Not all of us can relate to the classic Halloween traditions of dressing up, the Jack-O’-Lanterns, the haunted houses, and the trick-or-treating, but in Singapore, we’ve got our fair share of scares. From heart-attack-inducing data surcharges to surprise train breakdowns, we have came up with some truly Singaporean ‘horror’ stories. Six words too, to appease the devils. These stories aren’t the slightest bit paranormal, but you’ll find them equally horrible and horrifying. So, tread on with caution.

When you think it’s a steal

1. “GST and Service Charge not included.”

When all you wanted was a relaxing lunch break

2. Bought food already, no empty tables
3. Open dabao-ed food packet, wrong order

When they just want ‘5 minutes of your time’

GIF from GIPHY

4. Don’t worry I'm not selling anything.

The Public Transport Woes

5. “Bus is arriving in 18 minutes.”
6. Booked cab already, need to poop

GIF from GIPHY Cue: Anxiety

7. Queuing up, mum says: wait here.

A really shitty situation

8. Surprise pangsai, no more toilet roll

Makes you wonder if you should switch to Circles.Life, every time

9. "You have exceeded your monthly data."

Can you hear all the foodies’ heart breaking?

10. McDonald’s discontinues curry sauce in Singapore.
11. Bubble tea finish, still got pearls

The Awkward Wishes

12. "Happy Birthday!" "Hey thanks, you too"

GIF from GIPHY

The Priority Seat Conundrum

13. Gives up seat, lady not pregnant
14. Not pregnant, someone offers their seat

When you know it’s ‘GG.com’

15. Queuing at customs, cannot find passport
16. Late for flight. Peak hour jam.

Scare us with your own spooky stories

We hope these six-word horror stories have brought you to the depths of darkness as much as they have with us at Millennials of Singapore. What are other truly Singaporean experiences that terrifies you? Share your six-word horror story with us in the comments below! * This post is not sponsored by Circles.Life or McDonald's. Also read, 9 Damn Rabak Things Millennials Did When They Were Drunk. (Top Image Credit: The Bangalore Blog)

Knock knock, it’s me, Grim. Acknowledged by only the greatest devils in history, the special Netherworldly guest from the USS’ Halloween Horror Nights 8 is none other than Gideon Grim. Having made his first appearance in HHN8 after thousands of years hunting down people who attempt to flee from death, the Grim Reaper turned Motivational Death Coach is dubbed the ‘Scariest Man Alive’.

With Halloween around the corner and us being too chicken busy for HHN8, we invited Gideon Grim himself to visit us in office. Because what other way to get a taste of HHN8 within the safety confines of our office than to meet the one man from the annual scarefest whom Satan reviewed “The only man I fear”?

Contrary to popular belief, Gideon does not encourage or teach people about death as a Motivational Death Coach. Rather the leading expert on death works to pass on his invaluable skills of the trade through his DEAD Talks seminars, where he motivates people to bring back the BOO. After Gideon showed us how he channels his inner darkness to bring out the BOO, which gave some of us a much-needed wake-me-up from the dreaded afternoon food coma, we had a chat with him to learn more about life as a Motivational Death Coach.

Who inspires you? Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, and taxi uncles. How can we bring back our BOO? I won’t reveal too much about the four keys to highly effective scaring as you’ll have to attend my seminar to learn about that. But first, you have to have the passion to scare. Find what gives you that adrenaline rush of scaring people to discover your own scare tactics. You also have to be spontaneous, have a heart of darkness, and love cats. How about the evil laughter? How can we we cackle like you? Well, I was born into this world cackling so it's in my blood. But thinking about dark thoughts helps. For me, I think about puppies dying.   Can I scare my boss into giving me a raise? It’s a good idea but I haven’t seen anyone done that. You can definitely try but with caution, because it’s a fine line between getting the raise and getting fired. Do you get paid? I get paid in tortured screams. It’s somewhat the currency in my trade, sort of like bitcoins. Based on your experience as an ex-Grim Reaper, what scares Singaporeans the most? Not having the aircon on, MRT delays, and the general election - don’t ask me why. Do you still have your Grim Reaper getup? Yes. I still don my cloak once in awhile and the scythe makes for a good back scratcher sometimes. Will we see more of Gideon Grim around after HHN8? I do hope to hold my seminars around Singapore and around the world, to motivate more people to embrace darkness. To get people on their feet and slaughter the competition. Because we’re all big on those inspirational quotes, we we got Gideon to leave us with four pieces of inspiration for life (and death). We leave you with these four alternative motivational posters. Such words of wisdom. And what a gift it was from Gideon to grace us with his presence amidst his busy schedule, which involves feeding his cat, Muffin the Murderer, watching the news to get his daily inspiration from scary things like global warming, and scaring people.

If do wish to frighten yourself and catch Gideon in action and the myriad of other scares HHN8 has in store for you, good luck, have fun, and brace yourself for “infinite fear”. Get your tickets here while you still can!

Also read, Infamous Ghost Stories In Singapore’s Polytechnics And Universities – As Told By Students.

If you haven’t heard of it before, you should have by now. Ever since Crazy Rich Asians hit the cinemas, Singapore being one of the world’s richest countries has yet again become a hot topic. Thanks to the Hollywood film, Singapore is a country full of sprawling mansions and wealthy locals who hold over-the-top parties on a regular basis. But we know that this is merely entertainment. Most Singaporeans would have ended up leaving the theatre amused by that depiction while secretly crying inside - if only we were all that wealthy. The truth is far from that. We’re exactly what Nas said in his video, Crazy Poor Asians: we just get by. https://www.facebook.com/nasdaily/videos/315345822583209/ However, when you put GST increase, transport fare hikes, increase cost of utilities and inflation into the picture along with a myriad of other social issues, you get disgruntled average Singaporeans who will naturally wonder about the possibility of better prospects elsewhere.                       

