Tag: work

“Secretly, I was ashamed of how I was living. I couldn’t even go out or face relatives during Chinese New Year because I [think that they would] think of me as a leech, a parasite.” Having been made fun of in school for her background and the way she spoke, Andrea* started becoming wary of people. She kept them at arm’s length and although that prevented her from forming any close friendships, it was to protect herself. At least, that was how it began. “I developed a paranoia that people would laugh at or pity my pathetic lack of friends.” As she grew out of adolescence, this fear of social situations manifested into an extreme level of social isolation. Can you imagine yourself being cooped up at home for months on end? Never heading out for lunch with friends, not going to work or school and just idling away in bed? For people like Andrea, that’s their life as hikikomori.
hikikomori welcome to the nhk
Image Credit: <a href="

WHAT'S HIKIKOMORI?

For the uninitiated, hikikomori is a term used to describe those who rarely leave their house, and seek extreme degrees of isolation. Some never set foot outside their homes. Others occasionally do, heading out to buy food or even to the cinemas for the latest blockbuster, but all of them are completely, socially isolated. They would even limit their interaction with their own family members. Although this social phenomenon is predominantly widespread in Japan, I recently stumbled upon a Reddit thread that tells me that we too, have our share of social recluses hidden in their rooms somewhere, unseen by society. Through a local forum, I stumbled upon Andrea’s story. Back then, Andrea cooped herself up at home for eight consecutive months. Waking up at five every morning, she spends her time browsing Reddit, reading and binging on TV series, only leaving her room for lunch and dinner, which her parents would prepare for her. At around 11 pm, she will head to bed and the same routine repeats for months, and in those months, she did not step out of her house once.
Her home had become a place of solace for her, a fortress she can’t bear to leave.
Likewise, this is the case for the many hikikomori in Singapore, who have taken to forums to pour the feelings that they have hidden away from their friends and family.

WHY DO THEY ADOPT THE HIKIKOMORI LIFESTYLE?

Hailing from a ‘financially comfortable’ background, Andrea is aware that she is more fortunate than most, as she could afford the option of not having to work or fend for herself. But because of that, she feels more pressured to pay her parents back for all that they have done for her. The low self-esteem, crippling social anxiety, and negative outlook on life that came from her being bullied in school when she was younger kept her imprisoned. The self-imposed pressure and the expectations about the future stressed her out and caused her to feel even more helpless. When she finally entered the workforce, work became her life. All she did was wake up, go to work, head home to have dinner with her parents, and repeat. Due to her micromanaging boss, she grew to resent work. Even so, she continued working for some years to save up a sum of money before eventually resigning, dampened by the rat race. “So after that, I didn’t really have a plan. I just stayed home. Months quickly turned into years. And because I was used to a solitary lifestyle of just reading and watching drama and anime, I just shut myself off from society and basically became hikikomori, just living off my parents and my savings.”

ONLY FOR THE PRIVILEGED?

Of course, not everyone is privileged enough to be able to just drop everything and withdraw from society in the first place — most of us are not as financially blessed. Through r/hikikomori, I was able to speak to another Singaporean hikikomori, 24-year-old Josh*, who shared how he was once a hikikomori. Like Andrea, Josh comes from a financially stable family.
“Maybe we were too sheltered. Maybe we were too spoiled and everything comes to us easy and without any barriers. Back then, I felt that no matter how useless I was, I would still be able to live comfortably, or still be able to live somehow.”
An avid fan of Disney’s classics, Josh had a grandiose dream of being a 2D Animator for Disney. When news broke that Disney closed down their 2D animation company, his hopes and dreams were dashed. Dejected, he let himself waste away, passing the days by gaming and watching anime at home.

WHAT'S THE CAUSE FOR THIS?

