” then we hung up. Thankfully, he called me back and said that it was so sudden for him but he also likes me. That was 5 years ago. Today, we are married. ” – Vic, 25

3. “He sent me food via ‘homing pigeon’ service”

“We both stay in Yishun. There was once I was feeling a little under the weather and had also casually mentioned that I love ham and cheese sandwiches. He said that he will send a homing pigeon over to my place with ‘the cure’ and we laughed at it as it seemed like a joke. A while later, he told me that the homing pigeon had delivered something to me. I thought he was still joking, until I checked my doorstep and saw the Tupperware of ham and cheese sandwiches and a tube of Redoxen for my sore throat. He cycled to my house just to surprise me with the 'care package'. He didn’t exactly confess per se, but it was kind of a confirmation to me that he likes me.” – Jamie, 26

4. “You are 'my class monitress'”

“We were classmates in Secondary School. Every month, our form teacher would change the class monitor and monitress so more students could experience leading the class. She was my partner-in-crime when we were elected the monitor and monitress for that month. Subconsciously, I started to fall for her when we worked together, but it was only nearing the end of our month when I realise I was going to miss her as more than just friends. We were texting on a friendly basis then, so I texted her that I was going to miss being the class monitor. Then I added that more importantly, that I was so happy she was 'my class monitress'. She said she was very happy that she got to be the monitress with me too, and asked which monitress I thought was the best so far. I said her, and that I wished we could be the moniter and monitress permanently so I could see her and spend more time with her. Good times." - Chong, 28

5. “He baked 'extra' cookies and gave it to me”

“We met through a school camp and have been texting for a while. One day, he told me that he had baked extra cookies and packed some for me. I dropped by an MRT station to pick it up from him on the way home. I thanked him for the free cookies and he patted my head before I walked away – that made me suspect something already. I opened up the package after I left and sure enough, there was a card inside and on it was his confession. I thought it was really sweet, but I only saw him as a friend and nothing more.” – Zhen Ni, 26

6. “He tricked me into giving him my locker combination”

“We were in JC. He asked for my locker combination to borrow a textbook and when I checked my locker afterwards, there was a box of chocolates inside. My first thought was: cool, chocolates. Then I took it and went home, only to realise it was a confession when my friends reminded me that it was Valentine’s Day. I thanked him the next day and gave him a small gift back just to be nice. I made the gift for like 10 people and just decided to make one more for him.” – Sammie, 25

7. “April’s Fool!”

“There was this guy in church who I had a crush on for a long time. I think he liked me too but there was never any proof. We talk once in a while but nothing more. One day, he called me at midnight. When I picked it up, he said, “Esther, I really need to tell you something. I like you.” For a moment, my heart skipped a beat and I was so nervous. Then I heard his friend’s laughter on the line, “April’s Fool!” I texted him later on that day and playfully asked if he was serious and that if he was, I liked him too. The banter went on for a bit before we realised that we liked each other for real.” – Esther, 25

8. “I love you… as a friend”

“We had been best friends for awhile and would even have long conversations on the phone. After a long conversation one night, I texted him, "I love you." Then I added, "as a friend," to save myself from potential embarrassment. I was so nervous the whole night because I didn't know how he would react. In the morning, he replied, “I love you too. You’re like a special friend to me.” That was 8 years ago. We are getting married next year.” – Sally, 25

Tell Them You Like Them!

If you think about it in another way, there’s a 50% chance that they may like you as well. You’ve got nothing to lose anyway because you’re not going to get anywhere if s/he doesn’t know how you feel either. But of course, don’t be a creep. Talk to them and get to know one another a little better before you go on telling them they are The One for you. And if you need some help in meeting or getting to know a potential love interest better, try here! Also read, Then & Now: Photos Of 9 Longtime Singapore Couples That Prove True Love Still Exists.

Being single’s great. You have the freedom to do anything you want, whenever you want.

When all your friends start to get attached and you’re the only one left on the shelf, you tend to notice the ‘coupley things’ they do. More so than ever, these lovey-dovey exchanges between the lovebirds bother you.

As much as you’re sincerely happy for them, there are times you wish you could deck them in the face for behaving as such.

You try not to react to their cheesy banter, but that doesn’t mean you’re comfortable with them cooing at each other in your presence.

It can be hard to tell a friend that they’re being super gross though. So we reached out to our single friends and put together a list of typical things Singapore couples do that annoys them. A list you can use to drop subtle hints on your (cringey) couple friends.

Dear couples, stop:

1. Calling Each Other Cringey Pet Names

It makes us mildly uncomfortable to hear one friend call the other friend ‘dear’, ‘darling’, or even ‘baby’, but we’re still cool with it - we probably just need time to get used to it.

