All couples fight. Healthy couples fight. Unhealthy couples fight. When you bring two different people together, whether into a friendship or a romantic relationship, it's bound to happen. No two people are completely alike in the way they think, their personalities, their likes and dislikes, so disagreements are really just a matter of time. While fights between partners is nothing to raise any eyebrows about, there are good fighting habits and there are bad ones. Good habits make your relationship stronger while bad ones wear down not just the relationship, but both of you as individuals. Here are some good habits you should pick up when it comes to fighting with the one you love.

1. Pick your battles

Before you fight, pause and consider if the issue at hand is even worth fighting about. Just because you're upset doesn't mean there are real issues or principles at stake. None of us are above a little pettiness and we all have bad days when the littlest of things can set us off. So, ask yourself if the issue is worth fighting about. If this were the fight to break you up (it could happen), would it be worth it? Oftentimes, we pick fights over the most trivial of things and it's only when it's too late, when we and our partners are both hurting from the fight when we realize we're fighting over something really stupid. So, pick your battles, and master the art of letting things go to save yourself and your partner from a world of unnecessary pain.

2. Fight the problem, not the person

Bear in mind that when arguing, winning is not the goal--fixing the problem is. In the heat of an argument, we tend to lose sight of what the actual problem is, veering off course and attacking our partners by bringing up the past, throwing out accusations and firing off a whole bunch of hurtful words. Not only does the problem remain unsolved, both sides wind up even more upset than when they started and bruised blacker and bluer for it.

3. Never deal in absolutes

When fighting, watch your language--especially with your usage of the words 'never' and 'always', as in "you're always lying" or "you never support me". These words tend to be used and abused when we fight, and it's especially hurtful because it not only discounts all the times your partner has done right or made the effort to do so, it also has them thinking that's what you think of them, even if those statements aren't true and you only said it in a fit of anger.

4. Listen with an open mind

When fighting, most of us default into thinking we're right. We know why we're upset and the reasons are rock solid. Our game plan going into the fight is to make clear our feelings and our perspectives, and to get our partners to understand our point of view. The thing is our partners probably think the same, and just like us, they're sure their reasons are bulletproof. In my experience, in most situations, both parties have valid reasons for doing what they did. So, hear each other out and understand each others' motivations. Even if things didn't come out right, most times, they came from a place of love and you can only know this if you hear each other out with an open mind.

5. Don't talk sh-t about your partner

What you keep telling yourself, you start to believe. Likewise, talking sh-t about your partner eventually affects the way you see them, which in turn colours your interaction with them, and consequently, hurts your relationship.

6. Don't b-tch about your partner to your friends (too much)

When we run into trouble in our relationships, the first thing many of us do is whip out our phones and start b-tching to our friends. We rant and we build a case against our partners, telling these stories from our biased point of view, even exaggerating some of the details to pull our friends over to our side. And it feels good to get it off our chests and to have our feelings and reasons validated. The thing is when our partners do something nice or sweet for us, not all of us relay that information to our friends, leaving them with this one-dimensional, terrible view of our partners. Many of the times, we wind up forgiving our partners, because in the grand scheme of all the good things they've done and added to our lives, the bad stuff amounts to little. But our friends don't have that full picture and may not forgive them, leading to all sorts of other tensions and drama.

1. They're Open To Criticism

"When you can comfortably start a conversation knowing that the other person won't be petty or defensive. Just honest opinions shared." - JELLOSTAIN

2. Talking About It Means Talking About It

"When we disagree on something, we talk about it instead of yelling at the top of our voices at each other." - ishouldbeworking00

3. They Fight Clean

"When mad, she didn't just say sh*t to hurt me. She would just focus on the issue. It makes so much difference." - Reluctanttwink

4. You're Always Excited To See Them

"You never dread seeing them. If you want to hang out and do things with your SO, that's for sure a 'green flag'." - sexualfannypack

