Tag: life

If there’s one question I dread the most in a job interview, it’s “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I don’t even know what I want for lunch, let alone the next five years of my life. Sure, I’ve been taught model answers to impress employers, but that doesn’t take away the fact that it’s honestly a freaking scary commitment to make.

Recently, a Redditor posed this question to Singaporeans:

“Corporate slaves, how do you stop dreading going to work every day?”

To which the top reply began with “Welcome to work life bro.”

Top reply from Redditor aSingaporean: “I envy those who love their work and love what they’re doing.”

Indeed. Welcome to work life.

As a (relatively) young Singaporean who has come to realise the importance of money in modern day life, this is highly relatable. When I first graduated into the working world, I was on hindsight, naively idealistic. “Money isn’t everything,” I used to proudly proclaim. “I’d rather earn little doing what I like than be paid well doing something I hate.”

However the truth is, the moment you start becoming financially independent is the moment you realise that money is important.

Yet, the scariest part of this ‘welcome to the work life’ notion is how everyone of us relate to it. It is scary because there’s this sense of aimlessness and purposeless that is so pervasive in our society.

This concept of us having to work till we die just to survive in Singapore isn’t new.

All my life, I’ve heard people sigh over not knowing what they truly want in life (myself included). A lot of us end up just cruising through, hoping that someday, somehow, we will find a deeper purpose. And until we do, we will continue to put up with jobs that we convince ourselves to stay in, and we will continue to despair over having to spend nine hours a day, five days a week for the rest of our lives, selling our soul to work just to earn money to live.

We’re But A Nation Of Corporate Zombies

Image Credit: Yoga delle Stelle

It’s a problem of the privileged. For our previous generations and the poor, the need for survival far outweighs the luxury of achieving ideals in one’s career.

However, having grown up in an entirely different world where survival isn’t a concern, the many opportunities we have been given have inadvertently spoilt us. Where there isn’t that pressure of survival, what we face is a deep longing to chase something that fulfils us. And for many of us, we either don’t know what fulfils us, or we are too afraid to chase it.

Our perpetual state of mind
Image Credit: YourTango

Perhaps it’s our upbringing. We're all moulded according to a default educational structure set out for the masses. Grades were everything and scoring well in school pretty much determines one’s journey ahead—score well and be rewarded a smooth-sailing journey ahead, else, be prepared to work extra hard in the future just to reach a level playing field.

And when there's no more academic excellence to pursue, it is very easy for one to feel lost. We have never been taught to pursue excellence in non-academic interests, or rather, it is always not a priority compared to scoring well in our English, Math, and Sciences.

Having worked with batches of interns across the various jobs I’ve done, I can confidently say that a lot of JC, polytechnic, and university graduates don’t really know what they want to do or where to go after they graduate.

“Maybe I’ll travel first lor, see how.”

“Not sure leh, see what opportunities there are out there first.”

Everyone is just lost. There’s no clear direction in life. When we have reached that point of our life, no one’s there to tell us what to study or what to do anymore. And that can be very scary for a fresh graduate, because we want to prove our worth. Even our first job has to be ideal, because we know how important a first job is and how it is going to affect our resume and portfolio.

Many youths I’ve spoken to who has taken a gap year shared how they’ve had to convince their parents, because taking one year to ‘find yourself’ is a waste of time in their parents’ eyes. However, it is often this one year of exposure and experience in the ‘real world’ that matures us. For some, it is what helps them find purpose, or at least, it is what shows them what they absolutely do not want to do. But I believe there is also a large number of people who teeter on, just getting a job for sustenance and wishing for change to happen.

Nothing’s Going To Happen, Bro.

However, purpose is also a choice. And a lot of us end up never finding our purpose because we are too afraid to pursue what we want.

Most of the time, it is not that we don’t know what we want in life, but we are too afraid to acknowledge those dreams we have. Pursuing dreams is hard work and as with anything, a risk.

It could be that we are worried about finances—what if we lose money? It could be the self-doubt and fear that we aren’t good enough to ‘make it’ in Singapore’s ultra competitive landscape. Along with that, there’s the fear that we will be wasting time if our efforts go to nothing. Even with advice like ‘don’t be afraid to fail’, the possibility of failure and ‘losing face’ from failing is terrifying, and it deters a lot of us from dipping our toes into new territories.

We end up creating excuses to convince others and ourselves to stay within our comfort zone. At the end of the day, we just follow through the motions, waiting for something to happen. This will cause anyone to get jaded very easily and very quickly.

The only way to find purpose and be happy with our life is to figure out what we truly want and more importantly, to work for it. And it’s encouraging to see more and more Singaporeans quitting their corporate lives in their late twenties to thirties to pursue what they’ve always wanted to do: in starting their own fashion label, running their own hawker stall, and many more.

There’s no way to achieve perfection in all aspects of life because life is just that short. It really goes down to knowing what we want to prioritise.

It doesn’t matter if we are driven by money or if it’s a desire to do social work, because as long as we know what to work for, half the battle is won. Because only then will we be able to figure out what we can do in our everyday lives to fulfil ourselves. And nothing ever comes easy, so either we get busy living, or get busy complaining.

