Valentine’s day is fast approaching – Get ready for bouquets galore and the spam of sappy Instagram posts. On this particular day where we celebrate love, it’s easy to see love as a magical fairy tale. But relationships aren’t all that perfect. There are lovey-dovey moments and then there are times you wonder why you even love the monster you are dating.
To keep things real this Cupid’s Day, we asked millennials to share some of the most dramatic fights they have had with their partners. Clearly, some people watch dramas and others live it.
1. Mad Chase
“My boyfriend and I would always take the same bus home together but after a big fight, he left without me. I was seething with anger so I just sat in the school canteen in silence. When I registered what had happened, I ran out of school hoping to reconcile with him.
When I was reaching the bus stop, I saw him board the bus and leave. I couldn’t convince myself to give up, so I kept running. When the bus rounded the turn I knew I had no chance. My knees softened and I sat down at the overhead bridge to cry for a long while.
I realised my friends and a couple of seniors had watched the entire scene pan out from the bus stop. I was beyond embarrassed.”
– Jade, 23
2. Push Comes To Shove
My girlfriend and I had a huge spat after I heard that she cheated on me. I let my anger fuel my words and we couldn’t talk things out properly. She went home, but I really wanted to clarify certain things with her so I decided to look for her at her house.
I showed up at her doorstep but her lesbian friend who has a crush on her stopped me at the door. I tried to push past her but she held her ground. I shouted so that my girlfriend would be able to hear me from her room.
“She doesn’t want to see you!” Her friend shoved me and my back rammed against the wall along the corridor. I pushed her back and she tumbled into the living room. I was fuming at this point so when she charged at me again, I punched her in the face. My girlfriend must have sensed something was wrong because she finally came out of the room to catch us throwing punches at each other.
I had to deal with the police for a few weeks after that. Needless to say, the relationship ended on terrible terms.”
– Terrance, 30
3. LDR Woes
“I was in a long distance relationship and we were going through a really rough patch. Both of us were really busy and the time difference made it impossible to catch up as often as we hoped – the frustration led to us arguing a lot but we always reconciled. But this once after our fight, he ignored my texts and calls for the whole day. I cried myself to sleep thinking, “this is it, he’s breaking up with me.”
In the morning, I woke up to my sister giggling followed by a warm peck on my cheek. He didn’t reply me because he was on the plane back to see me. The fight itself wasn’t dramatic but the making up process was the most movie-like experience I had.”
– Sasha, 24
4. Dramatic Exit
“I had just stormed out of my boyfriend’s house and ruined the ‘low maintenance’ image his parents had of me. It was 1am and I was crying so hard that I had to sit by the curb to catch my breath. I wasn’t hoping for him to chase after me, but a while later I saw his car. I was still breathlessly sobbing and feeling too prideful, so I just let him drive by.
I told me that I would rather walk than see him but he insisted on waiting for me at the void deck of my house. Meanwhile, he had to answer calls from my parents about my whereabouts because I refused to pick up their phone.
We were texting hostile but empty threats about breaking up and it went on for a long while before I sent him my live location to work it out face-to-face.
He found me sitting at another road he had apparently drove pass. We yelled at each other till we ‘fixed things’. I even tried to storm off again but he pulled me back. After that, I cried into his shoulder till I literally passed out. My boyfriend carried me back to the car until I calmed down before he sent me home to deal with my parents.”
– Karla, 21
5. Stop and Stare
“After yet another fight with my ex, I demanded that he unlock his house door for me so I can leave. To my disappointment, he did so without any hesitation, and I stormed off. But instead of going home, I loitered around his neighbourhood, hoping for him to realise how wrong he was and come look for me. After aimlessly walking around, I finally settled on a bench at one of the void decks nearby where I bawled my eyes out.
I probably looked like a wreck because many passers-by stopped to ask if I was okay. One uncle even left me a packet of tissue and told me, “男孩子全部都是坏的啦，小妹不要想太多， 你还小以后的日子会更好。” (all boys are bad, don’t think too much, you’re still young things will get better)
My ex texted me an hour later and because I was still pissed, I sent him on a hunt around his neighbourhood before he finally found me.”
– Crystal, 26
6. Underage Drinks
“At 14-years-old I was in a relationship with a boy 5 years older than me. We were really immature and were always breaking up and getting back together. I didn’t know how to physically cope with those emotions back then so I turned to alcohol.
Once, my friend snuck out some of her mother’s whisky which we drank by her condo’s pool. At some point, I fell asleep on the table, faced down. When I vomited, I was so wasted that I continued sleeping in my puddle of semi-digested food and liquids. Miraculously, my friend manage to get me to the public toilet, although she said I was crawling most of the way. (Bear in mind we were both 14-year-old ‘kids’ and it was in bright day light)
She quickly ran up to her house for clothes and a towel to clean me up before she called my ex-boyfriend for help. Since he was still serving his national service with the police force, he had to cab down during his lunch to carry me from the toilet to my friend’s house.
We got together again before breaking up for good a year later.”
– Rebecca, 24
7. He Said She Said
“I can’t even remember what we were arguing about but it was loud. We were hanging out in Starbucks with our friends and even they couldn’t stop us from yelling at each other. The argument became so heated that we stood up and continued shouting. Everyone there were staring at us when she ran out of Starbucks in tears. The girls chased after her while the boys stayed with me.
I was seething at her for being so incredibly unreasonable, but in the end, I eventually looked for her and gave her a hug first.”
– Zhi Wei, 22
8. Cuddle Power
“She was my first girlfriend and I didn’t understand why girls always want to ‘talk about things’.
We were walking home from supper and I was super angry about something petty but I didn’t want to “talk about it”. I wanted to send her home and find somewhere to cool off on my own but she was having none of that. When I tried to continue walking, she hugged me and tried to hold me back with her weight. I am almost 190cm tall and she was smaller than the average Singaporean girl. It would have been funny if I weren’t so angry.
I gave her a damn annoyed look and pried her hands off of me. Normally my cold stare was enough to make her stop her nonsense, but she was super stubborn that day – wrapped her hands around my waist and kept trying to stop me from walking. Her hugs were so tight and persistent I didn’t stay angry for long. I succumbed and we sat by the road side to talk about my feelings – sounds sissy, but it made her happy.”
– Timothy, 23
Pick Your Battles
Nobody wants to fight, but it is an integral part of building a long lasting relationship. It is how couples learn about and adapt to each other’s boundaries. But don’t fight for the sake of winning of course, pick your battles wisely.
How have you and your SO fought? Are you the drama-mama or the kind who chooses to avoid talking until both parties cool down?