But when you start calling each other “princess”, “dear dear”, or “bii bii” from across the room, it’s tough for us to not cringe.

2. Talking To Your Partner In THAT Voice

We’re just amazed at how someone can talk (and behave) like a dominant leader with us, yet go all soft and talk with the voice of a ‘super kawaii’ anime girl in front of her boyfriend. It's even worse when it's the guy who goes soft in front of his girlfriend.

Don’t act cute leh.

3. The Extreme PDA

Control your hormones, can? Stop. Touching. Each. Other.

It’s super awkward for us when you keep touching, hugging, and playing tongue wrestle while you’re on the train. Or anywhere really, when you’re hanging out with us.

4. Talking About Bae And Relationships ALL The Time

When you bring up your Bae or relationship in every single topic, it makes us feel like you’re subtly showing off your ‘in-love status’ at every opportunity.

We’re not jealous of you, but we wonder if your relationship is all that defines you.

5. Asking Bae For Permission Before Doing ANYTHING

You do not belong to your Bae.

It’s understandable if you’re heading out with people of the opposite sex, but do you really have to ask Bae if you can go for dinner and shopping with your girlfriends - or for the guys, drinks with your buddies? There’s a line between letting Bae know what’s going on in your life and being a puppet y'know.

6. Last Minute Pangseh Us For Bae

It’s annoying enough to have someone fly aeroplane on gatherings that have been planned weeks ago. But it’s even more irritating when you’re ditching us to have dinner with your Bae because s/he's having a bad day.

Priorities.

7. Being Inseparable (And Insufferable)

It’s called a girls/boys night out for a reason. It’s not for us to see you guys flirt with each other at one corner while we have girls/boys talk. 

8. Arguing In Front Of Everyone

We’re all for healthy ‘arguments’ in a relationship, but not when we're supposed to be out having a good time with the group.   

You wouldn’t want to see your parents argue in front of you. Likewise, we don’t want to see you guys screaming at each other over ridiculous disputes while we try to cajole the both of you.

9. Airing Your Dirty Laundry On Social Media

The world has so many things to worry about, and your emo selfies and rants aren’t one.

You’re just making yourself look pitiful by telling everyone that s/he broke your heart, and not in a good way. Your Bae won't be happy to see you air your grievances about her/him online either. 

10. Flaunting Your Love On Social Media

Similarly, please stop flooding your Instagram or Facebook with all your couple selfies. We get that these photos are sweet memories, but it gets annoying when every single post on your feed is of the two of you in embrace.

What’s worse is when they come with captions like how sweet your boyfriend is or how in love you are.

And these cheesy comments: “Baby I love you so much.” “Aww baby, I love you more.”

Guys, can y’all just text each other privately?

11. Planning Couples-Only Activities

Yes, we are a little sad for being the only single one left in the clique. But please stop feeling bad for us because that’s only going to annoy us even further.

Like you guys talking about couple dates, only to go, “oh no, but you’re single, shit I’m so sorry, but it’s okay, you can come too if you want.”

We know that you feel bad. We appreciate that you still consider our feelings. And we really don’t mind being the odd one out in the group. But after the guilt-induced invitation, we also know that we’d be a burden if we do join in.

12. Acting Annoyed When Your Partner Surprises You

This one's mainly for the ladies:

When your boyfriend sends you flowers for no particular reason, don’t go around saying things like, “why he so boliao, waste money on this kind of things,” only to post a photo of it up on Instagram an hour later captioned, “So touched that Baby sent me this.”

Don't Be So Cheesy

There’re still plenty more, but this list pretty much sums up the main bulk of our annoyance. We get that you’re smitten. We love the strong chemistry and bond you guys have, but we'd prefer if you keep’em between the both of you. Spare us.

But if you’re looking for someone to do all these grossly sweet things with you, you can try looking for love here.

How about you? What are some things couples do that annoys you?

Also read, Then & Now: Photos Of 9 Longtime Singapore Couples That Prove True Love Still Exists.

You can never really judge from first impressions. The kindest of souls could be heavily covered in tattoos and piercings, and the most malicious could be leaders at welfare groups. Be it in romance or friendship, some of us tend to attract or be attracted to the ‘wrong’ people. Some, we’d avoid due to the bad vibes we get right from the start. Then, there are those who’d gradually become toxic even though they were angels at the beginning. It could be an abusive lover or an obsessive friend, but unhealthy relationships will take its toll on anyone over time, sucking away our energy and killing us slowly from the inside. For 5 Singapore millennials who have walked away from a toxic relationship, the emotional (and some, physical) scars will never really go away, but at least life’s much better now. *All names have been changed for privacy reasons.

