Alcohol makes people do the most ridiculous sh*t. Things that they will never, ever do when sober. Like make out with a dodgy person at the club. Or steal gummy bears at 7-11. Or waking up from your drunken slumber to find yourself in another country.
We asked millennials to share the most ridiculous things they have done when they were drunk. Here are 9 of the funniest, most rabak drunk stories.
1. The Cook-Off
“I was casually drinking at a bar with two other friends on a Monday night. We had shared about 3 to 4 bottles of wine and wanted to play pool. There were people there at the pool table (one Caucasian and one Chinese dude) so we went up to them to ask if we could chope the table for the next round.
We started chatting with them and ended up playing pool together.
It turned out that they were all chefs. In our tipsy state, we decided to bluff them that I was the chef of Din Tai Fung, and I was the one who brought it to Singapore, from Taiwan. The chefs kind of bought that whole idea. We continued talking and ended up in a small debate.
One of the chefs said “cool off” but we heard it as “cook off”, and because they lived quite near, we agreed to a cook-off at their place. So my two friends and I stayed to finish our drinks while the other three chefs went to the 24-hour supermarket to get mystery ingredients. We had a cook-off at their place and drank on till past midnight on a Monday night. Also, they knew we weren’t chefs but went along with it anyway.
Now we are all good friends.”
– Chels, 25
2. A Jolly Good Christmas
“I was out drinking at a bar with my boyfriend and some girl friends. It was December and the festive mood got us all merry. We had too much to drink and I remember my boyfriend trying to twirl me around as we walked down the stairs. Obviously a super bad idea.
I ended up rolling down the stairs, dragging my boyfriend along with me. I remember feeling hurt and sore all over and that there was blood around my face. But what happened after was a blur.
I woke up in the hospital the next day, in shock and confusion. After talking to the nurses, I learnt that some kind souls had brought us in to the hospital. Apparently, when I was sent in I was still laughing with blood all around my mouth because I broke my two front teeth, and my boyfriend had torn his ligament in his left leg and had to be warded.
Needless to say, our parents weren’t pleased at all. My friends were though, as they teased me with, “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth,” for the rest of December.
– Ting, 23
3. Five-Star Experience
“One of my ex-students came up to me at the after party of a friend’s wedding. He proposed a toast and challenged that I won’t be able to finish my drink as fast as he can. My inner feminist and ultra competitive streak came out and… I can’t remember what happened next. My partner had to fill in the blanks.
Apparently, I held an audition for the best stripper for my hen’s party (I was getting married) and had half-dressed men give me lap dances.
Anyway, I woke up the next morning feeling confused and hung-over. I found a card slipped in from under the hotel room door but didn’t think much of it, just the hotel duty manager asking us to ring them when convenient.
When my partner woke up, he told me about how he and his sister had to drag me back to this room because I was dead weight drunk. Apparently, I had also puked red wine all over the carpet. His sister said it literally looked like someone was murdered and dragged along the carpet back to our room.
I freaked out at this point. In my mind, I was just panicking about how much the carpet replacement was going to cost. I eventually plucked up the courage to call the front office. Turned out they just wanted to know if we had a good stay and that they would appreciate a feedback on their survey form.
I gave them a 5 star rating.”
– Sheryl, 30
4. Shopping Cart
“I got so drunk from half a bottle of pure gin, my friends had to physically help me to the bus stop. Too intoxicated to give a damn about other commuters, I laid across the seats, taking up the entire last row of seats by myself when we got on the Night Rider bus.
My friends had to half-carry, half-drag me off the bus when we reached our stop cause I refused to move. At that point, they were wondering how they were going to carry me all the way home as it was quite a distance away and I was dead weight. They then chanced upon an NTUC shopping cart, dumped me in it, and pushed me home and all the way into my room. I woke up the next morning in my room but still in the cart with my clothes and shoes on.”
– CJ, 29
5. Many Bad Decisions
“I remember getting smashed and exhausted during my cousin’s birthday party at a nightclub. Yet, I insisted on taking the Night Rider bus home alone. I stumbled into 7-11 to grab a bottle of water before catching the bus. Thank goodness because as expected, the ride was terrible and I threw up into the 7-11 plastic bag three times.
In that inebriated state, I wasn’t entirely sure where the bus was headed besides the fact that it would get me somewhere near my home. I decided to get off at the first familiar sight. Then, thinking it would help me sober up, I decided to run home. Terrible decision.