For many of us, such behaviour is aberrant and tough to comprehend, much less empathise with. It’s not surprising for us to jump on the conclusion that hikikomori chose to stay cooped up at home because they are just “lazy” and “spoiled”. “We all have problems, so why can’t they just do something about their problems?” But unlike what we think, the hikikomori syndrome is not another convenient excuse to be idle.
In fact, most, if not all, hikikomori hate the plight that they put themselves in, and they are ashamed of it.
“When I was hikikomori, I lost all desire for wants. Normal things like going to movies or buying expensive new things don’t interest me anymore. I don’t know why I exist, to be honest. Sometimes I can feel my parents’ disappointment in me and I don’t feel good too,” shares Andrea. They have confined themselves to their homes, but most hikikomori actually want to return to society. However, the fear and anxiety of how society may react to them. Even if they manage to take the first step out of their homes, they are plagued by this constant fear that they are being judged by those around them, afraid that the world wouldn’t come to accept them because of their past. Maika Elan, a Photographer exploring the topic of hikikomori, shared on National Geographic that “Over time, hikikomori lose whatever self-esteem and confidence they had, and the prospect of leaving home becomes ever more terrifying. Locking themselves in their room makes them feel ‘safe’.” Similarly, Andrea admitted that the very paranoia of being judged for being a hikikomori is the toughest obstacle she had to overcome. She would often slip back into isolation because of it. Thanks to volunteer work at a church, Andrea was able to break out of the hikikomori syndrome. She eventually managed to land herself a job through one of the other volunteers. As for Josh, he stumbled upon the animes Re:Zero and Konosuba, which shifted his perspective on life. Both shows feature male protagonists who were hikikomori and Josh was able to relate to them strongly. “In Re:Zero, it tells us that no matter where you are, nothing’s going to change if you don’t put in any effort to take charge and improve yourself.” Witnessing his friends’ success also pushed him to eventually change his lifestyle.
“What gives them the drive to keep doing what they do? Why are they set on improving themselves and going out there to find jobs and socialise, and to be proactive with their lives?”
These were the questions that Josh posed to himself, and subsequently embarked on a quest to uncover. “Sometimes it’s hard, but you just have to remember that there are other people out there who are struggling and still trying their best as well.” Today, he works as a Digital Designer, which is not too far off from his initial dream. Although, there are others who struggle to break out. “It all started after he finished his degree overseas and came back. He didn’t find work and just stayed at home gaming and surfing the net. We’d ask him to come out for coffee or meals but he’d always turn us down.” Tim*, a male in his 30s, shares with me about his friend who has been a hikikomori for over 10 years. “I’ve a feeling that the shame of being long unemployed while everyone else is working just drives him to become a hikikomori. I guess his parents still buy him food or give him spending money so he doesn’t need to force himself to get a job.”

A VICIOUS CYCLE OF FEAR AND PARANOIA

Although hikikomori is a social condition that has not been widely recognised as a mental illness, many of them do require mental health care. Some turn to this reclusive lifestyle due to a lack of purpose or existential crisis while others do so as a form of rebellion to cope with trauma such as childhood abuse or bullying. While hikikomori wish to recover, they are so ashamed of their past that it freezes them up, causing them to retreat back into their shelter. However, the longer they isolate themselves from society, the harder it will be to integrate back into it. It’s a vicious cycle that they are dealing with. For such people who haven’t interacted with anyone nor formed any ‘proper’ relationships, it could be tougher for them to reintegrate into society as they grow older, especially if their family members (like their parents) are no longer around to support them. In Japan, this has become a real problem. These days, it’s an absolute nightmare if we were to be void of our handphones, computers, and the internet. While technology is not the root cause of the hikikomori syndrome, it provides a gateway to endless virtual worlds that we can immerse ourselves in. Nat*, another Redditor, says he usually spends an average of 10 hours on his computer and does not see the need to leave his home. Whether it’s food or entertainment, technology has made that conveniently accessible and available for us. There are even avenues to learn and work ‘virtually’, with online classes and freelance jobs. All of these make it even easier for one to slip into the hikikomori lifestyle. With that said, however, completely isolating oneself from society is not healthy, and should not be normalised. Regardless, Josh hopes that hikikomori will have it in them to realise that they are responsible for themselves, and find the strength in them to overcome it, just like he did.
“There’s only so much that others can help you with. Only you can change yourself. Even if it’s for your parents or yourself, I hope you will find it in you to want to get better.”
“We all are living for a reason. We need to reflect on that more often, to put our lives into perspective. Once things are in perspective, it will all make sense in the end.” “After all, life exists and thrives beyond these four walls, but it’s up to us whether or not we want to open the door to live.” *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals. Also read: It’s The 21st Century, Why Do We Still Treat Maids Like Slaves? (Header Image Credit: Unsplash)
"I have a good work-life balance. Everyone in my office knocks off at 5pm (or 6pm) every day."  - Said no one ever. Singaporeans are overworked AF - We clocked in the longest working hours in the world in 2017. On average, <a href=" work 45 hours a week. To most of us, 45 hours do not seem like a lot, but it's because we are so used to such working hours. In fact, staying in office way beyond our 'official working hours' or working overtime (OT) is considered a norm today. Granted, there are those who work till late because they are really swamped with important deadlines. However, many Singaporeans OT also because of the societal pressure that dignifies OT, making it seem like one needs to OT to show their dedication to the company.