"The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side"

For many millennials, studying or working overseas are opportunities we wish to experience at least once in our life. Cold weather, a slower pace of life, the freedom, and the impression of a generally better employment package are things we associate with life abroad. Also, who can pass up on the chance to travel and explore a bit of the world under the guise of study or work? In fact, a study released in July where 1000 Singaporean citizens and PRs were surveyed, seven in 10 (69%) want to work remotely to travel the world, and 85% of them would like to live abroad for some time. Unsurprising, considering how many wanderlusters you will find just by browsing through Instagram profiles.  

The study done by online money transfer service Transferwise also covered the concerns Singaporeans have about living abroad, with 56% surveyed envious about other Singaporeans ability to move out of the country.

We dream of greener pastures, of a better life and better prospects outside of Singapore, but is it really rainbow and butterflies as we envision? To better understand the realities of living abroad, we spoke to four Singaporeans who have actually gone through it themselves.

How Green Is The Grass On The Other Side?

1. Farhan - 3.5 Years In Thailand

After working in Thailand for 3.5 years as a project engineer, Farhan decided to quit and move back to Singapore following the end of his project.

What are the perks of living abroad? The freedom! I enjoyed living independently. And the downsides? It gets pretty lonely. I really missed having my family and friends around. Living independently also meant that there wasn’t anyone to help or care for me when I fell sick. There was once I was down with severe food poisoning and I felt so weak. I couldn't visit the clinic or consult the doctor because of the language barrier. It was a working day so I couldn't get my colleagues to help me with translation either. I ended up having to deal with it by myself by relying on off-the-counter medications In terms of the living environment, I was living and working at a pretty rural area. The pace of life there is slower and definitely more laid-back than in Singapore. There’s also not much to do there except for the weekend night markets.

I didn't feel as safe there as I do in Singapore. For example, walking alone late at night without feeling endangered there was a luxury. What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? Pick up the language used by the locals. You need to learn beyond basic conversational skills if you’re going somewhere where the main language used there isn’t familiar to you. Moving to a new place means having to learn, accept, and adapt to the new environment, and communication is key to this. Technology like Google Translate helps but it is not 100% reliable as the translations are not always accurate, and what if you experience poor internet connection? You can’t always depend on technology. Live here or live abroad? I am perfectly comfortable and happy where I am in Singapore. It's a safe and efficient country, and my family and friends are all here so I don't see a point of migrating.

2. RT - 3 years in UK

RT just came back from her completing her degree in the UK. What are the perks of living abroad? Life is a lot quieter, more chill, and university life in the UK isn’t as intense as local universities - I would imagine. I also really liked the freedom that came with not living with my parents, the ability to go back anytime and not having to worry about reporting to anyone.

And the downsides?

Being away from my parents also meant that Mum wasn’t around to help me solve my problems anymore. I learnt to appreciate the basic things in Singapore like fast internet speeds, convenient public transport and food. What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? It is all the little things you don’t think about until you’re there. You have to be mentally ready to miss out on all the important events back at home, like gatherings or not being able to watch your baby relative grow up. Or the internet speed: The average internet speed in the UK is 16.5mbps, while it’s 180mbps in Singapore. Then there’s culture, safety and security. Live here or live abroad? I have thought about migrating because of the high costs of living in Singapore. I feel like we’ve stagnated in growth as a country while everything is becoming increasingly expensive. I may be wrong but at least that’s my general feeling about life in Singapore. For now, I’m staying here as I just came back from UK and do want to spend time with my family.

3. C - 4 years in UK

C also recently came back after completing his degree in the UK, where he spent one year in London and three years in Manchester. What are the perks of living abroad? The best part about living abroad is getting to experience cold most of the year, at least for where I lived at.

One thing I noticed and appreciate is how open-minded the people in UK are and how much freedom of speech they have there. I also learnt to appreciate Singapore more. I realise that Singaporeans complain too much and that people should really head out and see the reality of living abroad themselves. And the downsides? The nightlife there sucks. I’m not even talking about parties or drinks, but I wouldn’t even be able to find any food if I just wanted to have supper at night. In Singapore, you can easily get prata at night or anything else from the many 24-hour or late night food places. The services there are slow too. The service staff there always seem to be full of excuses and are a lot less responsible than in Singapore. There are many other obvious differences if you compare life there to Singapore: The standard of living, environment, the people and culture, and more. But the paced of life life there is a little too slow for me. I love the fast-paced and competitive nature in Singapore What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? The population in the area you are living at. It can get pretty dangerous and overwhelming. Consider the climate too. Live here or live abroad? There are certain decisions made by our ruling parties that I don’t agree with and I have thought of migrating, but I don’t think I ever will because having experienced the slower pace of life, I realise I still prefer the hustle and bustle here in Singapore. It keeps my fire burning.

4. Jasmin - Migrated to Perth 11 years ago

Jasmin moved to Perth, Western Australia in 2002 to pursue her dream of becoming a veterinarian. She stayed there permanently after graduating in 2007. What are the perks of living abroad? Life in Perth is pretty slow-paced and relaxed compared to Singapore. The people here are more interested in enjoying life in the present than slogging away or planning for the future. Most people are friendly and strangers would often strike up conversations with you. And the downsides? Singapore is a lot more convenient than Perth in so many ways, like public transportation, shopping, and getting food. The biggest challenge is being so far away from my friends and family, especially my parents. It’s hard to keep up with friendships and relationships, especially when life gets busy.

There isn’t really a best or worst thing of migrating, it is just a decision you make and then it becomes your norm. What are some important factors that people should consider before moving abroad? Check if you are able to carve out a career in your chosen field in that particular country. Sometimes your profession may not necessarily be in demand. You don’t want to be caught in a struggle to find work after you move. Why did you choose to migrate? I wouldn’t say that I migrated because I think Australia is better or that I prefer Australia. Singapore is a wonderful place to live and so is Perth. It just so happens that Perth is home for me right now.