When I finally reached the lift lobby of my block after running for 10 minutes, I realised the bus that I was initially on stopped exactly at the bus stop beside my block. (FML)
I headed up, opened the door, and placed my wallet, keys and plastic bag, which was untied and filled with my vomit, on my dining table. The vomit ‘erupted’ from the plastic bag and spilt all over the table and floor. I learnt never to bring my vomit home in a plastic bag anymore.”
– Harry, 29
6. The Very Unfortunate Tumble
“I was casually drinking with a friend of mine and he had a little too much that he could barely walk, let alone stand on his own feet. My cousin and I threw him into a cab and brought his drunken ass back to his house. We spent a good 25 minutes searching for his keys and opening his gate because of the multiple complicated locks.
We struggled to carry him up to his room, and were relieved that we didn’t wake his super strict parents up – even after dragging his heavy drunken ass up two flights of stairs and knocking over some family photos.
We made our way down the stairs after dumping him in his room. Then when we were just about to step out of the door, the drunkard miraculously appeared at the top of the stairs. He shouted, “I love you guys, you look after me… and I thank you. Come I’ll see ya’ll to my door!”
Before we could react, he took a few steps and tumbled down the flight of stairs, pulling several ornaments along with him. Hello parents.”
– Harry, 29
7. 2 Jugs Of Long Island Tea
“I was at Zouk with a couple of friends and one of them brought his rich friend from Indonesia. This rich kid decided to be a baller that night and started buying everyone drinks. He bought me two jugs of long island tea and back then in my early twenties, getting one more drink on top of my cover charge was a dream. And there I was with TWO jugs of long island tea.
Being the smartass I was, I downed the two jugs in 5 minutes. Didn’t know what I was thinking back then and what gave me the blind courage to do so. The next 10 minutes or so felt awesome, and then everything began to spin fast, and colours started to chaaaaange.
Then, a fight broke out next to me and a group of what seemed like 10 bouncers ran towards me. It might as well have been 10 elephants. It was so intense I fell, met the floor, and got acquainted with it for a while before crawling out the club without saying goodbye to anyone. I somehow managed to get a taxi, crawled into it and also got to know the floor of it on the way home.
I could barely even stand straight and had to hold myself up against the wall as I stumbled my way up to my doorstep. Of all places, my hand landed on the freaking doorbell as I stumbled to my doorstep, at 3am.
My dad was a no-nonsense kind of man and I can’t remember the last time I sobered up so fast. It was like I forgot I was drunk. And the moment he went back to his room, I ‘returned’ to being drunk, crashed in my bed and dieded.”
– Aaron, 33
8. Seeing Stars
“I just turned 18 and was celebrating my legal drinking age by, well, drinking. Can’t remember exactly how much I drank but I know it was many, many mugs of Baron’s strong brew.
I felt completely fine but the moment I stood up, that was it. The ‘effect’ kicked in, I felt woozy, and I saw what I remember to be a very attractive lady in a red dress across the street. Something in me told me to chase after her, which I did.
I ran across the street, not even checking for traffic, and slammed straight into the green railing that was separating the pavement and the road. I completely didn’t see it (at least not in my mind) and hit my waist against the railing while my head and torso swung over. Next thing I knew I was lying flat on the ground (lucky it was grass) facing the sky, wondering what had happened while admiring the night sky.”
– Jay, 29
9. Platform 9 ¾
“I was just introduced to sake at a chalet at East coast. Back then at 18, I didn’t know my limits and downed sake bombs like water. Couldn’t really feel the alcohol kicking in until it was too late.
I spent the night running into the red brick walls hoping they were platform 9 ¾ (the chalet buildings were red bricks). I also enjoyed air swimming on the tables along East Coast Park.”
– Daniel, 24
Drink, Drank, Drunk
In all seriousness though, these millennials all agreed that it was a night to remember, not re-live – who wants to wipe their own vomit or face the fury of their parents at 3am right?
We don’t want to sound like our mothers and fathers, but as we countdown to 2018, remember to drink with caution! Or at least do it with someone you know will stop you from doing really stupid things like fall and break your front teeth, or drink-drive.
But if the drunk you do end up doing something damn rabak, share your funny stories with us in the comments!
Also read, Stupid Things 10 Singapore Millennials Did When They Were Young And Dumb.