“He Yelled Right Up In My Face Like A Drill Sergeant”

He was a boyfriend from uni who had a big ego, a serious anger management issue, and very stubborn – it was either his way or the high way. I was constantly walking on egg shells when I was with him and angry outbursts was a norm. From taking a fry from his plate to making a casual remark, the smallest things would set him off. It’d lead to him shouting and even throwing things at me. He'd yell at me like a drill sergeant up close in my face while I was backed into a corner, “if you didn't make me angry I wouldn't have shouted (or broken that, or thrown this).” And I would beg for his forgiveness. He chipped glassware, broke my bedside table, and dented my door. He made me cry on my birthday because I glanced at his phone (which was lying around) when a message came in. I went to my birthday dinner with a splotchy face and eyes red and swollen. I couldn't cry in front of him either. I had to hide in the bathroom to cry because he would see me anywhere else in the house and make that a whole other issue. Good days were good but bad days made me want to hurt him and myself. Everything was emotional and mental. I had to graduate and move back to Singapore (away from him) before I could break up with him. I was scared of him doing anything to me or himself if I was still around. Even after, he’d spam call me at work, livid from the breakup and threatening to kill himself. Moving on from the relationship, I realised my number one priority is me. It may sound selfish but I learnt to put my body and state of mind first. I learnt to say "no", and that a guy who doesn't respect you, who mistreats you, and who doesn't see you as their equal, is a guy not worth spending a second with. – Nellie, 24

“'WTF Is Your Problem?' Was Her Reaction To The Littlest Things”

On the second year of our relationship, she no longer wanted to do the things we both used to enjoy together. She'd constantly come up with excuses not to do things with me. Whenever I suggested spending time together, she'd scold me for being needy, “don't you have other people to bother?" She'd get agitated very easily, threatening to end the relationship over the smallest disagreements. "If you're not happy, then break up" became a common phrase in her vocabulary. She would belittle me and make fun of my flaws and insecurities in front of my friends and even lecturers (we were schoolmates). It got to a point where people asked how I was able to deal with a person like her. They started to perceive me as a 'weakling' and that I wasn't ‘the man in the relationship', which really affected my self-confidence. The relationship became an endless cycle of bickering. Whenever I tried to talk things out nicely, she’ll react with this exact phrase: “WTF is your problem”. Even the most innocuous of questions would set her off – I’d casually asked who she was going out with and she'd go, “WTF is your problem”. She’d assume that I had a problem with who she was going out with, which would escalate into a huge argument with her bringing up past arguments. It was mentally and physically draining, but I held on. I believed in her and hoped that things would improve. I wasn’t one to just give up on things. Nearing the end, I surprised her with a trip to Japan in hopes that it’ll salvage our relationship. I had even bought all the tickets and accommodation. But she got angry instead. She was pissed that I planned it without her knowledge because she said she didn’t really want to go overseas (even though we did have plans for a grad trip awhile back). She left me for good a month ago. Despite being the saddest I've ever been, a little part of me is relieved that it's over. I’m thankful that she ended the relationship, as it’s something I never had the courage to do. If there's one thing I learnt out of this, it’s that not everything I lose is a loss. – Damien, 20

“He Was A Good Person To Gossip With, But Not A Friend”

I’ve been friends with S for almost 2 years and we were pretty close. S was a very gossipy kind of guy, so our clique and I saw him as another ‘girlfriend’. He'd always dig out negative stuff from people to gossip about, but he never saw the possibility of being a ‘toxic person’ himself. I don’t usually share my personal problems with others when I’m sad, but I was facing a relationship problem this once and needed to talk to someone about it. After being a close friend to S for 2 years, I decided I could open up to him. We met for over 5 hours where I shared my problems with him. He advised me to break up with my then boyfriend. I felt things weren’t that bad to just end a relationship over, so S suggested a timeout. I thought about it and agreed that a timeout could work, so that was what I did after. My boyfriend pacified me a few days into our time out and we made up. But when I told S the good news, he was angry that I was on good terms with my boyfriend so quickly. S said that this whole thing was bullshit and that I totally wasted his time when I shared my problems with him. He asked me not to look for him anymore because I wasted his time. I was shocked and upset as I had never shared my personal problems with him before. After I clarified that with him and assured him that I won’t ever look for him again, he just did a 360-turn and said that I could still look for him if I wanted. The second incident happened when S told me we should meet up with a common friend, J, before J enlisted. I said okay. S said he would get back to me after he confirmed the meet-up with J. Time went by, S never got back, and I had forgotten about it. On the day we were supposed to meet, S asked about what the plans were for that day. I felt bad that I forgot and had already made plans, so I asked S to relay my apology to J. S wanted me to apologise to J myself instead, so I did. Turns out that S didn't even tell J about the meetup. So I was behaving like an idiot apologising to J about a meetup that wasn’t even going to happen. When I confronted S about it, he said, "I knew you won’t have time for him one what." He found it fun to see me acting like an idiot and laugh at me over it. It was almost like an elaborate prank he set up to make me embarrass myself because he enjoyed ‘the drama’ that came out of it. – Jess, 21