Also read: A Letter To The Singapore Government, From A Young Singaporean.
(Header Image Credit: <a href="

If one were to walk past Crow on the streets, one would easily pass him off as ‘one of those matreps’. After all, he fits perfectly into that mould: Malay, tattooed arms, smokes, plays the guitar and sings. His appearance and the stereotypical label that comes with it naturally meant that he has to put in twice the effort to earn the respect of society. What makes it that much harder is the stain of a criminal record that follows him for life. When I met Crow at Orita Sinclair School of Design & Music where he’s studying however, his calm and friendly disposition is a complete opposite of who he described himself to be in his wayward adolescent years. If I wasn’t aware of his past from a video feature our team did of him a year ago, I will never fathom that he was once a prominent gang member and had served six years in prison for gang-related activities and what was classified as a murder case. https://www.facebook.com/millennialsofsingapore/videos/749610395200380/ He spoke briefly about his journey in our video so when I caught up with him last week, I wanted to dive deeper into how everything started and also how much life has changed for him since the team last met him.

Growing Up In A Different World

Unlike average Singaporeans, Crow never had a proper family growing up. Neither did he really have a home. Home was wherever the person his single mother paid to look after him stayed, for she had to slog day and night to support him and his stepbrother.
Crow Yuzree
An old photo that Crow kept of his mum and him
With no family and no place he could truly call home, he sought solace in his friends. The many fights he got into with his mum for his lack of interest in studies pushed him further down the wrong path. At 14, he dropped out of school and a year later, joined a gang. “All my friends started joining the gang so I thought, why not? Since they are all in there, I’ll just join them too.” It is from thereon that Crow fell into the typical ‘gangster lifestyle’. He got tattooed, went clubbing, took drugs, sold drugs, got into fights, slashed and hurt many people with the use of weapons. To an outsider, these are acts done by people who do not know what they are doing. And this isn’t far from the truth. These made up Crow’s teenage years.
Crow Yuzree's past
A typical day for Crow back then include hanging out at the club, which tend to lead to fights
Crow’s world was about survival in the most primal sense. Where fights are default solutions to conflicts, violence became normalised behaviour for him. “I’m someone who want to be the best so I did whatever is expected of me and do it well to prove my worth in the gang.” Soon enough, Crow climbed the ranks and made a name for himself in the ‘gang scene’. Yet, none of his family members knew about his identity.

The First Changing Point

Things took a turn when Crow was 19. After surviving from a fight that left him with injuries so bad he was admitted to the ICU, and seeing his crying mother at the foot of his bed, the mother and child reconciled. That moment brought back long lost feelings of love and concern that he had always longed for from her. Their relationship improved but just four months after, she passed away from a sudden illness.
“It felt like the world just stopped.”
It was at that point that Crow started reflecting and decided to leave the gang. At 19 and serving NS however, it wasn’t long before Crow found himself back in the predicament of going back to his old days due to financial pressures. With $350 of his $520 monthly allowance going towards the rental of his mum’s flat, the remaining was barely enough to cover utilities, food, and transport among other expenses. Life After Prison He started selling cigarettes to earn and eventually succumbed to selling drugs when the bills piled up. One thing led to the other and he was soon back in his old gang. This time round, as a headman of a particular territory with over 20 boys under him.

The Law Caught Up

Things started going South when a huge fight left one of his gang members dead. Knowing that the investigations will lead the police to him, he went into hiding at various hotels and friends’ houses. He was caught in the end, along with all his boys when they were celebrating Ramadan back in his rental home. Detained by MHA under the Criminal Law Act and sent to prison immediately with no release date came as a shock to Crow at first.
“I knew what I was doing wasn’t right but I never imagined actually being in prison.”
Prison life was undoubtedly hard and it took him more than a year to accustom himself to the new life. Facing four walls all day, losing the freedom to do what he wants to do, and having to perform the same routine over and over again was a huge mental challenge. The hardest part, however, is that there was no ‘end date’ to all of that because he did not know when he was going to be released, or whether he was even going to be released. Many times, Crow had to distract himself from such depressing thoughts by doing things he never would have done prior, like reading. Disgruntled by how the legislation could lock anyone up without any release date, he decided to ‘take revenge’, “I was thinking that since they are going to do this to me, fine, I will take full advantage of whatever facilities or resources they have.” Who knew that that motivation was what became the turning point of Crow’s life. Life After Prison After getting into Prison School and realising that he could actually do anything well if he puts his mind to it, he went on to complete his O-levels and A-levels there. Most of all, as he was exposed to more knowledge, he begin to realise what he wanted to do when he gets out. “I want to be a better me, to do good things for myself and for people. If not for myself, I owe it to all my loved ones who have visited me to do so.”