THE PRESSURE TO STAY BACK

I recently came across an Instagram story a friend, Jason*, posted. In it, he shared about how he had left work at 6pm sharp, only to have one of his colleagues pass a snide comment at him, "wah today go home so early.” That comment may very well be passed off as a joke, but that wasn’t the first time Jason’s colleague made such comments. It happens every time Jason leaves work on time and it shows an underlying problem that is apparent in our work culture. It's worth noting that Jason gets to work at 9am, finishes all that is required for the day and leaves the office between 6pm to 6.30pm regularly. So on that fine day, Jason finally gave his snarky colleague a comeback, “Oh, hahaha, but I also come to work on time.”   applause

GIF by GIPHY

But this story isn't about giving snarky people a taste of their own medicine, it's about the unhealthy association we have with working OT and employee's value. As if an outlet that everyone was waiting for, Jason's story received an outpour of positive replies from friends and followers who had also experienced similar situations.

“Going home on time isn’t a crime and OT-ing isn’t a prize.”

Truer words could not have been spoken. Clearly, Jason isn't alone in this. Most of us have been in Jason's position at some point of our career. Somehow, we feel obliged to stay back beyond our designated knock off time, especially when everyone around us seems to be glued to their seats. In fact in our society today, staying back late is deemed a positive trait. It's not surprising for bosses to have the impression that an employee OTing in the office till 10pm is a hardworking one. When did staying late at work translate to employee dedication or value? And who's to say employees don't use that mentality to their benefit, exploiting it to show their "dedication" for their work? Contrarily, no one would instinctively think of an employee who leaves office on time as an A-star employee. Because of such workplace beliefs, we feel paiseh to be the first one out the door. We choose to stare at our screens in the office just because our other colleagues are doing so. Of course, I'm not implying that everyone OT for that sole reason because some really do have to get shit done. However, many of us have been a victim to this guilt and the fear that we will be looked down upon. It's a worrying mindset to have and kind of sad. Instead of prioritising productivity and good time management, we tend to patronise employees who leave on time and favour those who stay late, even if it could mean that they lack the two aforementioned skills.

STOP TORTURING YOURSELF

This unnecessary societal pressure is further egged on by something that is innately Singaporean: our "kiasu" mentality. We always want to be better than the person next to us. It's a national sport to be competitive and this mentality manifests itself in the hours we put into work. It cultivates an unhealthy showcase of competition where everyone wants to show that they're putting in equal, if not more effort than our peers. If we weren't all caught up in the rat race, there wouldn't be a need to do OT just to prove our worth in the first place. Ask anyone to choose between work or family and friends with the context that their livelihood isn't a problem and chances are most will choose family and friends. A survey from 2016 showed that about 50% Singaporeans said they don’t spend enough quality time with their family. With figures like these, it’s no surprise that Singaporeans constantly look like they're in need of a Red Bull. I know that we millennials like to think that we're invincible and while we're still young, we see the need to strive and work harder for better days. But everyone needs work-life balance. Not only does staying late affect our social life, it affects our physical and mental health. Working late into the night and waking up at 6am or 7am the next day for work again is only going to leave us drained. Besides, we've seen the many research studies that link stress and fatigue to decreased productivity. Even our eyes need a break from the computer screen every 20 minutes. We need to give our minds and a body a break. The less rest we get, the less productive we’ll be at work the next day, which leads to the need to OT and the vicious cycle repeats. Do we really want to live our life in an endless loop of feeling stoned? I certainly don't want to go about my life like 'the working dead'. We are human beings after all and the stress and mental fatigue that build up with constant OT should not be taken lightly. 'Death from overwork' is real - after clocking in more than 100 hours of overtime in a month, Matsuri Takahashi killed herself at the age of 24, and hers is not the only case in Japan that have been ruled 'death from overwork'. I'm thankful that the situation in Singapore isn't as drastic, but I also hope we never have to see that headline on local news.