“She HAD To Be Part Of All My Social Circles”

I have been very close to X since we were 15. She was my go-to friend for anything from hanging out to sharing personal problems, and is generally a fun and loyal person. However, there were always things that stopped me from seeing her as my best friend. It started off mild with random anger outbursts or being triggered by littlest things during secondary school. But that part of her went away as we grew older. Then, I started noticing that she’d always work towards ‘doing better’ than me. She had even picked up a particular interest I had – one she used to say she didn’t understand, couldn’t appreciate, and “just not (her) thing”. It seemed like she did it just so she could have ‘the same skill’ I had, or that she just wanted to be a part of that particular interest group. Meanwhile, I knew she still didn’t really like that interest even after picking it up (she told me). She was very possessive and insecure. She had to know whoever I was friends with. And if I went out with our mutual friends without her, she’d get upset that we didn’t ask her along. She had to be part of all my social circles else she’d use her ‘best friend card’ and say that she’s left out. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have other friends either. She had plenty. Once, she got so jealous when a guy she had a crush on started texting me, she stopped talking to me. I did eventually stop texting that guy after ghosting him, but when I tried texting her, she never replied. Just like that, we ‘stopped being friends’ for awhile. It was upsetting that she didn’t trust me enough to know that I would never get close to any guys romantically if it was her love interest. When we started working together, she got jealous that I was closer to our other colleague than she was to him. She was upset that he texted me about non-work stuff but not her. Also, both the guy colleague and I were already attached, so we were merely chatting casually. She’d want to read my messages with him, I’d let her, and then she’d get even more jealous after. While I’d thank her for being a large part of my growing up and forming a piece of who I am today, I’m glad I had the guts to properly ‘end a friendship’ with someone this possessive, insecure, and incredibly volatile. – Barbara, 26

“I Lived In Constant Fear Of Being Hit And Burnt By Cigarette Butts”

He was my 2^nd boyfriend and the one whom I gave my virginity to. The start was rainbow and butterflies but we started arguing a lot over stupid things 4 months in. Only then did I realise that this guy has a bad temper. He started abusing me verbally which soon became physical too. The first time he laid hands on me was when we were arguing and I retorted at him. He walked back and slapped me across my face. He became extremely possessive, controlling what I wore and who I hung out with. We’d even fight over me saying "hi" to a male classmate. He started hitting me more. He'd even push me against the wall and burn my hands with cigarette butts. Even then, I chose to stay with him. The peak of the abuse was when he met up with his ex just so they could call to mentally and emotionally torture me. While I had so many chances to walk away, I chose to stay. I would walk into class with slap marks on my face and eyes bloodshot from crying. People asked why I chose to stay but it really wasn’t easy when any hint of a break up would turn into a war zone between us. Threats to contact my parents and friends just told me to shut up and stick by him. It finally ended when I realised my grades were dropping drastically. I didn’t want my parents to find out about it and moreover, I didn’t want to live in constant fear that anything would result in a big slap or worse. Plus, I found out that he was also seeing another girl. Given that I gave so much to him, ending the relationship hit me hard. I started partying, drinking, and going home drunk. This ratchet life went on for 1.5 years before I told myself to snap out of it and get a grip of life because there’s so much more to it than feeling sorry for myself. This relationship really gave me trust issues. I became extremely guarded towards relationships and I could no longer love anyone 100%. Even till this day, I still have a visible scar from what he had done to me. Instead of crying over it, I take it as a reminder that life will throw you shitty things but what matters is how you deal with it. – Perlyn, 26

Tough Times Don’t Last, Tough People Do

No matter how toxic a relationship becomes, it can be very hard to walk away from people you were so close to. But when you do, you’ll walk away so much stronger and wiser a person. You’ll learn to love yourself more because only then can you <a href=" loving another person. Also read, 9 Moments In National Day History That Made Us Damn Proud To Be Singaporean.  

We used to think that once you pass a certain mark, like 2 or 3 years into a relationship, it will last forever. But in a time where things like work (or DOTA) can take precedence over replying a text message from our other half, it can be tough to maintain a relationship. We realised how common it is for relationships to fail despite the years. Just within our social circles, we've friends who had to abruptly close a major chapter of their love life – just like that, 6, 8, and even 9 year’s worth of time can become nothing more than just bittersweet memories. It made us wonder: can a relationship really last in this era? We sought out to find the answers, and we found them in photos of our longtime couple friends. Here are the photos that captured the essence of love and growth, of when they first started dating compared to them today.