To Migrate Or Not To Migrate

As much as we love to think that life overseas is all beautiful and perfect, that isn't always the case. Just like the many issues we face in our life in Singapore, there are bound to be challenges wherever else you go.  Instead of living in a dream of that Great Migration, know what you are in for first. Weigh the pros and cons for yourself, and if you do find someone else more perfect for you, good for you. (Share it with us) Also read: A Millennial’s Reply To Minister Ng’s Open Letter: “Nobody Owes Us A Living”. (Header Photo by Slava Bowman on Unsplash)

I remember a time when we used to refer to the LGBTQ+ community as simply, the gay community. Later, we began using the term 'LGBT' at large, and then LGBTQ, or even LGBTQIA. Today, this list has grown tremendously and is now more inclusive than ever. To some, it’s liberating. To others, it’s just plain confusing. Even when I asked a pool of friends consisting of both straight and non-straight people, no one could name every gender and sexual identity in the LGBTQ+ community. I wasn't surprised. There were so many after all. So, how many labels exactly are there and what do they all mean? I Googled to find out exactly how long the ‘+’ in the acronym LGBTQ+ ran. The most popular acronym I came across is LGBTTQQIAAP. So. Many. Letters. Confused? I was too. To help you out, I dug a little bit more to find out what each alphabet stands for and what it means to identify yourself as one of them. Let’s start with the basics. L is for Lesbian A lesbian, as we all know by now, is a female who is attracted to another female. G is for Gay The word 'gay' has been used to refer to the community in general over the years. But more accurately, a gay is a male who is attracted to other males. B is for Bisexual A bisexual is someone who’s attracted to both men and women. T is for Transgender Not to be confused with transsexual, a transgender is someone who identifies as the opposite gender. One thing to note: Unlike the three labels above, the term transgender is used to describe someone's gender identity, not to be confused with their sexual orientation/identity. Many tend to confuse the two and use them interchangeably. Your sexual orientation describes who you're romantically attracted to (who you wake up with), while your gender identity is how you identify yourself (who you wake up as) - male, female, a combination of male and female or none. For example, if someone identifies as transgender, that’s their gender identity, but when someone identifies as gay, that’s his sexual identity. T is for Transsexual A transsexual, unlike a transgender, is someone who has physically altered themselves to match the gender they identify as. Q is for Queer Through the years, ‘queer’ has been considered to be offensive and a derogatory term to some people in the community. In the 1950s, the word was used as a slur in reference to the LGBTQ+ community. Today, it is largely used and also the most inclusive word on this list. The acronym LGBTQ is still the most commonly used acronym when talking about the community as it argues that queer is an all-inclusive term for the lesser-known labels that follow after 'LGBT'. Q is for Questioning Questioning refers to a person who is still confused about their sexual or gender identity. I is for Intersex If someone identifies as an intersex, they are someone who is born with both male and female biological characteristics. An intersex person could have been born with chromosomes different from XX (male) and XY (female). S/he could, for example, have been born with the chromosome of XXY. An intersex could also be someone who’s born with genitals that are totally male or female, but their internal organs don’t match (such as having a vagina but no uterus). A is for Asexual Asexual refers to someone who has no sexual feelings or desires for anyone. A is for Ally An ally is a person who identifies as heterosexual but supports and fights for the LGBTQ+ community. P is for Pansexual Often confused with bisexual, a pansexual is someone who can be attracted to someone regardless of their gender or sexual identity. Unlike a bisexual, they can also be attracted to a transgender, transsexual, intersex, and more.

THE IMPORTANCE OF LABELS

Following the age-old debates surrounding LGBT messages, there are two types of people with regards to having so many labels. There are those who believe these labels are important in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights, and there are others who feel that the 'never-ending' list of labels is just becoming plain ridiculous. In the new wave of terminology, we're also hearing words like polyamorous, demisexual, genderqueer, two-spirit and a whole lot more. If you're wondering if it'll ever end, I'd say probably not. I wanted to go beyond learning the definition of these terms, which for all you know, I could've gotten from Wiktionary. To get a better understanding on the importance of these labels, I spoke to some people from the LGBTQ+ community and asked how they felt about having so many labels. Of the five queer people I spoke to, four believed that labels are crucial to the community and society as a whole. According to Lorraine*, who identifies as pansexual, the various labels help those who are trying to figure themselves out in the early stage of finding their sexuality. She admits that the labels can be quite confusing, but having them allow individuals to find themselves. And if these individuals wish to label themselves, they can. Sean, a gay man and the founder of Dear Straight People, says that labels are not only important to give the community a means of identity and belonging, but in helping the general public make sense of the LGBTQ+ community. But he also adds that he doesn't want people to see him just for his sexual identity.

NECESSARY OR JUST GETTING TOO MUCH?

While these labels fight for inclusivity, they have also become a subject for mockery in society. These labels can seem like a bit ‘too much’, not just for straight people, but for some queer people as well. They believe these labels make it difficult to normalise LGBTQ+. Tim*, a gay Singaporean, feels that in a society that already judges them for being who they are, these labels give people an opportunity to criticise them further. His experience with trying to explain the terminologies to his friends often results in looks of confusion, which made his straight friends less interested and more reluctant to learn about it. It didn't help that he would hear people passing comments like "wah you all damn extra." I also spoke to a few straight people to hear what they thought of these labels - do the labels help them understand queers better? Andy*, a straight male, feels that labels are difficult to understand for someone not in the LGBTQ+ community. Not only because there are so many labels, but also because he prefers to be acquainted with someone for who they are and not because of a label that he may not understand completely. Even if he does understand, it's hard to remember so many labels. As a straight female myself, I disagree. For me, these labels make it simpler to understand a person. It not only informs me about their sexual identity, I'm more aware of their struggles. It also helps me differentiate a transgender from a transsexual, for example. The fact that these labels are made fun of or are a target for mockery only tells me that there's still a long battle to be fought for the LGBTQ+ community. These labels might not be as crucial to someone like me. But for the vast majority of the queer community, these labels give a powerful sense of acceptance and belonging. Just like any other labels we use to identify ourself with - male, female, millennial, Chinese, Malay, Indian - we have to remember that they are there for a reason. We cannot deny that they give recognition to a group that has been marginalised since its inception. If these labels exist to help a group of individuals find self-acceptance in a complex world, perhaps we should respect that. So what do you think? Are labels are an important part of the LGBTQ+ society? Also read, We Fight For The Freedom To Love, But Is Singapore Really Ready To Accept LGBT? (Header Image Credit: Chek Yong - Travel Photography via Pink Dot 2017)

When you’re in a long-term relationship, it can feel like there’s nowhere to go in Singapore for dates anymore. You’ve done movies, dinner, picnics, touristy places like USS and the Zoo, and you’ve walked the Orchard to Dhoby Ghaut stretch so many times you can tell when a new shop pops up. Going out for dates even feels like a chore sometimes. We spoke to 8 Singaporean millennial couples to see how they deal with (the burden of) planning dates. Hopefully, their dating habits inspire you in keeping it fresh for your relationship!