WORK-LIFE BALANCE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A MYTH

Many of us today believe that work-life balance is simply not possible. “No such thing one lah!” We say. On the other hand, I have friends in countries like Australia, who tell me how they are blessed with employers who encourage them to leave work on time. One of them even shared that her employer had told her to go home two hours early because she had finished what she had to do for the day. Holler at me if you find an employer who would do that in Singapore. Working hours were made to be 8 hours for a reason. Whether it's to make sure people don't go insane from work or whatsoever, there's no need to stay back in the office unless we really need to - like to complete urgent projects or client deadlines that we die-die have to finish. Remember that at the end of the day, we work to earn a living, but is it worth it to be only living for work? It’s cool if you want to be a Jason. If you're done with work, go forth and leave the damn office when the clock strikes six. And if your bosses don't seem to comprehend the concept of productivity and that you are human, you can decide if you're paid enough to sell your life to work. And if you’re someone who likes to take a lot of breaks during the day because you just work better at night, that’s great too. Just, maybe, refrain from being condescending to those who leave on time. *Name has been changed to prevent the individual from losing his job. Also read: “It’s Just My Job” – Not All Insurance Agents Are Annoying Assholes
After over 20 years of rushing assignments and mugging for papers, you’ll heave a euphoric sigh of relief that you’ve finally graduated. Then come the questions from friends, lecturers, and family: “So what’re going to do next?” or “Have you applied for jobs yet?” For some, you’ve got your ideal path charted out for yourself – good on you! But for many, those questions are as dreadful as the “why are you still single” questions at every family gathering, because honestly, you don’t really know. In the case that you’re stepping out into the ‘working world’, you do have interests of course. You’re keen to learn and grow in a job somewhere, somehow. Yet, you’re filled with doubts. Whether you’ve just graduated and feeling lost, or (like me) have been unsure and hopping from one job to another, know that that’s fine. There’re many Singaporeans who’ve gone through this phase as well, and that doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re flaky. We reached out to 5 Singapore millennials, who shared their journey in finding themselves and their career path.

“Time is so important, so do something you truly find satisfaction in.”

I don't think I had any idea of what I really wanted to do after graduation. I went into procurement, HR, and corporate services on my first job, which wasn't something I expected to be doing at all since I studied Sociology. I then moved on to PR, and today I’m an editor at an online publication. Switching between jobs is something pretty common among peers, and it's not because we're 'soft' or anything. We're just taking more time to find a path that truly suits us. I have switched to different work scopes myself, as I was finding a field I could truly excel and find satisfaction in. Personally, I leave the moment I feel like I'm stagnating, because time is so important. And after going through three jobs, I kind of know where I find the most job satisfaction and which path I can embark on.

It’s Alright…

Don't be afraid to try different jobs, but always know what you're looking for in the long term and work towards it. Don't waste yours, or anyone else's time. – Melissa, 27, Graduated 2013, on the 3rd job

“Everyone’s got a different mindset, so don’t get pressured by others”

Since I graduated with a degree in Banking and Finance, I've changed three jobs and am on my fourth now. I was a bank teller for a year and a service ambassador for another. Afterthat, I taught at an enrichment centre – I used to give tuition during my poly days and I love kids. It was a fulfilling two years before I joined Singapore Airlines as a stewardess. I am a mortgage broker today and my job is to find the best private home loan for homeowners. One of my reasons for switching jobs is to seek new challenges in life. I also felt that I needed to explore different careers before settling on one. I feel that everyone has a different mindset. My parents, spouse, friends, and colleagues have all been very supportive and they would encourage me to go for what I want instead of staying stagnant. However, there were interviewers I met who'd comment on how I changed jobs too quickly and that my experience in different industries varies too much (to be useful).

It’s Alright…

Take your time to find the right career. Your first job may not be your last. Learn as much as you can from every job. Lastly, don't get pressured by anyone, just follow your heart. – Patrina, 27, Graduated 2014, on the 4th job

“If You Are Unsure, Just Try Everything.”

I wanted to be a Radio DJ when I started studying Mass Communication in poly, but my interest pivoted to advertising while there and that stuck until when I was in uni. I got an internship in events management when I left uni, and stayed on in events for about 3 years in 3 different companies. I eventually left in 2016 to pursue something entirely different: standup comedy. I am currently freelancing as an AV crew and emcee, but it’s more to feed myself while I pursue standup comedy. Ultimately, I see standup as my long-term goal. My parents weren’t too pleased with my hopping around from one job to another. They'd say that prospective employers will think I’m not loyal or capable enough to stay in a company. And I do agree. I’ve had bosses who would tend to comment things like, “aiya, all these young kids now like that one la” whenever a (millennial) colleague leaves the company. I think it’s normal for older generations to ‘compare’ and stereotype because we all do. Concurrently, I do think there are people our generation who are pampered.