Letting Bygones Be Bygones

After six years, Crow finally got his second chance in life. Leaving prison and his past behind in 2016, he decided to use what he experienced and channel his learnings towards touching the lives of people through music.
Life After Prison
“Music can make people feel things and it’s amazing that within that few minutes, you can change someone’s life or perspective. I want to do that with my music.”
He went on to pursue a two year part-time Diploma in Music Production and Audio Engineering. As a personal bid to prove his self-worth, Crow also works on freelance video editing projects to earn his own keep despite receiving full sponsorship from Yellow Ribbon project to help his reintegration into society. When asked if he is worried about potential trouble from his past for sharing about it, Crow explained humbly, “there’s a lot of genuinely nice people who have made bad choices in life, but lack the motivation or courage to change. I hope that my story can inspire them, that they can change too if they want to.” With only a few days to his graduation show on 15 October where he will be performing his first Single, Dunia Duit(Malay for ‘World of Money’), I wondered if the 29-year-old regrets his past. “I wouldn’t say I regret because if not for all the things that I have done and gone through, I will probably still be that naive guy with no clue what he’s doing with his life.” Beyond the social stigma, being branded an ex-offender comes with real impediments like not being to travel, having a curfew, and being restricted from certain places. Regardless, Crow doesn’t see his past actions as a hindrance to his future. When I asked if he feels the same way with his mother however, I could tell the remorse in the slight quiver in his voice. “My mum worked very hard to make ends meet so my only regret is not being able to show her my O-level results. I’ve gone on to succeed in many positive things but she will never be able to witness it.” Also read, 65-Year-Old Mdm Rebecca’s Life: A Look At The Reality Of Singapore’s Privilege Gap.
Her family was torn apart by a big family dispute over property. Today, 65-year-old Mdm Rebecca only has her 76-year-old cousin as family. To avoid getting embroiled in the disputes, Mdm Rebecca decided to sever all ties with her family. The last time she spoke to her only brother was more than 40 years ago. Today, she lives in a one-room rental flat in Punggol. Her 76-year-old cousin whom she cares for is bedridden and suffering from Parkinson’s and stroke among other ailments. In her heyday more than 10 years ago, Mdm Rebecca dabbled in PR, secretarial work, and was once a housing agent. However, a severe respiratory problem left her with no choice but to stop working. Life got more challenging since then. Most of her household ‘income’, which comes from her cousin and her retirement funds, as well as her cousin’s social welfare payout, is spent on her cousin’s medical necessities like medicine and bandages. Then, there’s the struggle of being unemployed and being the only caregiver to her bedridden cousin. Mdm Rebecca’s daily routine includes feeding her cousin milk through a tube seven times through the day, changing his diapers several times, giving him the medications he needs for different conditions, repositioning his body every two hours, and stretching his limbs to prevent his muscles from atrophy and shortening. She also has to monitor him throughout the day for any signs of discomfort. She would then have to use a vacuum-cleaner-like machine and a tube to manually suck the phlegm out from his lungs - a painful but critical process for her cousin that has to be done a few times a day. With the bulk of her time dedicated to caring for her cousin, what little time she has left is spent on reading and praying. A ‘vacation’ for her today is as simple as being able to go out for a meal with a friend. Even so, she has to return home within three hours to care for her cousin. Hiring a caretaker or a maid to do her job is out of the question and it isn’t just the lack of finances. Having had maids who have told her lies, stole from her, and even cursed her with black magic, she could no longer trust them. Bad experiences with nursing homes that led to the passing of her comatose mother and the close-to-death state that her cousin returned in after a 2-day respite care have also left a bad taste in her mouth. Since then, Mdm Rebecca resolved to taking care of her cousin herself.

“My mother had already suffered. I don’t want my cousin to go through the pain of what my mother had to go through.”

Attributing her strength to her religion, Mdm Rebecca emphasised on how a positive mindset helped tide her through the hardships. “Life is temporary and all these challenges are part of life. I don’t cry easily because crying doesn’t change anything. I just do my best with what I have and I pray for the best.” As I chatted with Mdm Rebecca at her doorstep while volunteers from the Young NTUC- North East CDC Project Refresh were cleaning up her unit and giving the walls a fresh coat of paint, I couldn’t help but admire her for her resilience.
Project Refresh
Volunteers painting the walls of Mdm Rebecca’s flat

Her fizzy, greyed hair and gaunt face tells of a woman who is still facing adversity, but Mdm Rebecca’s strong spirit is refreshing and humbling. She spoke about helping neighbours in need and counselling her friends and their children. Her empathy in prioritising other people’s problems above so many of her own made me feel a mix of guilt and respect.  

