“What are you anxious about?” This is a question I’m asked all too often, and usually, this is how it goes: I try to explain why I’m feeling this way, other people try to convince me that it’s all in my head, telling me “just don’t think about it” like it’s as simple as that. And I simply… nod and pretend to agree. It’s come to a point where I’ve stopped telling people I’m feeling anxious altogether, and resorted to saying that I’m not feeling well—it’s just a lot easier that way.

What’s Wrong With Me?

I first found out about my anxiety 3 years ago. I was constantly on edge. There would be many times throughout the day when I’d feel like I couldn’t breathe. My own thoughts and worries would just keep coming and I just couldn’t shut off my brain. Beyond that, it felt like I was constantly waiting—always waiting for the anxiety to pass. What was wrong with me? Wanting to make sense of this, I went to see the doctor. What started as one visit turned into a lot more. The doctors visits grew more and more frequent, and being a student, this burned a hole in my pocket. The doctors would offer vague diagnoses, saying its stomach flu, or some virus and they would “fix” me symptomatically. That only worked till the course of the medication was completed. After that, I was back to square one. The 4th doctor I saw finally prescribed me anxiety meds. It was a gamble on his part because, at the time, he wasn’t sure if I had anxiety. I was just glad for another explanation for the way I was feeling. That night, I took the medicine and it felt like the blizzard in my belly had blown through, and it was clear skies again. No more unpredictable waves of nerves. No more sinking feeling in my stomach with no explanation. I went on feeling this way… until the anxiety returned. My body had gotten used to the drugs and the anxiety had found its way back to me. Feeling like a prisoner in my own mind, I constantly told myself it was going to be okay. I told myself I would get through this. There was a time when I too, thought it was as easy as chucking negative, worrying thoughts to the back of my mind. I’ve tried that, but it simply doesn’t work—it never has. Anxiety doesn't heed the advice of logic. No matter how much I tell myself to keep positive or calm, my anxiety overshadows it, and I hear nothing else.

Living With Anxiety

Living with anxiety is exhausting—both mentally and physically. I was going through the motions day in and day out. Even with all the concessions and exceptions my friends and family made for me, it felt like they all turned into crutches for me. While it helps at first, in the long run, it’s no remedy. Often, I’ve found myself wondering what it’s like to not feel this way. We’ve all felt free before; relaxed. That feeling of having no worries, no stress in the world. Clutching onto that memory, I always think back, trying to remember what that felt like, wishing I could go back to that. I look at the people around me, at the way they seem to be able to deal with life and its demands so much better, and it frustrates me that I can’t do the same. When others are stressed or nervous, they’re able to rein their feelings in. They can control how they feel and prevent it from getting in their way. That’s something I can’t seem to do no matter how hard I try. My emotions always get the better of me.

Slightly Broken And It’s Okay

These days, I cope better. I still have my bad days, but I also have plenty of good ones. I’ve come up with a couple of tricks to keep my anxiety under control. Guided meditations are my go-to and have now become a routine. I’m surrounded by people who care about me, and while they may not fully understand what I’m experiencing, I can see the many ways they try. Even though I’ve been cursed with this problem, many blessings have come forth from it. Despite feeling slightly broken, I think I’ll do okay.

Over the years, we’ve seen celebrity couples come and go and while celebrity breakups seem to be the norm rather than the exception, there are still a handful of them we can’t seem to get over. Here are 10 Singaporean celebrity couples we always thought were endgame but that just didn’t work out. Pass the popcorn.

1. Rosalyn Lee & Justin Vanderstraaten

This also very good-looking couple were together for 2 years before they tied the knot in Los Angeles–Allan’s hometown–in December 2003. Fast forward 9 years, they have 2 kids, moved to Shanghai, ended their marriage in 2016 and then moved back here to Singapore. The reason for their split remains unknown as the couple would rather keep it private.

4.    Naomi Neo and JianHao Tan

Just as Dee Kosh had predicted, this pair ended things in January this year. Hands down the most dramatic breakup of all time, the two dated since 2015 and over time, their relationship grew abusive—both mentally and physically. Things started to get really blown out of proportion when they took to social media to voice their anger. What ever happened to not airing your dirty laundry in public?

6.    Jaime Teo & Daniel Ong

After 9 years together, former Miss Singapore Universe, Jaime Teo, and ex-radio DJ, Daniel Ong, decided to dissolve their marriage in 2016. They both still work together on their business venture, Twelve Cupcakes, and have a daughter they co-parent. We said goodbye with heavy hearts but are glad they can put their issues aside for their daughter’s sake. Now, that's what you call an amicable split.

7.    Jamie Yeo & Glenn Ong

Dated in 2001, married in 2004, divorced in 2009. For a long time, Glenn bore the brunt of the blame for the breakup, until Jamie revealed in an interview in 2015 that she was the cause of it. Both have since moved on and married other people, but it’s hard for us to forget that these two were once lovebirds.

8.    Vernetta Lopez & Mark Richmond

Here’s a real #tbt – DJs Vernetta Lopez and Mark Richmond were once in love and married. After 9 years together, this power couple annulled their marriage in 2003. Vernetta recently published a book titled ‘Memoirs Of A DJ’, and in it she writes about how Mark cheated on her, as well as the events that followed after. Let’s just say current relationship status? Divorced and pissed off.

9.    Bobby Tonelli & Joanne Peh

Radio DJ Bobby Tonelli and actress Joanne Peh ended their 4 year relationship in 2013. It seemed like a match made in heaven, but as it turns out, Joanne felt they were both on different pages and had different goals in life. Poor Bobby, our hearts are with him.