It’s Alright…

If you are unsure, just try everything. Within my limited scope of experience, I feel there are only two types of people who won’t succeed: Lazy people who blame everything on everyone else. And close-minded people who are unwilling to accept change or criticism. Go into every job with an open mind. You never know where it will lead you and what you may suddenly find interest in. As the Chinese saying goes, "船到桥头自然直", which translates to mean ‘when the boat reaches the harbour, it will naturally go straight’. In other words, everything will be alright. – Eugene Soh, 26, Graduated 2015, on the 3rd job

“You’ll Learn More About Yourself Along The Way”

I only vaguely knew what I liked but had no concrete idea of what I wanted to do after I graduate. Not counting the first internship, I'm on my third job after graduation in 2013. From the different jobs that I have done, I learnt a lot more about what I enjoyed and what I wanted to dedicate myself to. And honestly, once you experience the joy of doing something that you truly like, it changes how you view work. I did Sociology in school, started working in the community sector, and now I'm on my second job in the arts industry. And even now, there are still many things that I want to try.

It’s Alright…

Remember that who you are isn’t only reflected by how well you do at work. There’s a lot more that makes up who you are as a person. So it’s okay to not know what you want to do. Just keep trying new things and you’ll learn more about yourself along the way. – Michelle, 27, Graduated 2013, on the 3rd job

“You Will Eventually Find Your Path”

I wanted to become a pre-school teacher when I was young. I even took an early childhood education cert before my Diploma in Business Admin. But after a 3-month internship, I realised it wasn’t something I could do for a long time. At first, I didn’t know what I wanted to do so I just did whatever gave me a better salary. I was practical. But I always find myself getting bored after a year or less. After Poly, I jumped from being a Distributor Support Representative to a Sales Coordinator to a Bank Assistant in an IT dept to  doing admin work at another bank. I finally found my career path on my fifth job, in events management. It’s a job that constantly challenges me to innovate and improve, and that gives me great satisfaction, especially when I hear feedback from all the happy clients I work for.

It’s Alright…

You don’t have to worry or think too much about switching jobs. What you’re studying now may not apply to what you’re going do in the real world and work experiences are way more important. Your first job may not be what you like to do and you may end up feeling lost. But it’s just part and parcel of our life. Eventually, you will find a job you like – I did. – Kristin, 29, Graduated 2009, on the 5th job

“Don't Be Afraid To Explore”

One thing for sure, you shouldn’t be afraid to dabble in different things. At the end of the day, if you’re going to be spending all those hours working to survive, make your time worthwhile – do something meaningful for you. Admittedly, we are a generation blessed with a lot more opportunities and possibilities than our moms and dads. So, what better way to take advantage of that than to go forth and explore! Also read, Baristas From 6 Singapore Cafes Spill The Beans On The Weirdest Customer Requests.
When you step into the working world, you’ll realise that you’d see your bosses and colleagues more than your family and friends. And with most of your waking hours spent at work, what you do at work makes a big difference to your daily well-being and mental health. While you probably want to be doing something you enjoy yet pays you enough to survive, there are other deal-breakers to look out for in a job. No matter how much you love what you do or how chummy you are with your colleagues, you'll still go nuts if you have a micro-manager nitpicking every single piece of your work, or a perpetually PMS-ey boss who lashes out at you for no particular reason. For the lucky ones, everything has been smooth-sailing. But for most of us, we’ve had to suck it up with difficult bosses at some point of our working lives. We reached out to some Singapore millennials on the most terrible experiences they have had with bosses. Here are their horror stories. *Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

1. “They made staff pay for 'errors', and spread rumours”