Having come from a relatively privileged middle-class background, I couldn't comprehend the significance of her struggles until I stepped into her home. Mdm Rebecca’s home is about as big as a typical HDB flat’s living room, with a small corner as kitchen and a toilet right beside it. The only bed in the flat is taken up by her cousin.
Project Refresh
Volunteers painting the walls and tidying up the kitchen area of Mdm Rebecca’s flat
As such, volunteers from Project Refresh brought in a foldable mattress for her and a desk fan. Part of the project’s efforts to improve the standards of living for the underprivileged, volunteers also helped to clean the flat, paint the walls, tidy up the home, and change the flat’s light bulbs to more cost-efficient ones as part of the ‘Switch and Save - Use LED initiative’. Project Refresh’s first session in 2016 started off with just 30 volunteers covering five units. With more and more volunteers coming onboard, the Project Refresh session I was at on 18 August saw more than 350 volunteers coming together to spruce up 38 rental units. Many think that millennials are a strawberry generation of entitled and spoilt ‘kids’. That day, however, 60% of the volunteers I saw were millennials.
Project Refresh
The group of volunteers working on Mdm Rebecca’s flat
For 23-Year-Old Jamie*, what they do “may not change the whole world but at least we’re able to impact someone’s life directly.” As her full-time job requires her to deal with wealthy people who live in luxury and never having to worry about basic necessities, volunteering with Project Refresh and learning about the lives of underprivileged people like Mdm Rebecca is a way for her to “feel like human again.” Year 2 student at Nanyang Polytechnic (NYP), Kelvan, was another volunteer I spoke to. Kelvan and four of his NYP classmates were painting the walls of Mdm Latifah’s unit (another resident) when I chatted with them. Still recovering from an operation to treat her osteoarthritis of the knee, 56-Year-Old Mdm Latifah is living on just $210 a month from financial assistance, and food rations from a mosque. Divorced for 30 years, she brought up her only son, who was four back then, all by herself. On some days, Mdm Latifah would even go without food so she can save money.
Project Refresh
Mdm Latifah outside her unit while volunteers were sprucing up her home
Like many elderly and the underprivileged, loneliness is one of the many challenges for her. With no one to talk to or help her with problems, she could only cope with the struggles of a single mother without child support from the father by going for religious classes. “I have 9 siblings and my father, but I don’t want (to bother them). Everyone’s got their own problem.” Volunteering projects like Project Refresh goes beyond the physical act of cleaning up the home. It is showing the beneficiaries that there are people out there who do care for them. The interaction among the volunteers and the beneficiaries could create strong emotional bonds too. Volunteering with Project Refresh for the second time on his own accord, Kelvan decided to sign up again because of the sense of accomplishment and the appreciation he got from the family he helped the first time round. “A couple of us from the last project even went back to visit the family. The children and the parents were just so appreciative and warm. It’s back-breaking work, but I came back because it’s very heartwarming and fulfilling.”
Project Refresh
Mdm Latifah’s living room
Mdm Latifah and Mdm Rebecca are just two of the many underprivileged who live in completely different worlds that most Singaporeans will never experience. “Seeing the conditions they live in, it makes us appreciate the things we have,” Kelvan added. Growing up in a comfortable era where we got to enjoy quality education, a stable economy, and a generally more privileged lifestyle compared to our earlier generations, it is hard to dispute the fact that millennials do demand more. However, we are also a generation that wants to do more.

Volunteer with Young NTUC

As millennials, we tend to procrastinate volunteering as much as we want to give back to society. But today, there are many volunteering opportunities available. Besides Project Refresh, there is also the Young NTUC U Heart, which lets you decide your own do-good projects for low-income families, the environment, for workers, the elderly or people with disabilities, and children or youth-at-risk. So you get to dictate the kind of change you want to make! Learn more about Young NTUC’s volunteering programmes here! * Name has been changed for privacy reasons This post is written in partnership with Young NTUC. Also read: To The Generations Before Us – Trust The Millennials With Singapore’s Future.
After over 20 years of rushing assignments and mugging for papers, you’ll heave a euphoric sigh of relief that you’ve finally graduated. Then come the questions from friends, lecturers, and family: “So what’re going to do next?” or “Have you applied for jobs yet?” For some, you’ve got your ideal path charted out for yourself – good on you! But for many, those questions are as dreadful as the “why are you still single” questions at every family gathering, because honestly, you don’t really know. In the case that you’re stepping out into the ‘working world’, you do have interests of course. You’re keen to learn and grow in a job somewhere, somehow. Yet, you’re filled with doubts. Whether you’ve just graduated and feeling lost, or (like me) have been unsure and hopping from one job to another, know that that’s fine. There’re many Singaporeans who’ve gone through this phase as well, and that doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re flaky. We reached out to 5 Singapore millennials, who shared their journey in finding themselves and their career path.

“Time is so important, so do something you truly find satisfaction in.”

I don't think I had any idea of what I really wanted to do after graduation. I went into procurement, HR, and corporate services on my first job, which wasn't something I expected to be doing at all since I studied Sociology. I then moved on to PR, and today I’m an editor at an online publication. Switching between jobs is something pretty common among peers, and it's not because we're 'soft' or anything. We're just taking more time to find a path that truly suits us. I have switched to different work scopes myself, as I was finding a field I could truly excel and find satisfaction in. Personally, I leave the moment I feel like I'm stagnating, because time is so important. And after going through three jobs, I kind of know where I find the most job satisfaction and which path I can embark on.

It’s Alright…

Don't be afraid to try different jobs, but always know what you're looking for in the long term and work towards it. Don't waste yours, or anyone else's time. – Melissa, 27, Graduated 2013, on the 3rd job

“Everyone’s got a different mindset, so don’t get pressured by others”

Since I graduated with a degree in Banking and Finance, I've changed three jobs and am on my fourth now. I was a bank teller for a year and a service ambassador for another. Afterthat, I taught at an enrichment centre – I used to give tuition during my poly days and I love kids. It was a fulfilling two years before I joined Singapore Airlines as a stewardess. I am a mortgage broker today and my job is to find the best private home loan for homeowners. One of my reasons for switching jobs is to seek new challenges in life. I also felt that I needed to explore different careers before settling on one. I feel that everyone has a different mindset. My parents, spouse, friends, and colleagues have all been very supportive and they would encourage me to go for what I want instead of staying stagnant. However, there were interviewers I met who'd comment on how I changed jobs too quickly and that my experience in different industries varies too much (to be useful).

It’s Alright…

Take your time to find the right career. Your first job may not be your last. Learn as much as you can from every job. Lastly, don't get pressured by anyone, just follow your heart. – Patrina, 27, Graduated 2014, on the 4th job

“If You Are Unsure, Just Try Everything.”