1. Jacky & Li Ru, Together for 2 months

How often do you guys go on dates? Once a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We go on food hunts and movie dates. We signed up for GuavaPass so we’ll go on weekly exercise dates too. We also had a fun gaming outing where we played PS4 recently. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We’ll just meet, eat, and walk around where we eat at. Sometimes, you don’t have to have a "destination" in mind, it's the company. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? The company. - Jacky

2. Zafirah & Farhan, Together for 6 months

How often do you guys go on dates? We meet each other about 2 to 3 times a week, depending on our schedules. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We usually just eat. We like to explore new makan places that we saw on Facebook or if there's any good food deals. Besides eating, we like to walk around or find a spot to sit and talk. Or watch movies, go bowling, and most recently, sing karaoke! What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We’ll just park the car somewhere and talk while listening to music. I actually enjoy spending time like this. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Honestly it's not about where you go or what you do, but the person you're with. if you're with good company, you're guaranteed a good time. It’s also important for us to be 100% present on dates instead of fiddling with our phones. - Zafirah

3. Justinn & Danessa, Together for 8 months

How often do you guys go on dates? Almost everyday. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We go thrift shopping and movies or eat. Otherwise we just stay home and chill. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? Stay at home or spend time with each other’s family, or find our friends to hangout together. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Just being with each other. - Justinn

4. Alanna & Kar Liang, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? If you mean how often we meet up or go out, one or two times a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? When we meet on weekends we will plan our day around a place we want to eat at, or something we want to see or need to buy. If there are any good movies, we'll watch it. When we don't feel like doing much, we just go out for a relaxing cup of coffee. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We’ll list out as many ideas as we can and then narrow them down until we decide on something. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Taking turns to do things that your partner wants to do, and being comfortable to just do nothing together sometimes! - Alanna

5. Daniel & Natasha, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? Not as often as when we first started dating, but we do make an effort to go out once in awhile. Maybe once or twice a month. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? I like to plan surprise dates for her occasionally, just because I know she loves that. It’ll usually be a nice restaurant because we eat cheap normally, so it’s like a treat. On a more regular basis, we’ll either catch a movie or check out an exhibition at the gallery or museum. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? I’m quite a “cheapo” so sometimes when we have no idea what to do, I’ll check discount apps or find 1-for-1 deals to help pick out a restaurant. There are other apps or websites too that help recommend date ideas. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? I think the most important is that we both enjoy doing things that both of us can appreciate together. Of course, we enjoy each other’s company as well! - Daniel

6. Melissa & Andy, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? We date occasionally since both of us are really busy, but weekend hangouts are a must. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? Dates are always food-fuelled. Besides that, it’s movies and window shopping. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We do stay-home dates since it's all about spending time together. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Definitely the company. It can be a trip to some kopitiam but the experience will still be great for the both of us. - Melissa

7. Marie & Leslie, Together for 2.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? At least once a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? We usually watch movies or bring my nephew out to places like the goat farm, frog farm or neighbourhood playgrounds. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We usually meet our friends to play board games, PS4, or workout together. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? FOOD!! - Marie

8. Anmol & Wayne, Together for 4 years

How often do you guys go on dates? Twice a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? It'll just be dinner on a weekday. On a weekend, we’ll usually catch a movie or window shop in town. We'll go for events or carnivals if there are but we won't spend, we just like to see stuff. We’ll also catch the free performances at Esplanade outdoor theatre sometimes. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We usually wait until the last minute and someone will end up suggesting something after Googling. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? Spending quality time and catching up on things that happened in the week. It's a bonus if we get to do something or go somewhere new. - Anmol

9. Victoria & Beng Kiong, Together for 6.5 years

How often do you guys go on dates? About once or twice a week. Where do you guys go or what do y’all do on dates? When we first started dating, we would go on 'running' dates at MacRitchie because we knew each other from Track & Field. These days, just having dinner at a nice restaurant is good enough for us. What do you do when you don’t know what to do/where to go for dates? We keep suggesting things until we can agree on something. Otherwise, we usually head to the nearest park for a walk like what your grandfather and grandmother would do on Sunday mornings. What’s the most important thing when it comes to dates? I think we're lucky to share many common interests despite our contrasting personalities. It does get boring after doing the same thing for so many years so trying new things is important. For example, I was introduced to bouldering by a friend and I thought it was fun, so I roped him in to try it with me. - Victoria

It’s Not The Place, It’s The Person

Instead of lamenting how there’s nothing to do in our tiny island, make it fun for yourself and your partner in your own ways! As these 3 other couples shared in our earlier video, there’s always new things and events that are happening around Singapore. https://www.facebook.com/millennialsofsingapore/videos/902216563273095/ And on days where you really have no idea what to do, just Google. There are a ton of suggestions online, like this listicle on 100 Best Things to do in Singapore. Step out of your comfort zone and try new stuff! Who knows, you might stumble upon a new favourite hangout or even a new hobby that both of you can enjoy together. Also read, 12 Things Singapore Couples Do That Singles Buay Tahan.