They’d ask staff to compensate monetarily for errors, even if it's not exactly the staff's fault. For example, if we had to spend more for a project than we initially budgeted for because client expected more or a vendor increased their charges, we have to pay that amount ourselves. It's also worth noting that we weren't getting any allowance, neither were we get commission for any sales closed or project done. More often than not, these are small amounts that the company can cover without making a loss. The bosses cut down money on a lot of things to save money for the company, are very stingy in pay increment, and they’d even cut the pay of part-timers. Yet, they were able to buy new branded cars themselves - although not directly linked, this didn't reflect well on their generosity towards staff. I was getting a form of non-monetary benefit as part of my remuneration package. Back then, my boss promised me that if that benefit happened to be removed, I’d get a pay increment of $200 - $300. When that benefit got removed because a colleague found out about it and made noise, my boss said that he never mentioned the pay increment. To that, I said to him, “you said that you remember (about the benefit when we started talking about this) earlier!” To which he replied, “I changed my mind.” When I resigned, there were rumours about my resignation and the disagreements between the boss and me spreading in the office. To regain the trust of the staff in them, my bosses started spreading fake stories about me after I left. They told the whole company about me being ungrateful to them and stealing their clients, making themselves look like the 'victim'. They even told my ex-colleagues not to be friends with me because I was no longer a friend of theirs and the company. I knew about it because I was close with my ex-colleagues and they told me. – Charlene, 28, Events [caption id="attachment_1534" align="aligncenter" width="436"] Image Credit: CUHK Business School

2. “She didn’t let me mingle with colleagues, and didn’t want to pay me”

I wasn’t too keen on settling on this job but I was kind of pressured into it. The boss seemed to really need someone and I decided to help. She wanted me to sign the contract on the day of the interview, but I requested time to consider. I eventually agreed the next day. The moment I entered, I was clearing so many backlog from the previous staff, such as re-organising all my boss' documents and tidying her office, which were all in a big mess. Admittedly, the load wasn't too unmanageable. However, I did make mistakes as a newcomer. One of my daily tasks was to send reminder texts to consultants who had sessions with my boss that day, even though they already knew their schedules with the boss. Once, I missed out one of the consultants, and my boss started making snide remarks at me, like how my focus seem to be on dance and not on work. I do admit to the few blunders I made during my first few days on the job, but I was honestly doing my best to fulfill her expectations. Those personal remarks really weren’t necessary. Furthermore, the mistakes didn't result in anything major. I also learnt from my colleague that my boss was already intending to replace me, even on my first few days there. Moving forward, things didn’t get better. I wasn’t allowed to mingle with colleagues from other departments. As a HR and PA, I had access to my boss’ schedule and other personal details, so she feared that it’d be a conflict of interest for me to hang out with others in the company. The ‘best part’ came when she told me about a work trip she was going on. She believed that when she was away, I would have nothing to do, and she wasn’t willing to pay me for that. She said that since I was under probation, she wouldn’t need me around anyway. Nowhere in the contract was it stated that this could be done. That was the last straw. I wasn’t going to sit around and be treated like trash, so I told her that I quit. – Shi Min, 26, HR and PA

3. “He 'spoils' the machines and keeps quiet about it”

We often have to do maintenance in the engineering line. Whenever that happens, this supervisor would go around meddling with tools and will seem to be physically working on various equipment. But it’s obvious to everyone in the department that he does that to put on a show that he is "helping". He'll then sit in front of the computer for the entire day, and nobody knows what he actually does. He has very ‘itchy hands’ and will try to modify our machines to make them work more efficiently. But if the machines stop working after his ‘modification’, he will just return to his office quietly, leaving us to figure out what happened to the machines. Most of the time he makes our work tougher than it should be, as we often end up spending half our day fixing his ‘modification’. We couldn't question him either, because he will just reply with a lot of rubbish to shut us up. He'll criticise others before acknowledging his own mistakes. He’s a typical ‘all talk, no action’ character. As a supervisor and boss, you should lead by example and not be irresponsible like this. – Aaron, 25, Engineering

4. "She insisted that she's a good friend and boss but messed with my private life"

I was about 4 months old with the hotel and she was my new marketing manager who came aboard when I was on a holiday trip. We were initially on very good terms and bonded well as we were both from girls school. She was very nice and we were close friends. Then, she started becoming very bossy and bitchy. She'd mentally torture me by making complaints to my GM that I was rude to her (I shouted at her), adding that I wasn't producing quality work and insisted on getting me fired or even hiring a more suitable intern to take over my role (note that I was at an executive level). She made me do all her dirty work and would claim credit whenever opportunity arose. But all these are still not the main point. Throughout this whole ordeal, she insisted that she's a really good friend. However, she had probed into and meddled with my personal life and not in a good way (so much that I had to block her on Facebook). I had the misfortune of introducing her to my then boyfriend's mother when we bumped into each other on our work trip. She went to the extent of badmouthing me behind my back to my then boyfriend's mother, accusing me of being rude, lazy, irresponsible and very difficult to work with. I loved my job and the people there, but she made me give it all up. When I tendered, she was exceptionally nice to me when I was serving notice. Then on my very last day, she gave me hell, releasing her anger on me because she haven't found someone to take over me. It was so bad, my HR in-charge stepped in and stood up for me. And it didn't just stop when I left. She still had the balls to message and invite my then boyfriend's mother to her housewarming party. – Elly, 27, Hospitality and Tourism Marketing