I wanted to be a Radio DJ when I started studying Mass Communication in poly, but my interest pivoted to advertising while there and that stuck until when I was in uni. I got an internship in events management when I left uni, and stayed on in events for about 3 years in 3 different companies. I eventually left in 2016 to pursue something entirely different: standup comedy. I am currently freelancing as an AV crew and emcee, but it’s more to feed myself while I pursue standup comedy. Ultimately, I see standup as my long-term goal. My parents weren’t too pleased with my hopping around from one job to another. They'd say that prospective employers will think I’m not loyal or capable enough to stay in a company. And I do agree. I’ve had bosses who would tend to comment things like, “aiya, all these young kids now like that one la” whenever a (millennial) colleague leaves the company. I think it’s normal for older generations to ‘compare’ and stereotype because we all do. Concurrently, I do think there are people our generation who are pampered.

It’s Alright…

If you are unsure, just try everything. Within my limited scope of experience, I feel there are only two types of people who won’t succeed: Lazy people who blame everything on everyone else. And close-minded people who are unwilling to accept change or criticism. Go into every job with an open mind. You never know where it will lead you and what you may suddenly find interest in. As the Chinese saying goes, "船到桥头自然直", which translates to mean ‘when the boat reaches the harbour, it will naturally go straight’. In other words, everything will be alright. – Eugene Soh, 26, Graduated 2015, on the 3rd job

“You’ll Learn More About Yourself Along The Way”

I only vaguely knew what I liked but had no concrete idea of what I wanted to do after I graduate. Not counting the first internship, I'm on my third job after graduation in 2013. From the different jobs that I have done, I learnt a lot more about what I enjoyed and what I wanted to dedicate myself to. And honestly, once you experience the joy of doing something that you truly like, it changes how you view work. I did Sociology in school, started working in the community sector, and now I'm on my second job in the arts industry. And even now, there are still many things that I want to try.

It’s Alright…

Remember that who you are isn’t only reflected by how well you do at work. There’s a lot more that makes up who you are as a person. So it’s okay to not know what you want to do. Just keep trying new things and you’ll learn more about yourself along the way. – Michelle, 27, Graduated 2013, on the 3rd job

“You Will Eventually Find Your Path”

I wanted to become a pre-school teacher when I was young. I even took an early childhood education cert before my Diploma in Business Admin. But after a 3-month internship, I realised it wasn’t something I could do for a long time. At first, I didn’t know what I wanted to do so I just did whatever gave me a better salary. I was practical. But I always find myself getting bored after a year or less. After Poly, I jumped from being a Distributor Support Representative to a Sales Coordinator to a Bank Assistant in an IT dept to  doing admin work at another bank. I finally found my career path on my fifth job, in events management. It’s a job that constantly challenges me to innovate and improve, and that gives me great satisfaction, especially when I hear feedback from all the happy clients I work for.

It’s Alright…

You don’t have to worry or think too much about switching jobs. What you’re studying now may not apply to what you’re going do in the real world and work experiences are way more important. Your first job may not be what you like to do and you may end up feeling lost. But it’s just part and parcel of our life. Eventually, you will find a job you like – I did. – Kristin, 29, Graduated 2009, on the 5th job

“Don't Be Afraid To Explore”

One thing for sure, you shouldn’t be afraid to dabble in different things. At the end of the day, if you’re going to be spending all those hours working to survive, make your time worthwhile – do something meaningful for you. Admittedly, we are a generation blessed with a lot more opportunities and possibilities than our moms and dads. So, what better way to take advantage of that than to go forth and explore! Also read, Baristas From 6 Singapore Cafes Spill The Beans On The Weirdest Customer Requests.
People say kids say the darndest things. I say we were told the darndest things. We’ve all heard stories like how we've been picked up from the long kang, or that the mangali or the police will catch us if we’re naughty. We asked millennials what other ridiculous things they believed as gullible kids and here are their hilarious stories.

The Classic Tales

1. “A tree will grow out from my stomach and my mouth if I swallow seeds.” – Celine 2. “That the moon is a spy because it follows us everywhere.” – Alvin 3. “If you sleep beside a boy, you will get pregnant.” – Carmela 4. “I shouldn’t hold the chopsticks too high when I eat noodles, or else I will marry someone from far, far away. Who knows, I’m dating a Malaysian now, so quite true?” – Natasha 5. “The amount of rice left in your bowl after a meal will determine how many pimples your future wife/husband's face will have.” – Daniel 6. “If you point at the moon and don’t apologise, the moon will cut your ear.” “Cannot shake leg, if not money will fly away.” – Roger 7. “That sweets can grow ants! The very first time, my mum told me in Mandarin “生蚂蚁” (literally translated to mean grow ants), and after that, really seeing sweets with ants, I believed it.” “I used to believe that when I tell lies, my nose will grow like Pinocchio. When I was young, I would always hold my nose after I told a lie, and when adults kept saying that I have a really high nose, I believed it was because of lies.” – Wynn