Remember when Ninja Warrior and Wipe Out were your favourite shows? I was always obsessed with how fun the entire obstacle course looked. Seeing contestants in crazy costumes was definitely a bonus. It was basically a playground for adults. When I first knew about the Battle Bay Extreme (BBE) that's happening at Marina Regatta this year, my inner child was awoken. My favourite television series is being recreated and brought to life on our own home ground. However, my excitement was short lived. Despite my adamant objection, my bosses assumed I was expressing interest in trying the course - all because I found these obstacle courses cool. I was literally sabo-ed as tribute to conquer Singapore’s equivalent of Ninja Warrior – Battle Bay Extreme (BBE). The most extreme thing I’ve ever done during my time on Earth was finish half a bottle of whisky at 15 years old, but as a measly intern, it had to be me. (Lol jk, I love my job.) I was sent to TripleFit Singapore, where I met with Coach Faz to train for the obstacle course ahead of time. It’ll be an interesting article, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

"Are you ready?"

When Coach Faz asked if I was ready, I nodded. If only he (and my bosses) knew that I was only mentally prepared. And if only they knew I almost failed my NAPFA test 5 years ago. Even then, I was way more prepared for NAPFA than this training with Faz. For a moment, I considered feigning a stomachache, but I remembered I needed my job. We started with what was supposed to be a simple warm-up/cardio session, but by the end of it I was breathless, swaying, and had slight tunnel vision. I could see Faz looking concerned at whether I could keep up. He also had a look of satisfaction – this trainer was determined not to short change me of the ‘full experience’. I knew I wasn’t going to get any sympathy. Then again, what did I expect from a man with biceps the size of my thighs; how could he understand what weakness meant?

Once I caught my breath, Faz ran me through various exercises in preparation for level 2 of BBE’s obstacle course. We started with the 4-foot hurdle and a 6-foot wall. As a self-proclaimed tiny person, I have climbed many walls and jumped high enough to reach the top shelf at supermarkets. The approximately 1.2m high hurdle and 1.8m wall had nothing on me. In fact, my 1.55m stature was also beneficial for the Crawl Under. The actual set up is a little higher and wider, but Faz lives by the saying, “prepare for the worst”. I wiggled through the mini metal hurdles like a pro – it was a wiggle I dare say Jason Derulo would be proud of.

I think the periodic sprints for the last bus on Friday nights seemed to have helped with my fitness levels. That was the only reason I had aced the stations thus far. A minute later I realised that I had spoken too soon. The easy part had just ended, and we were now entering obstacle course hell. Sure, I could have thrown in the towel but I was already too invested to quit. Also, I was worried about the potential wrath awaiting me in the office. The next 3 exercises required upper body strength which I lack. In fact, what Faz calls a triceps, I affectionately call the UADD (under arm dingle dangle). A few rounds on the Monkey Bars wore me out but it was the Farmer Walk (24kg) that would prove to be near impossible. My attempts to convince Faz that 24kg should be split between both arms were futile. It was apparent that Faz was not going to let me have my way – as always, he reminds me to prepare for the worst. I rolled my eyes.

I waddled back and forth, carrying 18kg on each side (he settled because I literally couldn’t lift 24kg with 1 arm). Every time I finished a lap, he told me to go “one last time” – lies. One water break later, I was back at it again. Sweat dripping, arms trembling and a head full of curse words – the Dips Walk was my biggest challenge. If this was the real obstacle course, I would have tapped out right there. This was my biggest failure of the day and Faz’s biggest disappointment. Clearly he was as emotionally invested in this challenge as I was.

I was told with much certainty by Faz that the Tyre Flip was simple, but I doubted it. Even though TripleFit only had a 60kg tyre which is 40kg lighter than the actual one in Battle Bay Extreme, it was still much bigger and heavier than me. In fact, I could live comfortably in its large hollow centre – a safe place where I would be spared from the searing muscle aches from the countless obstacles. Though hopelessness and despair had already set in, I took a strong stand against the dreaded tyre. Much to my surprise, the Tyre Flip was one of the easiest things I did that day. In this case, size really doesn’t matter, technique is all you need.

The last task of the day wasn’t as easy, but it satisfied my morbid sense of humour. The Sandbag Throw felt like a scene from Crime Watch considering that 25kg is probably equivalent to an 8-year-old’s deadweight (don’t ask me how I know). Now my friends know they can count on me to help them get away with murder – Annalise Keating would be proud. In fact, Faz looked quite proud too. “The police are coming, get rid of the body,” I thought to myself as I hauled the sandbag over my shoulder again. My imagination spurring my aching muscles on.

Getting rid of 5 carcasses was a great way to end this workout.

Would I survive the actual course at Marina Regatta?

Thanks to Faz, I am well and truly prepared for the worst. As a chronically unfit person, I wouldn’t survive level 2 of Battle Bay Extreme, but the Level 1 Battle Bay water course shouldn’t be a problem. You don’t have to wait for your bosses to force you into it, you can find out more about Battle Bay Extreme here. Online registrations for Battle Bay Extreme closes on 16 May but don’t worry if you miss it because you can still sign up on the spot during event days! To my fellow unfit homo sapiens, there are many activities that aren’t as physically demanding at <a href=" Marina Regatta; including sustainability and wellness workshops, as well as free yoga classes. The <a href=" Marina Regatta is happening on 26-27 May & 2-3 June at the Promontory@Marina Bay. My aching body and this post are brought to you by DBS and TripleFit. *Faz is actually a really nice guy.

"I don't usually do this but can I kiss you?" Would you find it weird if your boyfriend asked you for permission before he kissed you? That’s what my friend Edd had asked me a while ago. I can’t remember what our first kiss was like, but if he did I probably would have nodded, or just smiled and went in for the kiss myself. “What if it was a dude you weren’t so sure about yet, like you are interested but you’re still not 100% sure if you’re going to date him for real?” Even with dates, I’ve always been forthcoming with my kisses – ugh, am I just too easy? But I was already romantically invested in those dates I kissed and it just felt like a natural progression of our feelings and affection for each other. Something that holding hands or hugging wouldn’t quite capture. It was straightforward to me. If I like you romantically, I would want to feel closer to you, and that would translate to physical intimacy. But as simple as it is to me, it isn’t for Edd – perhaps it’s just more difficult for guys.