5.“I was was paid peanuts to be a one-man show”

I worked as a marketing executive, managing branding and promotions for a new cafe chain. However, I ended up being a one-man show who does opening and closing, washing the cups, mopping the floor, handling renovation works, hire part-timers, order ingredients, and was also the cashier, barista and overall F&B manager. As a fresh grad then, I was very eager and willing to learn. My boss had a way with manipulating that mindset, making everything seem like it was part of my job. Whenever he suddenly needed something, he will just throw me in to get it done. When he hired a chef, he made me go through and learn all the F&B SOPs together with the chef. Overtime, it became clear that he only cared about the success of the cafe. He never bothered about welfare. Every time he appeared, he'll only ask about the sales for that day, or whether I've picked up latte art yet. When I resigned, I didn’t even have time to go back to office to pack my things, I was still stuck in the cafe all day. Bear in mind that I was literally doing everything but only getting paid for the marketing executive job that I signed up for.” – Shirlyn, 28, Marketing and Branding
Credit: Hackernoon
If you are fortunate enough to not have experience any of such office nightmares, good for you! And if you have, we’re with you. Perhaps you can even share your tales with us – just don’t get yourself into any trouble! Also read, 10 Brutal Punishments We Suffered As Kids – As Told By Singaporeans. (Top Image Credit: Quick and Dirty Tips)
Study hard. Get a good job (whatever that means). Work hard to make money. So you can work harder to make more money. Buy expensive shit so you can impress people at work. Retire when you’re too old to physically go to work or enjoy the money you’ve made. Die. Ah, the Singaporean dream. Isn’t it a doozy?

You snooze you lose

An <a href=" recently published by The Straits Times revealed that, according to a study by SingHealth Polyclinics, more than 40% of Singaporeans are not clocking enough sleep on weekdays. I’m sorry, is anyone actually surprised by these findings? No shit, Sherlock. It’s hard to get enough sleep when so many of us are raging workaholics. We spend over 9 hours at work, not including overtime, spend an hour squeezing through train stations, then try to stretch our leisure time at home in a futile attempt at maintaining our sanity before finally collapsing into bed, only to slam the alarm clock the next morning and repeat the whole process again. Not too far off the mark, am I? You’re not the only one. “I’m not a workaholic! I like to take a break now and then.” Bullshit. You can be an alcoholic without drinking 24/7. We are constantly conditioned by corporations to work hard and play hard, to make more money and spend more money. We have been inducted by advertising into the belief that the more we consume, the happier we’ll be, so we sacrifice everything at the altar of greed and ‘career’. Our sleep, our health, our relationships, our ideals. We convince ourselves that we need to work and work and work some more to reach that fleeting feeling of satisfaction when we fill our lives momentarily with the next smartphone or pre-scheduled holiday or expensive bag. Our neoliberal greed-is-good economy has driven our society collectively insane, to the point where, as a certain famous movie character once said, “We buy shit we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t know.” We believe that economic growth is a necessity, that hyper-consumerism is the path to progress. We think that the only way to fulfil any sort of purpose in life is to work, buy stuff, and work some more. What if we’re wrong? What if the Singaporean Dream is bullshit? Maybe we should all just take a step back, and chill the f*ck out.