The Monsters

8. “I believed in the Window Monster. My mom said that if I lean on the window, the Window Monster will grab me.” – Annabelle 9. “You know those black, round manhole covers on the floor of wet markets? I used to think that there are crocodiles inside. My sister told me she lied to me back then because she just wanted to scare me.” – Kristin 10. “It was very popular for those Chinese zombie movies to be playing on TV back then. The zombies are those that will hop around with a yellow talisman on their foreheads. My mom wanted me to bring a talisman to school as a form of protection, non-related to the zombies. When I refused, she told me it was to stop a zombie if I encountered one, just so I would bring the talisman out with me.” – Wen 11. “My brother used to believe in the Toilet Ghost. His back faces the toilet when he uses the computer at home, so he's afraid of it. He still keeps the toilet door closed today, and he’s still scared of bathing at night.” – Mindy

The Dental Stories

12. “My mom made me believe that if I don’t finish my rice, my teeth will start dropping. I remember there was once I didn’t finish my rice and the next day my baby tooth came loose and dropped out. I kept crying and went to the rice container and said sorry and I wanted my tooth back.” – Kenny 13. “When your baby teeth fall off, if it’s the upper set of teeth, you have to throw it out of the window downwards, and if it’s the lower set of teeth, then you have to throw it upwards. This is so that when you grow up, you will have prefect, straight teeth.” 14. “My parents also made me believe in the Tooth Fairy. They would secretly stash coins under my pillow in place of my tooth.” – Daphnie

The Innocent Ones

15. “My grandma used to have the Rediffusion radio box, and the wire ran into one of the other rooms in her house. Like, it ran up the wall to the ceiling then all the way into another room. It seemed like that room was always locked so I used to think someone was inside doing the show, until we moved and they unlocked the room. I found out it was just a storeroom with a power socket.” – Eugene 16. “My preschool teacher would scare me, saying that if I was naughty, she would put a cone over me and make my head disappear.” - Kenny 17. “I used to believe the MSG packets in Mamee Noodles were silicon packets. My mom said it's to keep the noodle dry and that I will die if I ate it. One day I saw a friend open and pour the MSG packet in and I was so horrified, I told him he will die. That's when I learnt I was cheated by my mom.” – Bling

The Ones About Nature

18. “My friend believed that plants have blood too, like animals.” – Bing Han 19. “I used to believe rock sugar came from real rocks. I found out it was a lie when I scrubbed a random rock for a long time.” – Wendy 20.If you step on a snail and the shell cracks, it will become huge and eat you up.” – Mai 21. “Back in my mother's kampong in Malaysia, she would give me a small plate of salt and told me to feed the snails when they appear. She said it's their favourite food. I didn't understand why they would disappear after I fed them but she assured me the snails are just shy. Turns out she just didn't want them to ruin her vegetable garden and made me do the dirty work instead.” – Samantha

The Truly Singaporean Ones

22. “I used to believe that Santa Claus would come from the rubbish chute because HDBs got no chimneys and the chute was the closest thing.” – Samantha 23. “I stay in Bukit Batok and used to think Tampines was just next door, because whenever my father drives us out to Tampines, I would sleep in the car and wake up already there.” – Jeremy

The Very Weird Ones

24. “If you bite your fingernails, those leftover fingernails will run to a corner by themselves and when there's enough, it will make a clone of you and take over you – thanks Mr Midnight.” – Jun Yuan 25. “I believed my parents didn't pull my limbs as much as they did for my brothers when we were babies, that's why I'm so short.” “Last time I thought that if I don't shit out from below, the shit will accumulate and come out from my mouth.” – Yun Jie What are some ridiculous or silly things you believed as a kid? Share them with us in the comments below! Also read, The JC Merger Marks The End Of An Era – These Ex-Students Share Their Last Goodbye
A mostly unspoken ideal in the world we live in is unfettered stoicism - we all admire people who don't flinch in the face of adversity. People who don't whine or complain about their problems. People who work hard to achieve their dreams with nary a complaint. Even in relationships, people never seem to tell each other how they feel directly. We play these little word and mind games with each other, and then complain when we are misunderstood. Essentially, we have entire societies filled with people who aspire to live with no attachments or messy emotions. It's unsurprising, really. In a world where we can, for fun, literally put our lives on display for the world to see, how could we not try a little too hard to paint ourselves in a completely positive manner? But the truth is this: we can't avoid having negative feelings. No matter how hard we try, we can never get away from the chemical secretions our brains periodically use to colour our perceptions - even if, sometimes, the colours are kind of ugly. Our attempts at maintaining a constant, Zen-esque calm at anything and everything life throws at us by emotionally distancing ourselves from anything is... well... laughable. Consider this quote from Buddha himself, the one guy we all look up to when we want to stay cool and zen: "The root of all suffering is attachment." Most of us know this quote - you've probably seen it on the feed of some hipster's Facebook page, typed out in cursive font underneath a badly cropped pictured of the Buddha. What most people don't know is that, according to Zen Buddhism, this statement is generally considered a type of ko-an, which is basically a riddle of sorts designed to screw with your head. You see, if one were to follow through with this statement - get it tattooed on your left buttcheek, shave your head, sell off all of your possessions, and fly off to Nepal or something to live in the mountains with a bunch of goats, you would find yourself completely miserable still. Think about it. You'd be enjoying that awesome mountain view, but somewhere in the back of your head you'd still wish you had a phone to snap a picture of the moment with (#eatpraylove #wanderlust #findingmyself #positivity #nopainnogain). Three days later, while picking at the bowl of grass that is supposed to be your breakfast, you'd quickly get an insane craving for chicken nuggets. Give it another week or so, and you’d get on a plane back home, ashamed and frustrated with yourself at your failure to rid yourself of desire. Why? Because, as the Buddha discovered during his days of meditation under a tree, it isn't possible for one to live without emotion, or attachment. The desire to not desire is still…well, a desire. See? You can’t win! In fact, a huge source of anxiety comes from the frustration at having the desire to not desire, on top of all those other desires you can’t get rid of anyway. If we are to truly find happiness and satisfaction with our lives, we have to understand that we are only human, and that the negative feelings and attachments we form are perfectly normal, and nothing to be ashamed about. Let’s be open with our feelings, our wants, and our desires, all so we can better control what we do with them.
It’s throwback time! Let’s wind the clock back, all the way to our primary school years. Remember how you’d observe the P6s - how tall and old and worldly they seemed. Or even peering at our seniors as a lowly Sec 1 kid, having just lost your place as top dog in the school. Now that you think about it, they were a mere three years older but it still seemed ages away. Growing up, we’d plot our futures - financially independent with a house… married with your first kid… I for one, definitely wanted a dog. We’d have it all together. And we’d do it by the distant, arbitrary age of... let's say 27. Now, fast forward to present day. Whether you’ve just hit the big 2-1 or are edging toward the dreaded realm of the mid-twenties, suddenly 27 doesn’t seem so far away.  And suddenly, you realise you’re not going to wake up one day and be an adult. Things aren’t going to magically fall into place. In fact, you have no idea what you’re doing.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