"We Treasure The Smallest Things"

Nicholas & Jasmine – 9 Years Together The biggest "challenge" has to be keeping the relationship and romance going and constantly nurturing it, as it is easy to get so used to each other that we take things for granted. The smallest and simplest things in relationships that get overlooked are often the main reasons for deteriorating relationships. We both do our best to make sure we are aware of this and we treasure one another. Communication is something we both hold dearly as our foundation. We're able to be honest with our feelings and come to an understanding to resolve problems together. The smallest actions like kisses and hugs count too. Or showing appreciation by making each other our favourite drinks, or watching our favourite movie when either of us feels down make a difference.

"He's Always The Bigger Person, And She's Appreciative"

Samantha & Jeremy – 7 Years Together To Samantha, a big part of keeping the relationship going is because of him: “He's so gracious, patient and accepting of my shortcomings; especially my possessiveness and temper. If I dated myself, I would have dumped my ass a long time ago.” When there are unhappiness and quarrels, it's very difficult to come to a compromise. It’s difficult to find a solution and makeup when both of us are upset. We both know it and he’s usually the bigger person who puts emotions aside and initiate for us to make up.

"We Trust Each Other, And Never Carry An Argument Overnight"

Cherie & Shao Yong – 6 Years Together If we can wrap up the essence of our relationship, it is trust and communication. On trust: we don’t give each other any reason to doubt. We are completely transparent with each other and this builds up the robust level of trust we have in each other. We are comfortable enough to not interfere or restrict each other's own social life too. On communication: whenever don’t meet, we make it a point to still call each other every night to talk about our day or even just to say goodnight. Whenever we argue, we make sure that we only move on after we have accepted each other’s feelings and made peace with it. We never carry an argument overnight.

"It's Normal For Us To Fight, But We Forgive And Move On"

Matthew & Li Ying – 4.5 Years Together Throughout the years, we've learnt to deal with each other's annoying habits. For example, I have learnt to deal with Li Ying being a grammar Nazi and correcting mistakes mid-sentence, while she has learnt to wait for me to take the perfect photo of food before we can eat. So there’s a lot of acceptance, patience, and understanding. It’s normal for us to fight a lot, but at the same time, there is a lot of forgiveness in our relationship.

"We Choose To Love Each Other Even When We 'Hate' Each Other"

Mieko & CJ – 8 Years Together The fact that we have been together since he was 20 and I, 16, we've gone through so many milestones together: studies, NS, work, and eventually the unexpected appearance of baby Dayna. We definitely have had many arguments and major fights, and it resulted in a lot of heartbreak. We can’t specifically pinpoint any particular reason or factor that kept us going through it all. However, it truly boils down to loving each other the 'right' way – being able to love each other even when you ‘hate’ each other. Love is a choice, and choosing to love someone is not easy. It's a choice we make every day, through thick and thin.

"Two Headstrong Personalities, But We Compromise"

Ryan & Jia Yi – 8 Years Together Honesty and compromise play a big part in our relationship. We are both very headstrong personalities and if we hadn't made conscious efforts to compromise with each other, we honestly wouldn't have made it this far. Also, one of the major hurdles we had (and I'm sure many couples have) was the assumption that the other party would automatically understand our needs and desires. We're not mind-readers and we’ve learnt to make efforts to tell each other why we're upset instead of just begrudging each other for not "getting it".

"We Stay Cheesy With Verbal Compliments"

Pat & John – 9 Years Together Just like other couples, we've been through many milestones together. Completing NS, buying a house, proposal, and wedding planning are just some. But one of the biggest challenges for us was riding the waves of my (Pat's) anxiety issues together. Throughout my darkest times, John stuck by me. He fought along with me, and for me. One of our common love languages is words of affirmation. Verbal compliments and appreciation can go a long way, and after dating for 9 years, we're still cheesy as ever.

"We Laugh At Each Other, And We Laugh Together"

Celine & Ivan – 4 Years Together There's a lot of love and patience between us. We understand each other’s personalities and accommodate not just to each other but also our families. We do silly things together, laugh at each other and laugh together. We learn together and grow together as individuals and also as a couple.

"We Address Our Problems As Best Friends And Lovers"

Shane and Nikki – 18 Years Together We’ve gone through so much together from secondary school and university to surviving army days. We’ve gotten married and built up our first home, and now, celebrating the birth of our first child. We've always been best friends so our friendship laid a strong foundation for the relationship, and we are able to communicate really well with one another on so many grounds. It’s important and helps us address our problems together instead of running away from them.

Keep The Faith Alive

Granted, love isn’t just rainbows and butterflies. While it takes a large amount of effort and work to sustain a relationship, these couples have proven that it still is possible. And the benefits you reap from a happy, lasting relationship is worth every fight for. On the other hand, if you’re searching for someone to fight alongside you on your life journey, you can try your luck <a href=" Also read, These 15 Married Couples’ Wedding Hashtags Are 1000X Better Than Yours.