Embrace Boredom

“My father used to say that only boring people get bored. I used to think it’s only boring people who don’t feel boredom, so cannot conceive of it in others.” Aside from money, much of our motivation to pursue a life of relentless workaholism comes from our aversion to being bored. I’ve heard people say that if they stay at home and don’t work, they’d go crazy from the boredom, as if just being alive is such a chore that they need constant work to distract from the emptiness of existence. I’d submit that maybe the way to combat our rampant overworking and sleep deprivation is to simply open our minds to the idea of being bored. Boredom, ironically, is the mark of an interesting person, because he/she has the presence of mind and depth of thought to constantly seek more stimulating things. A boring person is never bored, because he/she absorbs himself in work and play, obsessing over unimportant things, never seeking anything new. Companies love boring people. They work intently all day, never allowing distractions from anything or anyone. They work longer hours than is required of them, and even continue working at home. They are so afraid of having nothing to do that they cling obsessively to their jobs like a sort of lifeboat saving them from the ocean of purposelessness. But when your job becomes your life, you leave little space for anything else, including your health. How can you go to sleep when you constantly think and talk about work and co-workers and KPIs, even when out of work? You try to distract yourself with video games and shows and social media, but all these only engage your mind further and drive your melatonin levels lower and lower, keeping you awake until you fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion, and wake up 4 hours later to your phone alarm blaring on repeat. Then you go to work with a hot cup of drugs a.k.a. caffeine in your hand and complain about how you didn’t get enough sleep and you’re sooo tired. Of course, some people genuinely have sleep disorders that prevent them from getting enough sleep, but not every sleepless workaholic is also a diagnosed insomniac. Many of us are just terrible at controlling our obsession with work and taking care of ourselves.

Work-life balance

We hear the term “work-life balance” thrown around a lot, but how many of us actually do enough to achieve it? According to Singhealth Polyclinics, less than 60% of us. If you’re one of the 40%, stressed, overworked, and sleep-deprived as all hell, perhaps try easing your grip a little. Start to understand that we may have more control over the stresses in our lives than we think, and just learn to switch off. Ignore work messages on your off days. Leave the office on time and go home early for dinner with your loved ones. Have unfinished work? Leave it for tomorrow. Deadlines can be postponed; assignments can wait; taking care of your health cannot. You can get a second job. You can’t get a second life.
The open concept office has made its presence very much known in the workplace today. Where it used to be just startups adopting this style of working, in more recent times, corporate firms too have begun adapting to this change.

THE DEATH OF CUBICLES

Cubicles, that once defined the workplace, are a concept of the past. They just weren’t for everyone. People began to realise that cubicles were restricting the "creative flow". Co-workers just weren’t communicating or collaborating with each other. On the outside, it seemed like the perfect idea. Getting rid of walls improves workflow and communication between co-workers. You no longer feel like a captive, stuck within the walls of a cubicle 8 hours a day. It’s an ideal collaboration hub, right? But one major loophole in the open concept office has been neglected. While the open concept office may increase communication and collaboration, it takes away personal productivity.

LESS WALLS = MORE DISTRACTIONS

Sitting here in an open concept office right now, I am triggered by almost 5 different noises. These noises are nothing more than distractions to me. There's the two guys behind me conversing ever so loudly, my friendly co-worker next to me typing furiously, or the guy two seats away munching on his food. Never mind the fact that you’re constantly aware of the movement and footsteps around the office.

THE INTROVERT’S NIGHTMARE

My introvert friends will agree with me on this: if you’re an introvert working in an open concept office, headphones are your best friend. Just be careful not to come off as an anti-social. While the lucky ones may be able to train themselves into blocking out the noise, the open concept office is every introvert’s worst nightmare. There are enough articles written about introverts for everyone to know that introverts thrive on personal space, which evidently, the open concept office doesn’t offer much of. It only makes sense for us to want personal space if we’re going to be spending 8 hours a day seated in the same place. 

NOT JUST ABOUT THE INTROVERTS

The lack of privacy is a hindrance to the creativity and productivity of all workers. It almost feels like your actions are being policed because you never know when your boss or colleagues are watching you. It actually kind of reminds me of Bentham’s Panopticon prison design that forces inmates to self-regulate their behaviour. Of course, the level of intensity is a little different. The truth of the matter is, not every job is reliant on communication or collaboration that enthusiasts preach about. By no means am I implying that I’d rather work in a cubicle. But it makes me wonder if there is a middle ground between the traditional workplace and the workplace of today. A workplace for both the introvert and the extrovert - one that gives you the privacy you need AND allows room for collaboration.

NEGLECTING WHAT’S IMPORTANT 

I’m all for having “Google” themed offices that make it hard for workers to leave for home. Implementing fun into work with beanbag chairs, foosball tables and sleeping pods are all great ways to keep workers happy. But isn’t the main purpose of a workplace… to work? Maybe you’ve just wasted 2 minutes of your time reading this. Maybe it is all about preference. But there has to be some truth behind publications like <a href=" New Yorker, that have reported on how research shows that open concept offices reduce productivity. Until the time comes when open concept offices are a concept of the past, you’ll find me with my headphones listening to Linkin Park, or something. Top Image Credit