It’s an interview question staple. And if it’s not 5 years, it’s 10. Having grand vision for ourselves indicates ambition, drive, a sense of self and what we want out of life. It’s been drummed into us that we need to know where we’re headed and a timeline to our eventual success. We need a master plan - or so society claims. There are benchmarks we need to meet - the steady relationship (let’s not even discuss the impending CNY doom a.k.a interrogation about our love lives), the dream job, a flourishing family. And if you haven’t checked these boxes, well… you done f#*ked up, haven’t you? The pressure to be perfect is intense - it’s okay if you crack a little. This isn’t even factoring in our obsessively curated social media feeds, just another method in which we stack ourselves up against the flawless and highly photogenic lives of family and friends. While we’re so busy trying to plan our lives down to the minute details, we forget that sometimes there are elements of life that are simply beyond our control. As the (instagram sourced) saying goes - life happens; coffee helps.

Failing forward

We’re all scared of failure, and rightly so. No one wants to go after something only to fall short. But when we equate something not going right as outright failure, we’re telling ourselves it’s all essentially wasted time. We believe that settling into a particular university course will dictate our career for the next 40 years - never mind that we had to pick our degrees fresh out of JC knowing very little of ourselves and the world. God forbid we swap majors or deviate from the career path it sets out for us. Or if a long term relationship ends, the fact that it didn’t end in marriage makes it a failure as well. In doing so, we end up negating all the things we’ve learned along the way. Through trying a bunch of things and changing your mind every now and again, you’re not wasting time, you’re getting to know yourself a little better. Life is a series of trial and error, and what you’re doing is learning.

People change

So now that we’ve established that feeling a little lost does NOT make you a failure, here’s something else to chew on. If you’re wondering what the heck you’re doing with your life, perhaps it means you’re in a sort of limbo. Maybe you’re in the process of realising what you once wanted for yourself no longer holds true now. Give yourself permission to be fluid and flexible. People change, circumstances change and so will your ambitions. Here’s why not knowing is a good thing - you channel it into fuel and let it feed your drive. Because no one ever really has it all figured out, and operating under the illusion that you do and you have your path laid out before you kills that hunger.

What do you want?

Screw knowing what you’re going to do with your life - it’s time to tweak this existential spiral of question. Think about what you’re doing today instead. It’s great to have a clear plan and an end goal in mind but if you don’t, well that’s just fine too. And the best bet to give yourself one is taking baby steps. Ask yourself “what do I want” - not some grand, hazy notion to come to pass in 30 years time, but in everyday things. What interests you? Who are the important people in your life? What do you like about yourself? What are things you might want to change? A little bit of introspection never hurt anyone. Explore how your values govern how you make decisions. The core truths will emerge, the ones that will carry you through career changes, relationship upsets and low key existential crises. So f#*k not knowing what the f#*k you’re doing with your life, because life will always be plagued with some element of uncertainty. Work on yourself instead, because security in who you are is one of the best navigational tools in your arsenal. Top Image Credit
How often do you pay attention to how much you’re spending on basic items like razors and shampoo? If recent research is to be believed, it might actually pay to be a woman. The pink tax is not an often-discussed topic in Singapore. Mainly because not many know what the pink tax actually is.

WHAT IS THE PINK TAX?