5. You Make Each Other Better People

"Commitment to helping you be a better person, while also being open to any assistance in becoming a better person themselves." - mstarrbrannigan

6. You Are NOT Their Everything

"As weird as it sounds, being completely independent of you. There is a stable life outside of you, but still choosing you as a priority. If they don't have other friends or hobbies and want to spend every minute with you, it is kind of concerning." - dirtywiggles

7. They Lift You Up

"If they make you feel good about yourself." - DoobaDoobaDooba

8. No Stupid Games

"Instead of playing games, they follow through. Call when they say they are going to call. Show up to things they said they'd go to, and on time. They make you a priority." - 1robotsnowman

9. No Egos In Bed

"We can have honest discussions on what we like and don't like in bed and whatever kinks we have." - badassmthrfkr

10. They Respect You

"Takes your side in public and tells you when you're wrong in private." - motelcheeseburger

11. They're Not Too Good To Say 'Sorry'

"Ability to apologize and admit that they were wrong, acted irrationally, etc." - AM0XY

12. What's Yours Isn't Necessarily Mine

"Not entitled to my money. My girlfriends seem to think I'm required to spend money on them, even though they are financially independent. Don't get me wrong, I offer to pay for dinner, spend lots on Christmas and birthdays, and I do buy them things, but every time I don't, they get like 'you don't love me' or some sh*t. My current girlfriend doesn't do this, and I'm so f*cking happy." - Vermillion9861

13. The Love They Give Your Pets

"Loving your pet as much as you do." - shadoue

How did you know your partner was/is a keeper? Add to the list! Submit your story to [email protected].

1. She was a dull conversationalist

"One-word replies, lack of interest in asking/answering questions, or just flat-out having nothing interesting to say. Nothing kills a conversation boner quicker." - imMellow

2. She was too self-involved

"Our conversation had gotten stale and it always circled around her and the shit that she likes to talk about. However, when it's my turn to talk about myself and the shit that I like to talk about, not only would the enthusiasm drop but it would be followed by one word replies. Not about that life man." - surnguy

3. Too little words, too many emojis

"Turns out I wasn't talking to her, I was just talking to her bank of emojis." - Wakkajabba

4. I was the only one asking questions

"Usually because they don't do anything to keep the conversation going. I shouldn't be the only one asking questions, etc." - RemoteProvider

5. Yeah right she's busy

"When I don't get a text back for hours, but anytime we hang out the girl's eyes are glued to her phone." - Jesstosterone

6. I don't do playing hard to get

"It's not like I would even want to f*ck her or anything like that. I genuinely enjoy having casual female friends. But if I'm interested in her and she acts like she's interested but she doesn't want to solidify anything like playing hard to get (which frankly a huge number of women do) I'll just drop it and move along, because I'll feel like I've wasted my time." - DrWhiskeySmokes

7. She was clearly not into it

"I'll only stop texting if they stop taking interest, e.g one word answers or 'haha omg emoji'. You can tell they're having a better conversation with someone else." - DabidoZ

8. It started to feel like a chore

"With one girl I realised one day that I could no longer remember why I'd been interested in her. It'd become sort of a habit. I'd contact her, she'd somehow kill the conversation or I'd have to do all the work. Happened gradually, didn't notice at first. And then came that day when the thought just popped into my head "Why are you making this effort? Why are you interested in this girl?" And I couldn't for the life of me find a decent answer. There'd definitely been a spark originally but it had faded so gradually I hadn't noticed it go." - RedAndBlackStillPlay

9. It was a test. Kind of.

"I was always the one who was initiating conversations. I stopped initiating the conversations to see if she would and she never did, so I figure she just didn't care about me so I should just stop trying." - carrotosmosis

10. Came down with a case of the feelings

"Started getting too attached when I was not getting the same feelings back. Easier to cut it off then to just ignore it." - Inebriatedwatermelon

Guys, why did you stop texting after awhile? Add to the list! Submit your story to [email protected].