10. Benjamin Kheng & Sandra Riley Tang

Though they've never spoken publicly about this, something definitely went on and fizzled out between these two in the past. Subtle hints from photos on social media, however, show that the two members of The Sam Willows are no longer together. The flawless pair who got us swooning over their good looks and even better vocals still work together… Awkward much?

Fret Not!

With every one of these breakups, our faith in love has wavered a little and our hearts were left a little more broken than before. Love is a risk and it can be unpredictable—one moment you’re in love, the next, who knows? That’s just the way love works. While we can't make ourselves completely invulnerable to heartbreak, there are actually small ways we can protect ourselves. In time for Valentine’s Day and for hearts potentially breaking all over Singapore on this “special” occasion, Insurance Market has designed a totally unique Broken Heart Insurance to insure against a broken heart. Basically, you insure yourselves in the lead up to Valentine’s Day (from now till 13^th Feb) and on Valentine’s Day itself, in the event of a heartbreak, you file a claim by submitting your heartbreak story. As a small consolation to a really crappy situation, you stand to receive two movie tickets. A sweet and definitely unusual gesture by the new fully online insurance brokerage, Insurance Market. To get insured, head down to their website and get your heart covered for Valentine's Day!

Practicing yoga can come with many benefits—increasing physical strength, tightening your core, increasing flexibility—but for many, the benefits extend far beyond the physical. In fact, whether through wisdom imparted by the teachers or stilling the mind through the breathing exercises, the practice of yoga has led some to find themselves. We asked 9 yogis to share how yoga has changed their lives and here’s what they have to say. Why So Serious? “Serious is my middle name. There are only so many times a girl can be asked “Why so serious?”. Over the years of yoga practice, I’ve learnt that yoga is not about all work and no play. It's OK to laugh at myself when I wobble and topple over during class and it's OK to laugh at myself when I make mistakes outside of the mat. Yoga is now a constant reminder for me to always be silly, honest and kind.” – Joey Finding A Community “Yoga always gives me what I want. When I wanted to learn and grow, yoga led me to many wonderful yoga teachers who continue to inspire me until today. A little over a year ago, when I moved to Singapore, I decided I wanted friends in Singapore. As soon as I put myself in a yoga community, I met many loving souls who I hope to continue to get to know. Not only do yoga lovers meet at the practice space, we also have moments during the practice to reflect on our deeds and desires. I feel that as long as we are congruent in our thoughts and actions, we will always get what we want.” - Jib Dealing With Stress “Moving to Singapore was exciting, but it was also a big transition in my life. It was my first time not having a full-time career and I hadn't realized how much of my self-worth was connected to pursuing career goals. Yoga—particularly finding a yoga studio I loved—not only helped me feel a connection to home, but also helped me find peace of mind and a sense of belonging in the midst of a stressful time. Yoga is universal, no matter where in the world you are or who is teaching. I could find comfort in my practice and let go of worries, stress, and even leave behind an aching ego that was tied up in achievement and independence. And the great thing is, yoga ended up providing me with a rewarding career here as well.” - Lauren Finding Healing “Failing the SIA cabin-crew medical helped me discover the severity of my scoliosis. That made me determined to do all that I could to be healthy and happy. I saw it as a blessing in disguise, as it led me to seek out natural ways to heal the body such as through movement, strengthening and a vegan lifestyle. I've seen and felt a huge improvement in my spine since. Having a consistent yoga practice was the best decision I've ever made. The journey, though not always easy, is something I will choose over and over again.” – Trish Saying “Yes” More Often “The more I showed up on the yoga mat, the more open I became to saying yes to opportunities I probably would've said no to previously. I enjoy being independent and doing my own thing -- there's nothing wrong with that -- but I was starting to get too comfortable with being by myself that I noticed I was alone most of the time. Yoga helped me learn to say yes and to surround myself with people more often. Shifting my energy from a “no” to a “yes” created that possibility. Also, it makes me stretchy -- super life changing!” – Kaj Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone “Yoga has slowly peeled my layers away, allowing me to face my deepest fears, insecurities and desires. I am able to let go of doubt, attachment and the fear of moving to new beginnings. This was apparent when I had to make the decision to leave my stable job and relationships behind in order to move to Maldives for a new career. It never occurred to me that there were other opportunities waiting for me. Yoga helped me gain the confidence to move forward and to never look back. Since then, I’ve never been more in control of my life. ” – Aly Finding My Authentic Self “I’m from Vietnam and have been working in Singapore for 6 years now. I always believed that my English sucked because it’s what my colleagues have told me. Yoga has opened my eyes to question and find out who I really am, my authentic self and not what someone once said about me or what I deduced from past life incidences. They are completely wrong; my English isn’t as bad as I thought it was!” - Anna Change In Perspective “Recently, I missed my step and tumbled down the stairs. Normally I would have cursed and swore but instead I said to myself, “whew, I got down those stairs fast!”. It came to me that my yoga practice has taught me how to shift my perspective on and off the mat. When I take on a different perspective, I see things differently and hence, respond differently. That change made me realize that I can take control of my thoughts, emotions and outlook on life.” – Matt Confidence Inside And Out “With my hectic work schedule, yoga is the only time I feel I am dedicating time to myself. Yoga has taught me many things in life; to be patient, to not rush the process. Everything I experience on my yoga mat can be applied in life. I became more confident as I practiced more and more (like when you see NBA Basketball players walking like there's wind blowing through their hair with their head held high, full of pride, that’s how I feel). Yoga is a big part of my life and I will yoga till my hair turns white.” – Meerly Yoga isn’t just about doing headstands and wrapping your legs behind your head; it’s about honoring the light from within and finding calm in the chaos. That said, yoga takes time, patience and determination—there's no quick fix. It can touch your mind, your heart and your soul and with a constant practice, yoga just might give you a fresh take on life. So, let’s inhale the good shit and exhale the bullshit, Namaste.