The Pink tax is the proven theory that women pay more for everyday things branded 'for women' than men do, such as women's shampoo, women's razors, and women's hair gel. The pink tax is not particularly a ‘tax’ per se. It’s not like someone deliberately decided that women should have to pay more for their items than men. Have you ever come across a product that came in a pink packaging and was labelled 'feminine'? The pink tax comes from the fact that companies charge more for a women’s version of products because they are supposedly ‘women-friendly’. No one really knows how much truth there is to that. For instance, products like deodorants for women are said to be more ‘sensitive’ and because of that, they somehow cost more. Products like sanitary pads and tampons, in many cases, are considered luxury products. For obvious reasons, these products don’t have male versions. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that they are a necessity for women, yet are victim to sales tax. Having bought women-specific products myself, I recall looking at a shelf of hair products and realising that two identical hair gel products (one for men and the other for women) had two separate costs. Imagine paying an extra dollar for the same brand and quantity of a tube of hair gel than your male counterpart, it doesn't really make much sense.

EARN LESS, PAY MORE

Many women today are choosing to opt for men's products instead. Think about a men’s razor, now think about a women’s razor. What’s the difference? Chances are you wouldn’t find any. Well, besides the colour. Not too long ago, Run Society wrote a piece on how women runners in Singapore spend more than men because the sports essentials for women runners cost more. In the piece, Run Society references The Ministry of Manpower Labour Force’s 2015 report, which states that most women only get paid as much as men until they hit 30, after which they get paid less. It’s no surprise that women fall behind at the workplace. Statistically, Singapore ranks higher than its neighbours in the global gender gap scale. But according to a report by The Economist’s Intelligence Unit, Singaporeans feel the presence of a gender bias more strongly. Apart from the wage gap, one of the key issues in the gender gap is the lack of women in senior management positions. According to The Economist’s Intelligence Unit's report, just 26% of senior executives are estimated to be women in Singapore. That’s lower than the 32% in Malaysia and 34% in Indonesia. If we were to compare these numbers with places like the USA, where 78% of women felt that women are under-represented in leadership positions, it would seem that women in Southeast Asia are less aware of the problems in gender diversity.

HIDDEN PRESENCE

The fact that the pink tax is not really known to many; women included, could mean that it doesn't affect us largely on a daily basis. But if you count every dollar or every cent extra that women pay, it could amount to  a lot. If you're still unconvinced about the presence of the pink tax, the next time you visit personal care stores like Guardian or Watson’s, have a trip down an aisle and compare the male and female version of products. You might be surprised with what you find. Top Image Credit
“Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV.” If you know where that line comes from, good on you! Season 3 is taking way too long, amirite? If you don’t, that’s okay, you’re still cool. And hi, welcome to my article on why it’s good to not give a damn - well, sometimes anyway. I’ll try to get to the end before you stop giving a damn too.

Filling The Void

What is the meaning of life? Has there ever been a question at once so universally pondered and ubiquitously unanswerable? As members of one of the few species on Earth blessed (or cursed) with the ability of metacognition, our quest for meaning in life is an almost-exclusive and inescapable part of the human experience. We fumble for something, anything, to fill the existential void in our hearts. Some fill it with work, love, lust, family, or religion. Others distract themselves with video games, movies, and reading articles online. We live our lives like an endless race to outrun the relentless existential dread that invariably plagues us all, knowing that should we ever slow down in our pursuit of happiness, we might one day fail to answer our own question about why we even bother staying alive. I submit that maybe - just maybe - we should do the unthinkable. We should look back at the darkness that threatens to envelop us and crush our will to live, and instead of running, we should turn around. And we should laugh. 19th Century philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer perhaps said it best: “The life of every individual, viewed as a whole and in general, and when only its most significant features are emphasized, is really a tragedy; but gone through in detail, it has the character of a comedy.” Perhaps true, lasting happiness can only be found when we strip the existential void of its darkness and turn it into one big joke; when we look at our own cosmic insignificance, and instead of shrinking from it, laugh heartily at the ridiculousness of it all.

A For Absurdism

French philosopher and Nobel laureate Albert Camus famously popularized absurdism, a philosophical school of thought based on the central tenet that life consists of two irreconcilable facets – the human desire to find meaning in life, and the universe’s absolute indifference to our existence. In his essay The Myth of Sisyphus, Camus compares the absurdity of human life to the mythical Greek figure Sisyphus, who was sentenced to push a boulder up a mountain only to have it roll back down, again and again, for all eternity. Camus (who is surprisingly optimistic for a philosopher) argues that dwelling on the pointlessness of existence is in itself pointless; that, “The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” He argues against the idea that suicide is the only logical reaction to the Absurd, and that we should instead “revolt” against our insistence on finding meaning.

What's The Point?

Life is ultimately meaningless, but that’s okay. We should continue to chase happiness, and futile as it may be, seek whatever gives us some sense of meaning or measure of peace, whether that be friendship, family, or career. Because to dwell on the futility of existence is to allow that same futility to consume us. However, we must be careful not to take things too far. Much of the ugliness that oftentimes characterizes human behaviour can be attributed to people getting so desperate to fill the sickening, terrifying vacuum of existentialism, that they ascribe far too much meaning to certain things in an effort to compensate. Extremism, selfishness, ego – all these behaviours bear the marks of an oversubscription to some perceived source of meaning in response to meaninglessness. Imagine if we could just take away the horror of our insignificance, and replace it with comedy – a joke shared by all of humanity. Instead of falling to despair when considering the non-existent meaning of life, we should stare at the void in our souls, and while endeavouring to fill it, laugh at the tragic comedy of it all. In the words of Bugs Bunny and Van Wilder: Don’t take life too seriously. No one makes it out alive anyway.