Romantic Interest And Consent

Having missed one too many shots at a happily ever after, what went wrong? Edd seemed to have an extremely different perspective of how physical intimacy played a part in relationships. Edd would hit the home run as soon as it was appropriate because physical intimacy is the ultimate shield from the dreaded friend zone. Touch was also his way of showing that he’s interested. Now I started to understand why the girls in Edd’s life seemed to flee. Men give love for sex, women give sex for love – things might have changed in this modern era but I believe this quote still holds true. Women still needs to feel an emotional investment and connection for sex to count as love-making, or else we might interpret it as a quick touch and go. There are better ways to demonstrate your interest on the first date instead of diving straight into the deep end of sex. Because his advances never worked well, Edd wondered if getting consent helps. But, “I don't know if it's because of the toxic macho culture I've been exposed to, I've been led to believe that women find it kind of weak for a man to ask for a kiss or for sex.” Gone are the days where men have to be the archetypal, dominant head of the household. Those typically masculine qualities do help make a man seem more attractive but there are many other equally or even more important traits that women seek for today, like humour and stability. Yes, asking for permission may come across as shy and insecure, but it is better than scaring women away for being overconfident or too physically forthcoming. Contrarily, I wouldn’t think any less of a guy’s masculinity if he asked to kiss me. It shows me two very valuable traits: that he’s polite and respectful – he cares enough about how I would feel and respects me enough to check before treading on into ‘sensitive territories’. I’d definitely tell my girls about it and giggle about how silly or cute it was of him to ask, but that all depends on how interested I already am in him.

How Fast Is Too Fast?

I went around the office to find out the ‘best’ time to kiss or engage in coitus. After making my colleagues feel paiseh with clearly too many personal questions in the middle of a work day, and doing some more research, I concluded: there’s no answer. There is just no right or wrong when it comes to love and no model timeline to physical intimacy. Everyone’s got their own ‘pace’. No one has the right to impose rules on when to start getting intimate in a relationship either. Neither should we compare or worry about how fast is too fast. What’s norm for someone else may not be for you and if you’re not comfortable, then what’s the point? The chemistry between two individuals is different for every duo. You may feel like long lost lovers with one person but with another, it could take several dates before it feels ‘right’. As vague as it sounds, there are signs you can always count on to determine if this moment is ‘right’ for cozying up to each other.

Reading The Signs

Brush your fingers against mine, inch closer so our shoulders touch, let your hands linger a little longer around my waist after we take a photo – if I don’t flinch, that’s when you know I’m ready for interlocking fingers and warmer hugs. Any verbal consent would only kill the mood and take away the excitement! Kisses are a little trickier, you have to be sensitive to the energy around you. It could be that extra few seconds of lingering after you bid her farewell at the void deck, or the way she looks at you intently, or in the most obvious case, if she doesn't turn away when you inch your face close to hers - not in a creepy 'I want to eat your face way' of course, just purse your lips a little, close your eyes... If you find a way to slide your tongue into the game, then you’ve unlocked the next phase: making out.

Then, there’s sex – the fine line of consent separating rape and love-making. It doesn’t have to be as awkward as “would you like to have sex with me?”. A simple “you wanna do it?” between breaths works too. Else, consent comes in many non-verbal ways too: if she doesn't brush your hands away from her private areas, when she presses her body against you or initiates even more intimate behaviour, it's a good sign. Obviously in this case, if a girl says, "no," or "I don't want," she's not playing reverse psychology. As modern and liberal as we have evolved to be, most of us (Asians) are too shy to speak our minds in fear of rejection or ‘throwing face’. This is especially so for women – most of us still wait for men to make the first move. I’m guilty of being passive aggressive myself, keeping my dissatisfaction and preferences to myself hoping that my partner would magically read my mind but obviously, no one’s Professor X here. In fact, our blockhead boyfriends will appreciate that we lied on their shoulders or gave them a peck on the cheek first.

Where Do You Draw The Line?

I think it’s still safer to know someone better before getting intimately involved. Once you do, it can be hard to tell if you really like the person for the wholesome meaning of a relationship or if you’re just sexually attracted. And it is such a waste to mess up a chance at a happy ending just because you went in for that kiss she wasn’t quite ready for. Regardless, be confident and don’t be swayed by what others think is too fast or too slow. Find your own pace, read the cues, and go with the flow. *Name has been changed for privacy reasons Also read, Wet, Weird, And Adorable – Millennials Recount How They Lost Their First Kiss.