Figuring out my sexuality was a struggle. As most LGBTQ will attest, there are no surefire signs, no criteria, no checkboxes you can go through to determine whether or not you’re it. The only way to figure it out is to live your life, feel what you feel, and eventually, piece it all together—at least that’s how it happened for me.

Just A Phase?

Growing up, I was always a tomboy. I went to an all girls’ primary school and my schoolmates would often tease me and make fun of me for it. At the time, I thought nothing of it. When I was 10, I became really close to a girl. We were best friends in school and would hang out together all the time. I felt like I liked her more than just a friend. But of course, at that age, I didn’t understand it. Thereafter, I had some innocent crushes on girls as a pre-teen and teenager, but I didn’t think too much of that either. As I was trying to understand why I had such feelings, I spoke to my mum and siblings about these girl crushes. We all believed it was a phase I would eventually grow out of. As I grew older, I had my fair share of guy friends, but I never liked them as more than just bros. And as time went by, I gradually realized that I was different.

Keeping A Part Of Me A Secret

It was a very different time back when I thought I might be gay. It wasn’t a big social issue. There was very little talk about sexuality in the media and in society, and not many people were gay—at least, not that I was aware of. I didn’t personally know anyone who was gay. Because it seemed so rare back then, I worried constantly about how people would perceive me and treat me if they found out I was gay. I was also afraid of how it would affect the people around me; I was scared that people would treat the ones close to me differently because of their friendship with me. As a teenager, whenever I went to church, I felt like I had to change. I tried to change, tried to feel differently. And when I couldn’t, I buried my feelings and kept them to myself. When nothing worked, I got upset with myself. I was angry that I didn’t change. Now, I realise it’s because I couldn’t. This is just the way I am. Being gay and having no one to talk to about it, it was tough, trying to make sense of how I felt and why I felt that way. I avoided thinking about it, and when I did share my struggles with those who accepted me for who I am, it felt like no one truly understood. For a long time, I felt alone and wished I knew someone who shared the same difficulties and challenges as me. Eventually, after a long and hard struggle with myself, I came to terms with the fact that I was “different”. I knew there was no running away from me.

Loved, Supported, And It Meant Everything

My mum and siblings were the first few people I came out to. It wasn’t a complete surprise to them, considering that I spoke to them about the girl crushes I had in the past. It was my dad I was more afraid to tell, because he’s a bit sterner. It took me a while longer, but eventually, I summoned up the courage to come out to him when I was 24 or 25. I still remember how scared and nervous I was up to the point I actually said the words to him. In the weeks that followed, I could tell that he was trying his best to understand it – to understand why I was this way. I felt bad that I, too, couldn’t explain how this happened.

Not Everyone Understands

Even though the people that matter most to me accepted me for who I was, not everyone received the news well. I’ve had my fair share of nasty reactions from friends and even complete strangers on the street. In fact, just recently, when I was out shopping at a mall, the mother of a little girl followed me just to tell me how offensive and gross it was that I didn’t ‘dress like a girl’ or have long hair. She wanted me to apologise for scaring her daughter with my ‘lesbian appearance’. Apparently, the little girl had asked her mum why my hair was so short. It wasn’t about how I looked or how I behaved; my hair alone was enough reason for her to come up to me to confront me. I ignored her remarks and tried to get away, but she followed me and made harsh remarks about my lifestyle, saying things like, “I don't care about how you choose to live your life but say sorry for confusing my daughter and making her scared.” Dirty looks from strangers are normal for me. So are harsh words from the people around. Even though I’m proud of who I am, things like these sometimes still get to me.

Still The Same Person, Regardless Of My Sexuality

Accepted or not, it was good to get everything off my chest; coming to terms with who I was and being able to say it out loud to the people I love liberated me. Those who stuck around realised that beyond the label of ‘lesbian’, I was still the same person with the same heart and character. I am still the same Sam Koh, regardless of who I fall in love with. I’m 29 years old, a barista at my own café and I’m also happily attached to my partner Roslyn. We’ve been together for about 8 months now, and I’ve never been happier. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for some of the people I know who have been forced to stay in the closet and to put up a front all their lives because their families do not approve. Everyday, I know how fortunate I am to have people around me who accept me exactly as I am. I am more than grateful for a family who lets me figure out my life on my own.