Wet, slobbery and passionate kisses, we’ve been on the roof top of JEM for the last 15 minutes. It feels like an hour. Straddled on top of you, it was exciting and arousing for you a lot longer than it was for me – I kept going because I loved you. When you unzipped your pants, I didn’t think much of it, but in a sharp whisper you asked to go to third base. Whether I shook my head or stared blankly at you, I can’t recall.   Hoarse pleas of “we can’t stop here,” whispered repeatedly from the lips I was so passionately kissing moments ago – something about the way you begged made it impossible to say no. But my body reacted before I could consider giving in, erupting into rapid, shallow and irregular breaths as I turned away from you. Shaking like a scared puppy on your lap, you zipped up and held me tight.   Swaying gently, you stroked my hair. You must love me. There’s no doubt about that. I felt your excitement ease but it was my turn to swell – pink and puffy from the friction of my cotton panties against your jeans, my skin burned whenever I used the toilet. Is that normal? He was the sweet boy that everyone adored for his masculine physique, good nature, and fun-loving personality. I felt small and well protected with him. He understood what it meant to love the invisible man in the sky, what it meant to be ‘touched by the Bible’. He really wasn’t my type. I’ve always had a penchant for the bad boys who were good only to me. It wasn’t like I actively sourced them out to change them, they were just somehow drawn to me. Maybe because I had the morals of a conservative Christian but lived within the loopholes of the bible, the grey areas that divide different Christian groups. Safe but still fun. He broke the streak of bad boy personalities and became my perfect match – His tenderness was best friends with my guilty conscience and his love a dictator of my soul. I know what you said, you wouldn’t love me any less if we didn’t do these ‘things’, yet when I asked if we could stop, the forlorn look in your eyes said otherwise. It made my heart ache as much as my jaws. I wonder if you knew the contrast of bliss and disappointment on your face was too much for me to bear. It reminded me that I had the power to turn that frown upside down but I chose not to. I am selfish. I am a terrible girlfriend.  You pulled up your pants before lifting me off the ground in one swift motion as I whispered a pathetic trail of apologies. Your embrace, tender kisses and ‘It’s okay’ didn’t offer any comfort. You planted a final peck on my cheek, ready to leave. “I’ll do it. I want to do it. Just not in my balcony. Even with the curtains, it’s too in the open. My sis might come down and see us. Let’s do it in the toilet instead.” I caved in again and hated myself for it. Back on my knees, I played your disappointment in my head on repeat, willing my tongue and lips to graze all the right spots for just a bit longer. For just a bit longer, I need to ignore the palpitations that made my body shake. I love you, I mustn’t be selfish. I stood up. Somehow my usual tricks couldn’t convince me to finish the job tonight. My eyes burned as hot as the welt on my knees that sunk between tiles. I looked at you, no longer worthy of your love but hoping you’d give it to me anyway. For the second time tonight, you pulled your pants up and I followed you out of the toilet. As you packed up your things, I leaned against the wall some distance away. You hugged me, gave me a kiss on the forehead, and wiped my tears away. The gentler you were the louder my guilty conscience – I blew it. I blew my second chance. When he cheated on me, I didn’t wait for his apology to forgive him. The day I found out, he joined my family for dinner where my dad talked extensively about the hotel we were going to stay at for our getaway in Malacca – Holiday Inn, that’s where he f**ked the girl. Against my friends’ counsel, I stayed with him because I believed our love was strong enough to overcome his infidelity. I threw myself into the art of forgiveness, always tiptoeing around his crime. I didn't even stop him from going to the club after that, determined to show him that my trust hasn't wavered. I think I fixed us but I forgot about my own broken heart. Even when he reassured me that his affair wasn’t my fault, I sucked him off anyway to make sure he wouldn’t find solace in another girl. I could never shake off the fear when I had to reject his advances. The certainty of my yeses and noes were marred because my consent and dissent swayed to the rhythm of his persuasion. Just like Ariel, I traded in my voice for a chance at love, except she got Eric and I turned to foam. I am objective enough to take responsibility for this feeling of violation. I was never clear enough. I only hoped he read my mind or inferred from the few times I broke down in the middle of making out. The relationship was toxic for more reasons than this, but I clung on because there was just enough love and attention to keep me going. When we finally ended things, I was a tragic mess but my friends rejoiced, knowing that I will eventually see what they have been seeing. I often questioned why I never ventured beyond third base – what stopped me from being that girl who gave sex for love and lost it anyway? You. We often spoke in revere of chastity and you confessed how my purity was one reason we’re together. I should have known then that your stand on virginity was personal and not religious. You loved me for a lot of things but my abstinence was a big factor – I wanted to keep you interested. I deal with the wreck of my relationship, knowing I am not the only girl who walks around with a chip on her shoulder. This story is for the girls who will never be able to fully express their feelings of being violated because we enabled it, because there was never verbal or physical abuse, only the silent threat which we convinced ourselves would happen if we didn’t do so – we have no right to feel victimised.

Story is adapted from an original recount shared to us.

Also read, Millennials Share Their Biggest Relationship Mistakes So You Wouldn’t Make The Same Ones.

New year, but the same desperate scamper for a university placement. After securing your spot in school, there’s an even crazier fight for a room in the hall of your choice. Staying in hall is the ultimate convenience, you are the closest you can possibly be to those dreaded morning lectures. In time to come, the late nights and endless fun with friends who literally live next door will become one of the highlights of your university life. But friends and fun aside, there're a couple of infamous hall stories that may totally change your perspective of university halls – let's just say that hall life is an eye-opening experience. We spoke to friends who've stayed in hall and here are some promiscuous stories they shared. Stories that will make outsiders go 'OMG', but are nothing but common occurrence for fellow hall residents. If you're planning to stay in hall, brace yourselves!

1. Splashing Good Time

You would think that the deepest conversations happen in classrooms, or when someone gets drunk. For hall residents, some of their deepest and most meaningful conversations happen in their shared bathrooms. Bathing used to be a private affair, until you live in hall, where the bathroom becomes a new social setting with it's own set of unsaid rules. Couples have also been known to 'triple date' in the men’s bathroom. Imagine this: girlfriend scrubbing her boyfriend’s back while he grumbles about the latest soccer match with his two bros in the cubicles just beside. Of course that’s as much physical intimacy that’s accepted in shared bathrooms. Don't cross the line!

2. Lost and Never Found

Hang your clothes out often enough and someone might mistake your laundry line for a pasar malam store without a tenant – free clothes up for grabs! During your stay at hall, you may notice a few of those tiny pieces of cloth you wear closest to your body go missing. Congratulations, you have attracted the attention of the residential panty thief. Keep calm and call the police, although few have been caught despite even though several reports have been made.

3. Budget Innovation

Instead of using the clothing line where your laundry is vulnerable to the unpredictable weather and an easy target for the residential panty thief, dryers are a better option. But at $1 per use, most broke university students wouldn’t use the dryer until they have accumulated a reasonable pile of laundry. Thankfully, some hall ancestors have discovered a hack that costs nothing and dries your laundry faster. Meet the microwave. Not only is it good for heating up your late night snacks, they dry your clothes efficiently too! More importantly, it's free. But in all seriousness, drying your lingerie where people heat their food probably isn’t hygienic. Can you imagine taking out your freshly-microwaved underwear only to have it smelling like chicken rice?

4. Eye Sore

One of our friends shared a horrific experience where she witnessed her hall mate masturbating through the open window of his room. Another shared how he would always avoid looking out of his room windows because girls in the opposite block would change without drawing their curtains. While everyone makes a conscious effort not to impose on someone else's privacy, let's not make it hard for other people! Let the poor dude look out his window for his 30 seconds eye break without worrying about being called a pervert. Catching a glimpse of someone naked by accident shouldn't be a norm.

DRAW. YOUR. CURTAINS.

Needless to say, no one wants to deal with the awkwardness that ensues witnessing one of your friends naked, or having them see you naked accidentally. So unless you enjoy baring it all to anyone and everyone, close your curtains, draw your blinds, and shut the doors before you start stripping.

5. Door-to-Door Sales

Knock knock. Who's there? Just your door-to-door salesperson selling herself by the hour. According to some ex-hall students, those who live in residences with a higher population of foreign students often get offered sex at their door. As sad as it sounds, this is one of the limited ways foreign students can support themselves financially. Legally, they're not allowed to work and it's not easy finding consistent gigs that will pay cash under the table.

Wise Words

A word of advice from hall residents is to research on the hall’s ‘personality’ before you sign up. It’s weird how a building has a defined character, but check out their respective Facebook pages and you’ll discover the hall’s spunky personality and dominating trait – sporty, quiet, clubber siao, artsy fartsy, and more. You wouldn't want to be trapped in a sporty hall when your head gets more ball action than your hands. Here’s a tip for applicants with no inside connections: For halls that are more popular among freshmen, the committee tends to ignore applicants with a private Instagram account because they’re considered not ‘opened’ enough. While it is arguably unethical and not every hall has this practice, why risk it? Make your accounts public! Also read, What It Means To Have A University Degree In 2016.

Weddings should be a simple and sincere celebration of two people coming together in holy matrimony, but more often than not, traditions, reputation, and superstitions (that most of us don’t even believe in) take precedence. We all have our fair share of woes in complicated wedding procedures that we honestly wish we can do away with. Thankfully, modern Singaporeans have simplified some of the must-dos – now we can present a can of pigs’ trotters instead of a whole roasted pig to our Chinese in-laws. However, the practice of giving cash dowries hasn't gotten the same update and is one of the few wedding traditions that has not progressed with time. Traditionally, because women join their husband's family upon marriage, the dowry is used to compensate the bride's family for raising their daughter well and ‘giving her away’. Another common practice is where a dowry is given to the groom's family as financial relief for future costs incurred from taking care of the new wife. Regardless, the idea is the same: a dowry is given as a remuneration of sorts. Since Singaporean men and women have equal rights to education and career opportunities, and that both husband and wife are free to visit their families even after marriage (considering the idea of 'giving the daughters away'), there is no longer a need to ‘reimburse’ any party in the marriage. The giving of dowries should be an obsolete practice then. So why do older generations still insist on keeping this tradition?

“It’s Not About Money!”

It’s common courtesy for the side receiving the dowry to return part of it in cash or by covering some of the wedding expenses. Ultimately, most of the money is given back or used to benefit the couple so arguably it isn’t about how much, but rather a matter of staying rooted in our culture. With that said, a token sum of $50 should suffice to pass on the dowry for tradition's sake, but you still hear exorbitant numbers being thrown around.

"Where got daughter worth $50 one?"

If all children are priceless, $100,000 won't justify the worth of one’s daughter either. Only items sold in a business have a price tag justifying its worth. If we put a price on our daughter’s hand in marriage, we’re taking a huge step back in time, undoing all the efforts made to empower the women of today. In a way, the 'bride’s price' objectifies women and it should never be an accurate representation of someone’s worth. In the case where grooms pay the dowry, an expensive one can only be justified if daughters are perceived to be more precious and valued than sons – where true love and sincerity alone is considered a ‘low ball price’ for marrying a woman. Has the feminist movement tipped the scales of equality in their favour or is it just a money making opportunity? Millennials we reached out to unanimously agreed that dowries place unnecessary stress on engaged couples. We’ve even heard of couples who had to cut back on their ideal wedding budget or loan money from their parents to afford the dowry. In worst case scenarios, wedding planning becomes a failed business deal and both families end up falling out – just because of dowries. Clearly, the dowry only benefits one party. I thought no one would want to pay money in the name of tradition – I was wrong. For some, being able to afford the expensive tradition gives a sense of pride because it reflects status and wealth. And for wealthier families that can actually afford, most pay for they fear ‘losing face’. Compared to an expensive dowry, having a good job, a healthy bank balance, and properties under your name would be a better gauge of one's net worth and financial independence. Even if one has millions to spare, paying the dowry shouldn’t be a platform to boast about your wealth anyway. As newlyweds, there are so many better ways to spend money, like furnishing your new home or saving for your first child. Then, there are those concerns tying the uncorroborated link between a dowry and it's importance in the future of a marriage:

"If I don't pay the dowry, they might treat my daughter poorly."

Ultimately, like our chou chou, a comforting pillow we hug or smell to feel safe, the dowry is a false sense of security we cling onto. If someone is innately a violent person or lacks the courage to stand up for his wife, no amount of money can change that. You can only trust your daughter’s choice in your son-in-law and her strength to walk away if things turn sour, or trust in the Singapore law to protect her.

"If anything bad happens to my son-in-law or if he runs away with another woman, I can use the dowry money to help my daughter."

Where’s the safety deposit in case something happens to your daughter or if she runs off with another man? We act as if women are always the victim of toxic relationships even though we've all heard our fair share of nightmarish girlfriends, but that's a story for another time. In Singapore, the various laws and rules that enable women to achieve just as much as men makes it easy to forget that gender equality runs deeper than just equal opportunities. It’s about our perception of women. We still think females are weak and emotional beings with the inability to cope when things go south despite the many single mother success stories. The number of dual income families has not help us outgrow the concept of men being the sole breadwinner either. Dowries are proof of our wayward thinking despite equal opportunities. It is through subtle things like this that tells of how we still can’t see a woman as an equal to her male counterpart. We are hindered by the inertia of tradition. There is no logical reason to pass this custom onto the next generation. Instead of expensive dowry gifts, I vote for a more meaningful use of money – a bigger to help kick start the newlywed’s lives together. Also read, Why Securing A BTO First Makes A More Meaningful Proposal.