LGBT In Singapore

Being lesbian has definitely left me feeling lonely and excluded at times. Still, I wouldn’t wish away the things I’ve experienced and the fact that I’m gay. I, and the LGBTQ community, are not gay just because we want to be different. We’re not here to challenge heterosexuality. We’re not asking anyone to be gay. We just want to be accepted for who we are. At the end of the day, we are just regular human beings who want to be able to love who we love, free of condemnation. To have people frown upon your relationship is just like having parents who don’t approve of who you're dating, but worse. We have total strangers disapproving of our choices too. It’s frustrating. Thankfully, times are changing and so are attitudes. Still, there is more to be done. I hope one day, people will be more open and accepting. I hope one day, people will see beyond the labels and the prejudice, and realise that all we want is the freedom to love. - To show our support for the freedom to love, we will be publishing stories under our new series My Sexuality, My Right. In it, we share the journeys of Singaporeans who are fighting for their right to love, and who embrace their LGBTQ identity. Also read, Sexual Harassment Not That Unusual – S’porean Girls Reveal Their Nasty Encounters With Perverts.

These days, you can no longer assume a couple will get married just because they've been together for a long time.  We all know of people who've had to say goodbye to long-term relationships--1 year, 2 year, and even 5 year relationships.  The sad truth is there are times when you just don't figure into someone else's future. Perhaps it's because they're not ready to take the relationship to the next level; perhaps you've grown apart, and the love you once shared fizzled out. In real life, things just doesn't pan out the way they do in the movies. We reached out to 6 Singaporean millennials and asked them to share why they ended things with their long-time lovers. Here are their heartfelt stories. 

1. “He started saying things like women belong in the kitchen”

He started passing snarky comments like how women should be in the kitchen, making food for the family, or how we should be seen with a broom in our hands. It may seem like nothing, but over time, I started to realise how misogynistic he was as a person. What’s worse, he would say it in front of my brother, and my brother started making such remarks himself. Not cool. He had a great personality, likeable with friends and respectful with family. But I just couldn’t see a future with a man who’s so misogynistic. – Sammie, 25, 2 year relationship

2. “She went on a full day hike with a guy she knew I didn’t like and only told me afterwards”

She decided to go on a full day hike alone with this guy, and I was not informed. Furthermore, she didn’t reply or answer any of my messages and phone calls. She only told me about it when she got home at the end of the day. Her rationale for not telling me was "I knew you would be pissed if I told you." She knew full well that I didn’t like the guy, because I knew he was quite a player.  Going on a hike with that guy without my knowledge, ignoring me the entire day and confessing to me only after – I had no idea what to make of it. Yes, I would have gotten upset if she had told me beforehand but I wouldn't forbid her from going if she really wanted to. I really didn't like that she used my feelings against me. That was the start of the end. – Neo, 30, 2 year relationship

3. “He wanted a trophy wife - a pretty, young thing”

I once dated a significantly older man. He was mature, charismatic, independent, and free-spirited. He taught me a lot about how to see the world and how to love. Strangely, he wanted the polar opposite in a partner: a trophy wife – a pretty, young thing. I really liked him but definitely couldn't see a future with him. We never talked about our status as a couple. Throughout the relationship, I would tell myself that I deserved more than someone who was so non-committal. We went out for close to a year, and I figured he was seeing other people throughout that time. I knew it wasn’t going to work out because I am not the ‘trophy wife’ type. I couldn’t fully let go of him until I realised that I liked him because I saw in him who I wanted to be. That made me come to the realisation that having someone around to curb your loneliness and to project your dreams on is not the same thing as love.  I’ve since grown to be the things I used to like in him: independent, confident, open-minded. I've seen him on the street once with another girl but didn't flinch. I just felt sad for him because I don't think he has one thing that I have: the ability to truly love someone 100%. – Tammy, 26, 1 year relationship

4. “He ‘don’t know’ if I’m in any part of his future plans”

Throughout the 5 years I was with him, we hardly spoke about our future plans. He would brush it off whenever I brought it up. I didn’t harp on it as he hated discussing this topic, and heart-to-heart talks in general. He felt like it was a bit too deep for him. At one point, I decided it was about time we had a proper discussion. I asked if he had any plans to settle down and he said he had no plans of doing so anytime soon. I reasoned that it didn’t have to to be now, but perhaps in two years time. He said it was too early for him and that he didn’t want to plan for marriage. He always hated talking about marriage and I didn’t know why. He said that I was pressuring him. I wanted to settle down by 30, but he had no timeline at all. I asked if I was in any part of his future plans, and he just said, “I don’t know.” He was 28 when that happened. In two years, he’d have been 30 and we would have been together for 7 years. If we had just started dating or even when I was 25 (and him, 26), I would understand if it was too early for talk about marriage. But I think at the age of 27, I need to map out my future already. The thought of having to get to know someone else all over again sucks, but it beats continuing a relationship with someone I don’t even know if I’ll be able to settle down with. – Zaf, 27, 5 year relationship

5. “We wanted different things in the relationship and in life”

We started talking about the future, and the conversation became about what we were looking for in our future lives together. I realised we wanted different things and that we were two different types of people. I'm an extroverted person. I gain my energy from social interactions and from conversations. He needed personal space and a quiet woman who does her job in the background. It wasn't until we were talking about buying a house that I felt something was wrong. He wanted the kind of wife the Chinese call "small woman (小女人)"; someone who'd listen to him. I wanted a life where we would support each other in our respective areas. He always had this air about him, like he thought he knew better because he was older. The moment he said what I wanted was too idealistic, and that what he wanted was realistic, I knew it wasn't going to work out. – Phyllis, 24, 1.5 year relationship

6. “When I felt disgusted at the thought of kissing him, which was really weird”

I think it’s true when people say NS is a true test of a relationship. We had been together for over 2 years and he was serving his NS. We had much less time together, and during the times we did meet, I spent most of the time watching him sleep at home. I began to get irritated by the smallest things he did and didn’t do. It was a dilemma for me because I wanted more from him, while at the same time knowing it wasn’t fair for me to demand much from a guy who’s already so tired when out from camp. I started to question if I was with him because it was comfortable or because I actually loved him. I didn’t want to be an ass and leave him while he was still serving, but when I started feeling disgusted whenever we kissed, I knew I no longer had the feelings I used to have for him. – Belinda, 26, 2 year relationship

No Future Together

We all have our own reasons for ending things with our partners, no matter how long we were with them. From the stories above, it seems like it all boils down to one common factor: not being able to see a future together. After all, what’s the point of staying in a relationship if either of you can’t imagine spending your lives with the other? Not only will you waste your youth, you’ll be wasting precious time and passing up chances to meet the <a href=" right one’. Also read, These 15 Married Couples’ Wedding Hashtags Are 1000X Better Than Yours!

A wedding is only as good as its hashtag. Well, maybe not, but they sure are fun to think about in light of the 100 other details you need to take care of for your impending wedding. Wedding hashtags show the couple's personality, are functional, letting you see the photos your guests have taken, and of course, are the creative embodiment of two become one. Common among young couples, there are even <a href=" hashtag generators out there to help you come up with an innovative hashtag for your big day! In need of some inspiration for your own wedding? Here are 15 of the smartest, most creative hashtags we found that deserve a special shout-out.

1. #JincomPATible

Taking the ‘Jin’ from Pei Jin and the ‘Pat’ from Patrick, this couple came up with this. “Jin” is Hokkien for “very”, so the hashtag reads to mean “very compatible”.

2. #LimmingTheDream

A play on the groom’s surname “Lim”, these lovebirds are now living the dream.

3. #TheAudBentureBegins

The adventure of AUDrey and BEN begins.

4. #OnceInALifeTham

Those who’ve been following the founder of online fashion store Vaingloriousyou, Tricia Ong, will know this one. “Tham” is used to replace time because it’s the groom’s surname.

5. #ChewgetherFioever

The groom’s surname is Chew, and he will be together forever with Fiona.

6. <a href=" Feel the love of Philipp and Lavon.

7. #HansGotCharmed

John Hans tied the knot with beautiful Charmaine, so you could say #HansGotCharmed.

8. #Jun男Mel女

The groom’s name is Jun Long and the bride’s name is Melissa, while “男” is mandarin for guy and “女”, for girl. “Mel” from Melissa can also be read as “Mei”, which is mandarin for pretty. Pretty clever word-play for “handsome guy and pretty girl”!

9. #ThisChanSoHeng

Chan is the groom’s surname and Heng is the bride’s. ‘Heng’ is Hokkien for lucky, so it loosely means the groom is so lucky.

10. #MellyYouSoon

Bride’s name is Melissa (Melly), groom’s surname is Soon – marry you soon.

11. #theWANforNAB

SafWAN is the Wan and only for NABilah.

12. #FongLingInLove

Borrowing the “Fong” from Wei Fong and “Ling” from Wei Ling, this hashtag is a cute play on the phrase “Falling in love”.

13. #YuanMarriedLiao

The groom’s name is Si Yuan and bride’s surname is Liao. Very Singaporean, we like.

14. #HappyLeeWithPris

Groom's surname is Lee, bride’s name is Pris. And they lived happily ever after.

15. #KOKlovesBJ

KOK (Hwa) loves B(ao) J(i). Solid hashtag. Good one bro!

What’s Your Hashtag?

Know of other creative wedding hashtags? Share them with us in the comments! If you’ve been seeing your friends get hitched one by one and wonder if you’re going to end up #ForeverAlone, don’t worry because you can meet others in the same predicament as you <a href=" Also read, The Breakup Reasons These 10 S’poreans Gave Their Ex-es Will Make You Say ‘WTF’